Prussian Blue
Fragment Of The Future


0.5

Review

by Michael Freitag USER (5 Reviews)
January 1st, 2007 | 106 replies


Release Date: 2004 | Tracklist

Review Summary: While Lynx and Lamb may not believe that the Holocaust was "that bad", I'd rank this album right up there with such high-level atrocities on my list of "Horrible Things in the History of the Human Race". AVOID THIS ALBUM AT ALL COSTS.

There have been many notable atrocities in history. Many consider great historical events like the Inquisition and the Crusade atrocities, but the people who come up with those as the first items on their lists usually just have a problem with the Catholic Church. Saddam Hussein, Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot and other leaders who have engaged in genocide against their own countrymen usually have their actions lumped in with the rest, and can you really disagree? Even things like the Kent State Massacre get this descriptor branded upon them once in a while, and there's a strong case either way for that one. However, when putting events up there for the illustrious title of "atrocity", one of the most readily-agreed upon historical incidents would be the Holocaust of the 1930s and 40s, the details of which I'm sure I don't have to expound upon. You know the one.

Lynx and Lamb Gaede, now 14, stated a year or two ago in an interview that it probably "wasn't that bad."

The twins, Lynx and Lamb (yes, those are their real names), comprise the white nationalist Folk duo Prussian Blue released Fragment Of The Future in 2004. Despite the fact that the girls think that the apparent and well-documented mass murder of millions of innocents was probably exaggerated and blown out of proportion, I can hardly begin to describe why I rank this album high on my personal list of atrocities, right up there with the big ones that I just mentioned. This album is flat-out awful in every sense of the word, with nary a redeeming value about it.

Like many of us, I saw the ABC special about white nationalists and music, particularly focused on these girls and their hideous mother, the infamous April Gaede. Back before then, I'd seen the picture going around the Internet of Lynx and Lamb in their shirts emblazoned with a Hitler smiley, and for a while, I laughed along with everyone else. Watching the special on them was rather disturbing, and I don't really find the image all that funny any more. Now, it wouldn't be fair for me to start judging and grading an album based on the ideals and beliefs of those that wrote it, would it? I don't smoke weed, and disagree with the practice, but I love listening to Jam Rock. Pre-marital sex isn't something I'm terribly fond of, but most of the Classic Rock I love has lyrics that cover that topic from top to bottom. Many artists support causes that I have reservations with, but I think their music is cool and the artist entertaining. Heck, if a Black Metal song about burning churches was written with elegant poetry and had incredible guitar work, I'd give credit where credit was due.

Despite that I'm shelving my utter disgust at the girls' beliefs, I'm all for spilling out my utter disgust with the girls' musical talent. Well, rather, their lack thereof. At first, I thought this album would be laughably bad, something like, say, the Kidz Bop or Now series, or perhaps Janet Jackson's last few years of trying desperately to have a career. Man, I was sure disappointed to find that this wasn't the kind of album I can sit through with tears of laughter in my eyes, but rather tears of utter despair and a rising desire to shoot myself in the face and end the pain. I swear upon all that is good and holy, I had an extremely hard time just making it to track three when I first started listening. I was planning on giving up right there and basing my review around the fact that the album was so unlistenable that I just stopped trying... but I knew better. Real reviewers have to subject themselves to the pain, so they could verify that it does not, in fact, get better. Fragment Of The Future should come with a free plaque sporting that famous line from "Dante's Inferno" - you know, the quote about abandoning all hope. The Gaede twins are quite simply no good at their instruments (guitar and violin). Folk music has always been about taking simple strumming and picking patterns and uncomplicated melodies and somehow making them interesting and personalized, but any and all guitar playing consists of three chords strummed in boring, samey fashion ad infinitum. There are moments when the violin playing is almost nice, but these moments are quickly spoiled when anything else happens musically. I would even give the girls credit for singing in tune to each other if I could - but NO! I am denied one of my basic rights as a listener!

I kid you not!

There is even a spoken word introduction to "Road to Valhalla" that manages to combine the duo's lack of relative intonation with their lack of lyricism to produce something so unintentionally creepy as to be a good reason to just turn off the album right away and go do something more productive. Like playing solitaire. Or sharpening your mechanical pencils, increasing the dosage on your medication, or maybe masturbating for like two minutes to the thought of cats in a field of heather. Possibly even ice fishing. At least ice fishing is relaxing.

Again, looking past the fact that the lyrics are mostly just propagandist and hateful, the poetry applied to delivering the message is awful. These were written by home-schooled twelve-year olds and BOY does it ever show. Everything is simplistic to the point of being brain-dead in construction, about as straightforward as the girls walking up to you and nailing a note on your forehead that says "BEING WHITE IS AWESOME. BLACKS AND OTHERS AREN'T EVEN HUMAN PROBABLY. RACE WAR, ALRIGHT, IT'S GONNA BE SOON AND WE'RE GONNA WIN. THOSE DUDES IN CHARGE OF THE NAZI REGIME WERE KINDA COOL." God-freaking-DAMMIT, if you're going to beat me about the head with something I disagree with, at least try to add some subtlety! Why do we regard old heroes of Folk like Bob Dylan as lyrical geniuses? Because, aside from the fact that he literally invented many rhyme schemes that are now commonly used, it takes half a bloody hour in an English class with the professor prompting the students to figure out what the hell Dylan is saying sometimes! (See: "Hard Rain", "Subterranean Homesick Blues", et al) You don't have to approach lyricism from a "let's make this impossibly cool" standpoint, but at least have the decency to approach it from any other angle then "I have an opinion, so I wrote it down and rhymed some words. It's a song now."

In summary: when you combine utterly sparse production and arrangement, vapid instrument playing, tuneless voices trying to carry a melody or two and blunt lyrics - with all parts stripped of any shred of beauty due to incompetence - you get an album that is so bad that I wouldn't even recommend you people listen to it just to hear how awful it is. Stay the HELL away from this mess unless you really, really enjoy it when your ears bleed and the two halves of your brain look at each other and exclaim "It's dark in here, and we may die!" Do NOT scour the Internet for samples. Do NOT download this. And for the love of God, do NOT support this trash or the brat twins creating it by buying it. Not even for a frisbee. From a purely objective standpoint, there is not a thing I can find about this album that makes it even remotely worthwhile, even for purposes of comedy. Now that I've reviewed it, I'm deleting it from my computer forever so I can try to rid my mind of it and put my soul back at rest.

Also, naming your band in homage to concentration camps was only okay when Joy Division did it, mostly because they were trying to be shocking, given their Punk and Post-Punk tendencies. Also because they didn't just plain suck. Not cool, girls. Not cool.


user ratings (71)
Chart.
1.4
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
JumpTheF**kUp
January 1st 2007


2710 Comments


This album would kick so much ass.
Good review.

spoon_of_grimbo
January 1st 2007


2241 Comments


Stay the HELL away from this mess unless you really, really enjoy it when your ears bleed and the two halves of your brain look at each other and exclaim "It's dark in here, and we may die!"


that bit, and the whole paragraph following "I kid you not!" are two of the funniest things i've read on sputnik in a while, great review man!!!

however the whole premise of that album and the girls who made it are completely sickening. such blatant racism is disgusting when coming from adults, but when it's not even attempted to be reasoned in any way (not that such bigotry can ever be reasoned or condoned by anyone with a single brain cell), and delivered by FUCKING TWELVE YEAR OLDS, it truly turns the stomach.

i'll definitely take your advice in not ever listening to this shit.

i actually dont want to rate it, because the lowest user rating is 1/5 and that would actually push UP the average from your 0.5 rating!This Message Edited On 01.01.07

Neoteric
January 1st 2007


3243 Comments


This review is awesome :lol:

Syncratic
January 1st 2007


756 Comments


What a great review. These two sicken me.



Eliminator
January 1st 2007


2067 Comments


it's funny because this review could've been good if you didn't ramble on for about three paragraphs

The Jungler
January 1st 2007


4827 Comments


This sounds god awful.

Great review. Elim is right about it rambling a bit, but it was still very well written and you justified your rating well.This Message Edited On 01.01.07

Eliminator
January 1st 2007


2067 Comments


oh and highly doubt anything can be worse than the shaggs

Spectrum
January 1st 2007


347 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

When we look back on the Shaggs, we think about something unfortunate that was forced upon those girls and kinda grin a sad grin at the memory and the girls' sincerity.

When we will ultimately look back on Prussian Blue, it'll ultimately be pretty much the same, except I won't be grinning so much as maybe vomiting.

At least Deerhoof can make the Shaggs cute by covering them.

Eliminator
January 1st 2007


2067 Comments


i feel sorry for the two girls if anything

Spectrum
January 1st 2007


347 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

^^THAT I agree with 100%
And I do apologize for my rambling, I did rather slip into Rant Mode while writing this. However, I wasn't kidding about getting this stuff off my computer once I finished this review. It's gone for good.

Ephex
January 1st 2007


730 Comments


I don't really the image all that funny any more


That's the only problem I could actually find.

Apart from that though it was a fantastic review

smokersdieyounger
January 1st 2007


672 Comments


Great review

The ''Master Race'' can keep proving themselves to be so by making such essential and intelligent music.

Jacaranda
January 1st 2007


684 Comments


sounds great, imma have to slsk this. they live really close to me so maybe i could like stalk them or something creepy like that, that'd be cool.

MrKite
January 1st 2007


5020 Comments


This sounds terrible. I agree with Jungler, alkthough you rambled it was still a great job.
These girls support what Hitler did?

mynameischan
Staff Reviewer
January 1st 2007


17920 Comments


6,000,000 jews? pffffffft thats an exagerration!!

fucking nazi shits

grungeguy88
January 1st 2007


788 Comments


haha wow. entertaining review. I had never heard of these guys. Cute little girls blonde girls scare me now.This Message Edited On 01.01.07

Erratic
January 1st 2007


1120 Comments


I feel sorry for these girls as well. They've been taught racism all their lives. They're probably gonna grow up to be just like their mother and the both of them will have kids like this. It's just sad.

Iai
Emeritus
January 1st 2007


3553 Comments


Lewis Black quotes are for the win.

riobravo1023
January 1st 2007


274 Comments


Funniest review I've read in a while. Good job.

trustxdialect
January 1st 2007


1502 Comments


This... This was brilliant.



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