Jennifer Lopez: Poop Star
2012-09-04 by John Cruz | 92 Comments

Proving no matter how rich, famous, beautiful, or ass heavy you are a woman still has to be a mom and love her kids no matter what, Jennifer Lopez recently confided to another reporter some of the trails and tribulations her and a battalion of nannies must endure while on the road with her and ex hubby Marc Anthony's kids.

"My son is very into that word right now. Everything is poop. Mr Poop, poopy this, poop that," she laughed during an interview for UK TV show Lorraine.

TMI, Jen! TM freakin' I!!

This woman should have replaced Kathy Lee Gifford Rippa on GMA years ago! I can hardly wait until next tour when her daughter starts spouting off about pee-pee and doo-doo.

Keep us updated, Jen. You've never been classier!

Twitter

Band Page: Jennifer Lopez

Comments:Add a Comment 
thumbcrusher
September 4th 2012

3546 Comments


poop

hehehe

Tyrael
September 4th 2012

20400 Comments


Ughhhhhh

Digging: Lantlos - Melting Sun

auberginedreams
September 4th 2012

5981 Comments


why. is. this. news.

MichaelSnoxall
September 4th 2012

12163 Comments


Okay, what the hell?

Psycotrip
September 4th 2012

287 Comments


jennyy has a fanny

FictionalFlames
September 4th 2012

1511 Comments


first "paragraph" is one giant sentence.

Shuyin
September 4th 2012

10430 Comments


lmao

Digging: All the Empires of the World - Sunscraper

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
September 4th 2012

23652 Comments


"TMI, Jen! TM freakin' I!!"

haha

hey and look all the resident sandy vaginae have shown up to make a big deal of nothing!

(apparently that's the proper pluralization of "vagina" who knew?!?!?!?!?!?)

Digging: Trophy Scars - Holy Vacants

Alrightmax
September 4th 2012

112 Comments


...what is this crap

no pun intended

Omnisonic
September 4th 2012

117 Comments


RIP Sputnik

BigBlob
September 4th 2012

1447 Comments


So my news article about Fred Durst doing a collaboration with Insane Clown Posse was rejected, yet this shit isn't?!

ThroneOfAgony
September 4th 2012

3485 Comments


yeah

BigBlob
September 4th 2012

1447 Comments


excuse me?

SCREAMorphine
September 4th 2012

1704 Comments


Sputnik has been interesting lately ahaha

BigBlob
September 4th 2012

1447 Comments


No, explain!

MichaelSnoxall
September 4th 2012

12163 Comments


Fuck, Blob, learn to comprehend andcas' bad jokes.

BigBlob
September 4th 2012

1447 Comments


It was a joke?

oh fuck....

NorwichScene
September 4th 2012

1341 Comments


I submitted a news piece a couple of weeks about about the coldest gig attempt ever (Charlie Simpson). It didn't get approved, but this did? WTF

KatatoNick
September 4th 2012

128 Comments


No such thing as good jokes either, they all kind of rest in a haze of grey. in fact fifty jokes could be seen as 'Fifty Haze of Grey'.

tempest--
September 4th 2012

10859 Comments


>log on Sputnik
>see news articles
>"Jennifer Lopez: Poop Star" & "Why Do Birds Sing So Gay?"
>Both by John Cruz

Youtellme
September 4th 2012

1351 Comments


I think Cruz is doing this on purpose, cause i mean damn this is fucking weird

Jesuslaves
September 4th 2012

4572 Comments


i'd eat her poop

Youtellme
September 4th 2012

1351 Comments


...what the fuck

Jesuslaves
September 4th 2012

4572 Comments


yours too

InFiction
September 4th 2012

3587 Comments


What happened to this site?

SharkEthic
September 4th 2012

572 Comments


Jennifer Lopez telling someone that her son says "poop" is considered news on Sputnik now?

Digging: Drug Church - Paul Walker

KILL
September 4th 2012

67082 Comments


sweet

Volt2187
September 4th 2012

238 Comments


Thought I was on Sputnik, not TMZ.

Youtellme
September 4th 2012

1351 Comments


You can thank John Cruz for the confusion

henryChinaski
September 4th 2012

2457 Comments


Who cares, get naked Jennifer!

Digging: The War on Drugs - Lost in the Dream

North0House2
September 4th 2012

5615 Comments


I honestly am having a hard time wading through all these random articles just to find one article that's ACTUAL music news.

Digging: Horseback - Piedmont Apocrypha

North0House2
September 4th 2012

5615 Comments


However, it is slightly entertaining.

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
September 4th 2012

17343 Comments


alright buddy its time to give it up

Digging: Monolake - Interstate

Youtellme
September 4th 2012

1351 Comments


I was hoping that with the site down something would accidentally delete John Cruz's profile and this

Fluttertrank
September 4th 2012

16963 Comments


lmao wut is this. but i luv it

Digging: Xanthochroid - Blessed He With Boils

Upsidedown_and_Sideways
September 4th 2012

246 Comments


If you love it, go to place that this article rips it's style from...TMZ.



Xenophanes
Emeritus
September 4th 2012

10553 Comments


These articles are actually starting to become funny because the guy posting themis so oblivious to how not funny he actually is

Digging: Saintseneca - Dark Arc

Tyrael
September 4th 2012

20400 Comments


Your sentence structure kinda scares me Eli

ZenIsNotChosen
September 4th 2012

94 Comments


Fucking stop this shit. This is a serious website for serious news. You are ruining the professionalism of Sputnik and we will not stand for it.

counterintelligences
September 4th 2012

145 Comments


stop taking this shit! this is serious for news and you r just ruining it for everyone and sputnik! i wont stand for this

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
September 4th 2012

16004 Comments


Can we stop with these retarded articles now

Digging: Katatonia - Kocytean

Poet
September 4th 2012

5910 Comments


This is a serious website for serious news. You are ruining the professionalism of Sputnik and we will not stand for it.


lol

JohnXDoesn't
September 4th 2012

1247 Comments


guys this is music news taken from internet searches for "music news" not from tmz

these are musicians. jen is on tour. this is her concern. i just report it.
billie joe armstrong is in the hospital someone should get on that story asap


JohnXDoesn't
September 4th 2012

1247 Comments


its a mysterious illness and the green day guys aren't talking. mum is the word but shows have been cancelled. this requires investigation and speculation

Upsidedown_and_Sideways
September 4th 2012

246 Comments


stop.

XingKing
September 4th 2012

9058 Comments


I bet she takes smelly poops.

Hospital
September 4th 2012

1875 Comments


this is poopy

Hospital
September 4th 2012

1875 Comments


asdgs

fireandblood
September 4th 2012

198 Comments


Thanks to this article I can now say that I am 100% on your side Mr.Cruz. Keep it up.

XingKing
September 4th 2012

9058 Comments


This article stinks

dnpnts
September 4th 2012

63 Comments


well.. she has a big butt so her poop is probably large enough to worth mention

JohnXDoesn't
September 4th 2012

1247 Comments


"Upsidedown_and_Sideways wrote:

stop.


tell you what. i will stop when you start. if all news contributors were as active as you we'd have no
news at all. so whatever...


unless you're on an alt account? if so, fair enough. otherwise idc

someguest
September 4th 2012

18902 Comments


Her son's already startin' shit.

Digging: BABYMETAL - Babymetal

ZilbelPing
September 4th 2012

5788 Comments


This is a serious website for serious news. You are ruining the professionalism of Sputnik and we will not stand for it.


lol [2]

sixdegrees
September 4th 2012

15772 Comments


You are ruining the professionalism of Sputnik and we will not stand for it.



ahahaha, right.

Digging: Tam Tam - Polarize

Spluger
September 4th 2012

1004 Comments


Lmao, at this point I can just go to the main page and easily pick out which articles are by John Cruz. Always a good time.

bloc
September 4th 2012

34499 Comments


Got the article confused with a new Converge album HURRRR

Digging: He Is Legend - I Am Hollywood

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
September 4th 2012

17343 Comments


"Her son's already startin' shit."

john cruz take note, this is what real comedy looks like

someguest
September 4th 2012

18902 Comments


I could've made a Mexican food joke.

*farts*

HitlerIsTheBest
September 4th 2012

1585 Comments


stop writing news articles, faggot. they just get worse and worse.

Fieryfenderz
September 4th 2012

1374 Comments


Okay seriously, what the fuck. Guys this is clearly comedy gold. I mean he said poop. POOP. THIS BELONGS HERE!!

Digging: The Delicious Bread Collection - Make Love Wheat Bread

ShadowRemains
September 4th 2012

19440 Comments


I think Cruz is doing this on purpose, cause i mean damn this is fucking weird


no shit sherlock

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
September 4th 2012

48551 Comments


taco flavored kisses

Digging: The Hotelier - Home, Like NoPlace Is There

Upsidedown_and_Sideways
September 4th 2012

246 Comments


'JohnXDoesn't'

I'm not on an alt account...I'm just a casual browser of Sputnik...and while you do contribute, it seems you have no filter of what you should contribute.



ILJ
September 4th 2012

6544 Comments


I'm all for spicing it up news wise, but news articles like this are just bumping actual news worthy articles off of the front page. I'm sorry, but I don't consider this news worthy in the least.

Digging: The Hotelier - Home, Like NoPlace Is There

Mace
September 4th 2012

60 Comments


PLEASE STOP WRITING NEWS ARTICLES JOHN CRUZ

Youtellme
September 4th 2012

1351 Comments


no shit sherloc


i mean to troll, genius.

PistolPete
September 4th 2012

3462 Comments


"Jennifer Lopez: Poop Star"

John Cruz article?

John Cruz article

Digging: Jolly - The Audio Guide to Happiness (Part 1)

Skoj
September 4th 2012

910 Comments


IVE GOTTA SHIT

Digging: Kvelertak - Kvelertak

Vishis271
September 4th 2012

14 Comments


"Keep us updated"? Speak for yourself.

JWT155
September 4th 2012

9184 Comments


News on Sputnik has become a joke

Satellite
September 4th 2012

19885 Comments


i love this guy

Digging: The Menzingers - Rented World

MuhNamesTyler
September 4th 2012

3014 Comments


HAHAHAHA POOP! Hey her son probably picks his nose and thinks boogers are cool too! *crosses fingers for next article*

salgoode
September 5th 2012

1 Comments


[What happened to this site?] X2

VanitySeason
September 5th 2012

396 Comments


you can literally determine which news articles are written by john cruz

all the fucking terrible ones

Ethics
September 5th 2012

4112 Comments


Poopy this, poopy that.

MrElmo
September 5th 2012

1950 Comments


you can guess honestly say it's a john cruz just by the title

SowingSeason
Emeritus
September 5th 2012

14512 Comments


I love having a sense of humor on a site like this as much as the next guy, but can we at least be clever about how we do it?

ChuckyTruant
September 5th 2012

15572 Comments


God these articles blow.

Digging: Architects - Lost Forever // Lost Together

MO
September 5th 2012

17364 Comments


poop star, I mean come on how can you get more clever than that!

Digging: Soundtrack - Turok 2: Seeds of Evil OST

Wizard
September 5th 2012

18784 Comments


Someone please explain to me why this is any different than a normal parents experiences in life? Why even throw negativity here way or better yet, pay attention to a story like this?

Digging: Triptykon - Melana Chasmata

auberginedreams
September 5th 2012

5981 Comments


these articles just keep getting worse and worse ugh.

auberginedreams
September 5th 2012

5981 Comments


that's true. it doesn't get much worse than an article about shit.

evilford
September 5th 2012

19994 Comments


reported

porch
September 5th 2012

8390 Comments


hope he keeps doing this

evilford
September 5th 2012

19994 Comments


this JohnXDoesn't fellow is probably just a riff alt

Youtellme
September 5th 2012

1351 Comments


Everyone is a riff alt now.

TheJunkhead
September 5th 2012

42 Comments


Even though I just found out this shocking news, I still wanna fuck her, and her music still sucks more than ever

PoodleRapist
September 6th 2012

247 Comments


i love how people are so outraged that this guy keeps making idiotic news articles, yet they keep reading them. and even clarify that they can spot one of his articles on sight, and then read them anyway.

Like honestly, if you thought "Jennifer Lopez: Poop Star" was a legit news article, you are about as smart as John Cruz is funny.

Emim
September 6th 2012

26195 Comments


since when has blatant idiocy ever stopped onlookers?

Puzzles
September 6th 2012

3065 Comments


This is not news. This is a trivial excuse for more of John Cruz's pseudo-witty bullshit. Please stop

PoodleRapist
September 6th 2012

247 Comments


"since when has blatant idiocy ever stopped onlookers?"

touche.



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