Lavigne Engaged to Kroeger

2012-08-22 by Adam Thomas EMERITUS | 185 Comments
In what has to be the bleakest day in Canadian music history since the emergence of Bryan Adams, no longer relevant singer Avril Lavigne has become engaged to Nickelback frontman, and all around musical pariah, Chad Kroeger. According to People Magazine, the two had been dating for six months before Kroeger popped the question. In other news, there is no god.
Tagged: Avril Lavigne

Comments:Add a Comment 
Athom
Emeritus
August 21st 2012
17240 Comments


lol

Ignimbrite
August 21st 2012
5596 Comments


Saw this on Facebook and immediately checked Sputnik. I expected nothing less.

Digging: Lord Huron - Strange Trails

sixdegrees
August 21st 2012
18635 Comments


ahahahaha

Digging: Bosse-de-Nage - All Fours

nash1311
August 21st 2012
1754 Comments


This makes me wanna commit suicide. I wonder how it makes her feel. This is absurd.

Apollo
August 21st 2012
10382 Comments


Words fail me right now

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
August 21st 2012
51326 Comments


I would still hit it

InFiction
August 21st 2012
3754 Comments


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Digging: Jamie xx - In Colour

Fieryfenderz
August 21st 2012
1528 Comments


What? No. My dream girl marrying the biggest douchebag ever? Fuck.

wacknizzle
August 21st 2012
13821 Comments


This is fucking retarded, whatever just quit playing music now, that goes for the both of you.

Digging: Sempiternal Dusk - Sempiternal Dusk

PistolPete
August 21st 2012
3731 Comments


Are you kidding me?

cvlts
August 21st 2012
9103 Comments


Adam Thomas ninja post

YankeeDudel
August 21st 2012
9335 Comments


Chad got game. Prob has a big shlong too. No other reason for this.

Digging: The Mount Fuji Doomjazz Corporation - Succubus

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
16757 Comments


rofl wat

mangasm
August 21st 2012
672 Comments


LMAOOOO

In other news, there is no god. [2]

FearThyEvil
August 21st 2012
13207 Comments


You've got to be fucking killing me. That wasn't a typo either.

LifeAsAChipmunk
August 21st 2012
4854 Comments


"In other news, there is no God."

Lmfao. Anyways, this is horrible news.

TooLateToGoBack
August 21st 2012
1811 Comments


motherfucker.

Digging: Haste the Day - Coward

mindleviticus
August 21st 2012
8467 Comments


What the fuck

oWhoadYo
August 21st 2012
1256 Comments


"Prob has a big shlong" [2]

zaruyache
August 21st 2012
8687 Comments


In other news, there is no god. [4]

I thought she was better than that. :-( There is no god, and there are no heroes.

Digging: Timbre - Sun & Moon

someguest
August 21st 2012
22933 Comments


hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Digging: Fugazi - The Argument

mangasm
August 21st 2012
672 Comments


"did you get banned again recspecs?"

Yeah, not sure what I did this time either.

Irving
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
7366 Comments


@.@

controlled
August 21st 2012
660 Comments


should've married that sk8r boi

someguest
August 21st 2012
22933 Comments


at least it's canadians sticking with their own trash

LifeAsAChipmunk
August 21st 2012
4854 Comments


Snide would love this.

iambandersnatch
August 21st 2012
1506 Comments


i was attracted to her as a guilty pleasure sorta deal but I think she's ruined for me now

Calc
August 21st 2012
12716 Comments


fuk..had to log in to say this is the my favorite article so far on this site.

Digging: The Hirsch Effekt - Holon: Agnosie

SowingSeason
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
18540 Comments


"In other news, there is no god."

lol'd

mangasm
August 21st 2012
672 Comments


"haha nice recs. im starting to think the mods dont like u"

Yeah I'm going to file a civil suit.

mindleviticus
August 21st 2012
8467 Comments


New album Nickelback ft. Avril Lavigne AOTY

someguest
August 21st 2012
22933 Comments


well, she won't have to give him any bjs

Dreakon
August 21st 2012
383 Comments


Imagine the beautiful music their babies will make.

ILJ
August 21st 2012
6834 Comments


I laughed so hard when I found this out.

"In other news, there is no god"

Laughed even harder at that.

SowingSeason
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
18540 Comments


Avril Kroeger

I hope to God she keeps her name

SowingSeason
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
18540 Comments


Oh wait there's no God, shiiiiiiiiiiit

KjSwantko
August 21st 2012
9449 Comments


Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

someguest
August 21st 2012
22933 Comments


Kroger > Kroeger

And I hate Kroger.

ZilbelPing
August 21st 2012
6221 Comments


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha



lol

mindleviticus
August 21st 2012
8467 Comments


No way in hell is this for real... this is a fucking joke.

Deviant.
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
31878 Comments


Meh, who gives a shit

controlled
August 21st 2012
660 Comments


dev, stop. you're being a douche and nobody likes it. i feel like it's obvious and everyone tells you, but you still do... you

someguest
August 21st 2012
22933 Comments


Deviant's behavior is perfectly acceptable you pussy.

Ponton
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
6000 Comments


whibley must be getting drunk



eternium
August 21st 2012
16352 Comments


I lol'd but got sad. She's too hot for him.

jungletiger
August 21st 2012
369 Comments


both fucking suck, so I don't see how this is not a good match. Although a little strange.











hehe
http://isnickelbacktheworstbandever.tumblr.com

TooManyFriends
August 21st 2012
1036 Comments


I like the guy from Sum 41 better

RosaParks
August 21st 2012
15881 Comments


im crying

Digging: 1000 birds/golden gate bridge suicides support group - Timeworn

controlled
August 21st 2012
660 Comments


lol, behavior being the same as anything near what i'm talking about

ShadowRemains
August 21st 2012
22229 Comments


Meh, who gives a shit


people who think this is fucking hilarious (i.e. me)

and lol "there is no god"

Ponton
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
6000 Comments


this isnt ap style

LifeAsAChipmunk
August 21st 2012
4854 Comments


Controlled, you're very new here aren't?

Sum 41 sucks really badly, so I dunno about this.

RosaParks
August 21st 2012
15881 Comments


avril lavign is so not punk for this

Ponton
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
6000 Comments


musta been her skater boi all along

high 5 chad

jungletiger
August 21st 2012
369 Comments


also yes there is a god. Avril Lavigne is not that attractive and is terrible. Chad Crogeurrrr is... Do I even need to begin? do I? ............. anyways, there would not be a god if say like chad kroger started dating kate bush or something haha

Deviant.
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
31878 Comments


dev is still focusing on skrillex and ellie goulding being together.


This was pretty weak, even by your standards Andcas

But seriously, I'm surprised that this is such a big deal. Two musicians who are generally regarded at being terrible are getting hitched... big whoop

LG
August 21st 2012
3050 Comments


im more upset bout chad being off the market

RosaParks
August 21st 2012
15881 Comments


jungletiger lets shut up and not start a god debate please

Bugman
August 21st 2012
1 Comments


hoping for some kind of collaboration.

MO
August 21st 2012
19553 Comments


lol hilarious write up

Ponton
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
6000 Comments


"hoping for some kind of collaboration."

theyve already been collaborating

in more ways than one apparently

WeepingBanana
August 21st 2012
10298 Comments


guys how is this a bad thing? when you have garbage, you throw it on more garbage, not the redwood forest. this will keep the musical gene pool more cleanly

SGGreenman
August 21st 2012
994 Comments


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha you have got to be kidding me.

Scoot
August 21st 2012
18132 Comments


ahaha well fuck

she's always been overrated appearance wise and now it's clear she's dumb as a post. not a huge loss

Digging: Friendzone - While U Wait

Hep Kat
August 21st 2012
17484 Comments


They're probably gonna breed and in 15 odd years we're gonna be forced to listen of their offspring

Digging: Ski Mask Malley - Ski Mask Malley Vol. 1

jungletiger
August 21st 2012
369 Comments


o rosa.. silly .. I wasn't trying to start no god debate... well,... /I mean ... if .. er... if//... thats .. what you want?


but really I was saying that they both suck so this is a good match. A bad match would be chad kroboat and Marissa Nadler oooor chad krogerboner and kimbra oooorrr chad krogeeeepuff and joni mitchell


anyways..

http://isnickelbacktheworstbandever.tumblr.com

Ponton
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
6000 Comments


acad is behind this

RosaParks
August 21st 2012
15881 Comments


lil b will be the priest at their wedding i hope

jungletiger
August 21st 2012
369 Comments


That would be a pretty swift move, but if chad kroeger knows any better he'll make sure lil b is miles away from the wedding.

Relinquished
August 21st 2012
28364 Comments


the thought of this guy getting married is funny, other than that i don't care

Digging: Chelsea Wolfe - Abyss

WeepingBanana
August 21st 2012
10298 Comments


http://www.morphthing.com/showimage/2/fd478a5843ed1358f9fbda2f91c8b08f/0/59360888/chad-kroeger-jpg--Avril-Lavigne.jpeg

look at this hot piece of ass

SGGreenman
August 21st 2012
994 Comments


"They're probably gonna breed and in 15 odd years we're gonna be forced to listen of their offspring"

I can see their kids now.........black eye liner, lion mane hair with purple streaks in it, and douchey ripped baggy jeans.

It all just doesn't mix

tommygun
August 21st 2012
25661 Comments


Congratulations

NotSoFast
August 21st 2012
388 Comments


lmfao, i thought this was a joke at first

FadedSun
August 21st 2012
1404 Comments


Hahahah. She's doomed. Does she only date Canadian losers?

Mabbitt
August 21st 2012
1391 Comments


wat

GringoSuave89
August 21st 2012
1088 Comments


article is fantastic, news is depressing as fuck

Digging: Blur - The Magic Whip

fireandblood
August 21st 2012
198 Comments


As far as I was concerned she was still married to that Sum 41 chump

chesse13
August 21st 2012
4301 Comments


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc

Dreakon
August 21st 2012
383 Comments


Everytime I see the article title I think it's something about Killswitch Engage.

nash1311
August 21st 2012
1754 Comments


"just imagine him fucking her and try not to gag."

That's exactly what I thought when I saw the article. Couldn't help it. That's why I wanted to kill myself

KSK1
August 21st 2012
4099 Comments


Fucking LOL at the article.

Electric City
Emeritus
August 21st 2012
15744 Comments


hahaha nice adam

bloc
August 21st 2012
35369 Comments


Sad I'm so late to read the news, but HOLY FUCK.

Poor Whibley still...

breakingthefragile
August 21st 2012
2990 Comments


Ugh. That's it, just...ugh.

Digging: Young Troubled Minds - One Big Session

TheFantasticDangler
August 21st 2012
1218 Comments


...the fuck Avril...

Digging: Mr. Bungle - California

nononsense
August 21st 2012
3460 Comments


She should have stayed with Deryck from Sum 41

Spec
August 21st 2012
28451 Comments


I would wreck that chick mmm.

Storm In A Teacup
August 21st 2012
13602 Comments


this makes sense to me poor deryk tho

Spec
August 21st 2012
28451 Comments


He sucked his own dick lol.

Spec
August 21st 2012
28451 Comments


They probably have some fucking weird sex.

JAV
August 21st 2012
2003 Comments


Shame on you Canada.

ReturnOfTheDnor
August 21st 2012
893 Comments


He's gonna fuck her so hard.

Spluger
August 21st 2012
1192 Comments


She was like... 8 when he was 18 :O .

ShadowRemains
August 21st 2012
22229 Comments


this makes sense to me poor deryk tho


i'm sure he wrecked her more than a few times

Mickeymau5
August 21st 2012
1614 Comments


"He's gonna fuck her so hard."

Probably already did

Mickeymau5
August 21st 2012
1614 Comments


Money

Spec
August 21st 2012
28451 Comments


No he didn't because they're not married and you can't until you're married

paxman
August 21st 2012
4084 Comments


Canada sucks what's new

Spec
August 21st 2012
28451 Comments


Ever seen a mountain?

toxin.
August 21st 2012
12846 Comments


hahaha.

Mickeymau5
August 21st 2012
1614 Comments


imagine their duets

paxman
August 21st 2012
4084 Comments


I bet they love each other

figure337
August 21st 2012
474 Comments


That's not a skater boy that's a see ya later boy!!!

tinathefatlard
August 21st 2012
1606 Comments


At least they've been together for years.......

"6 months"


lol wut.



Loanshark
August 21st 2012
333 Comments


brb revoking my canadian citizenship now

KINGSTATICTHETHIRD
August 21st 2012
613 Comments


at least this article isn't biased

Feels
August 21st 2012
270 Comments


the fuck?

Digging: Mare - Mare

Irving
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2012
7366 Comments


S is for the simple need

E is for the ecstasy

X is just to mark the spot cause that's the one you really want

Feels
August 21st 2012
270 Comments


They're probably gonna breed and in 15 odd years we're gonna be forced to listen to their offspring [2]

FromDaHood
August 21st 2012
9094 Comments


Well, she found worse than that Sum 41 guy. Didn't think it was possible.

sixdegrees
August 21st 2012
18635 Comments


wow, she sure has high standards...

gryndstone
August 21st 2012
407 Comments


Now they can make shitty music happily ever after!


...












Just kidding, I honestly don't think this'll last like two months

Scoot
August 21st 2012
18132 Comments


hey hey you you i don't like my husband no way no way i think i need a new one

newjunkaesthetic93
August 21st 2012
1871 Comments


I hope they have a baby. And I hope that baby manages to be just as shitty as both his parents combined and takes music to new lows. That would be awesome.

Scoot
August 22nd 2012
18132 Comments


chavril lavouger

Acanthus
August 22nd 2012
9651 Comments


Her breasts deserve better.

Digging: Nightwish - Once

tempest--
August 22nd 2012
15882 Comments


This is the greatest News of All Time.

minimesmyidol
August 22nd 2012
282 Comments


epic
though whybley was a better match
and didnt marilyn manson just say some shit about pounding avril too? lol

ConcubinaryCode
August 22nd 2012
2386 Comments


Im sure their marriage will last a lifetime.

Devastator
August 22nd 2012
2515 Comments


Article is so full of win. The actual news though is fucking awful, this means little nickleback douches running around.

OurNumbers
August 22nd 2012
122 Comments


I hope to God she keeps her name [2]

zxlkho
August 22nd 2012
3482 Comments


I lol'd so fucking hard at this article

SgtPepper
Staff Reviewer
August 22nd 2012
4469 Comments


What? I didnt even know they were..... what?

Satellite
August 22nd 2012
20826 Comments


lol canada

massasarcasm
August 22nd 2012
54 Comments


"here's to hoping he pulls a chris brown."
I imagine he would be humming nickleback tunes while he does so.

flaffy
August 22nd 2012
158 Comments


the last sentence pretty much sums up my reaction

North0House2
August 22nd 2012
5913 Comments


How can she love his hair?

Nikkolae
August 22nd 2012
4917 Comments


flaffy i love your avatar!

Now i know lavigne has low standards, one step closer to pounding the everloving hell out of that ass.

JumpTheF**kUp
August 22nd 2012
2718 Comments


http://i45.tinypic.com/2ptdt7t.jpg


lol

Nikkolae
August 22nd 2012
4917 Comments


lololololol

Emim
August 22nd 2012
26679 Comments


this has to at least decently improve the chances of them both dying in a car crash.


it however dramatically improves the chances of them procreating.

MoosechriS
August 22nd 2012
5191 Comments


Hahahahhaha

controlled
August 22nd 2012
660 Comments


"This was pretty weak, even by your standards Andcas

But seriously, I'm surprised that this is such a big deal. Two musicians who are generally regarded at being terrible are getting hitched... big whoop"

excellent. so the river has passed? you'll start being normal again?

henryChinaski
August 22nd 2012
3104 Comments


Holy shit...

NorwichScene
August 22nd 2012
1606 Comments


Thought he was gay.

Also thought she was dating Brody Jenner.

Divorce again Avril!!

Digging: The Early November - Imbue

sspedding
August 22nd 2012
4856 Comments


possibly the funniest news article I have ever read.

Digging: Haste the Day - Coward

KILL
August 22nd 2012
73775 Comments


wow you fags get so worked up over nothin wo!ahw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dolving999
August 22nd 2012
1704 Comments


For a moment there I thought Sputnik started posting fake funny news articles lol
Jokes aside, this is pretty much the opposite of awesome. We had a similar "freak couple" some time ago here in Portugal, with the vocalist from Moonspell and the girl from The Gift.

dimsim3478
August 22nd 2012
6210 Comments


OH COME ON THEY'RE JUST MAKING IT WAY TOO EASY NOW

Digging: Ian Christ - Hara Kiri Arcade

Evreaia
August 22nd 2012
4197 Comments


As long as they aren't making any duets I'm fine with it.

Digging: Yersinia - Pafageltronen

Sciroccu
August 22nd 2012
813 Comments


"fuk..had to log in to say this is the my favorite article so far on this site."

(2).

Regulator
August 22nd 2012
618 Comments


by far one of the best-worded "news" items posted on this site in ages.

Regulator
August 22nd 2012
618 Comments


ps: does anyone know, on a completely unrelated topic, why members' "digs" get double posted?

cos i am digging the album, but not fan-boy digging it.

MoosechriS
August 22nd 2012
5191 Comments


As long as they aren't making any duets I'm fine with it.

hey hey hey lets not tempt fate now

ViperAces
August 22nd 2012
12518 Comments


Shes fucking hot.

SCREAMorphine
August 22nd 2012
1770 Comments


Ahaha, I couldn't believe this when I read it..

This won't last long, she's a whore.

Evreaia
August 22nd 2012
4197 Comments


well you won't hear chad complaining (I know I wouldn't if I could tap that).

sublimefan1991
August 22nd 2012
772 Comments


deryck whibley must be the sickest man on earth. i know most people didn't give their most recent album a chance, but a lot of the songs were about his breakup with avril, so this has got to be killing him.

KILL
August 22nd 2012
73775 Comments


why do people think shes so hot wow low standards!

Evreaia
August 22nd 2012
4197 Comments


when you think with your d*ck, the standards take a free fall. Average gets hot (cyuz you bust out
after the deed)

immortalizepain
August 22nd 2012
389 Comments


Both of them should just die already.

Motiv3
August 22nd 2012
8957 Comments


what the hell hahaha

taylormemer
August 22nd 2012
4957 Comments


Clownshoe engages clownshoe. 1/3 the way to full clown!

evilford
August 22nd 2012
25191 Comments


news is lol

article is lol

Digging: Znowhite - Act Of God

Sanders
August 22nd 2012
2379 Comments


There are no words

Aspenshadow
August 22nd 2012
313 Comments


should've married that sk8r boi [2]

taylormemer
August 22nd 2012
4957 Comments


Not funny.

BaseballJames
August 22nd 2012
378 Comments


I'm guessing he proposed to her after picking her up from high school.

PuddlesPuddles
August 22nd 2012
4787 Comments


Whaaat? But us guys here on Sputnik had a realistic chance with dat girl

Nikkolae
August 22nd 2012
4917 Comments


if she breaks up with him i bet he'll write a whole album about it *shivers*

Scoot
August 22nd 2012
18132 Comments


best article was beethoven unharmed in crash

TheGardener
August 22nd 2012
150 Comments


wow

Tyrael
August 22nd 2012
20988 Comments


this news article is amazing

thank you based adam

AmericnZero02
August 22nd 2012
3435 Comments


Oh what? Weeeeirrd.

"if she breaks up with him i bet he'll write a whole album about it *shivers*"

^hahah

Digging: Too Close To Touch - Nerve Endings

JAXETA
August 22nd 2012
796 Comments


epic

alextheantichrist
August 22nd 2012
53 Comments


Que empires strikes back scene
No. That's not true. That's Impossible!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooioooo!

Dunpeal
August 22nd 2012
3954 Comments





Kroeger is taking his hetero act to a whole new level then?

Storm In A Teacup
August 23rd 2012
13602 Comments


"if she breaks up with him i bet he'll write a whole album about it *shivers*"

that would still only be the 2nd album made about Avril divorcing someone.

SpaceWhale
August 23rd 2012
156 Comments


This news article is probably my favorite of the year. "bleakest day in Canadian music history".

LifeAsAChipmunk
August 23rd 2012
4854 Comments


Be nice, Snide, Taylor's a contributor and a nice guy.

ReturnToRock
August 23rd 2012
3448 Comments


HE WAS A BOY
AND SHE WAS A GIRL
CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS

Sorry...too easy.

Storm In A Teacup
August 23rd 2012
13602 Comments


I'm sure they will be sure to raise their children with a high sense of self-entitlement.

taylormemer
August 23rd 2012
4957 Comments


"You have "meme" in your name. Don't even talk. "

Except that it's not sounded "meem" and has no connotations with the word. Get it right.

thespaceforthis
August 23rd 2012
518 Comments


A shame. But it doesnt matter, it was him or some other random rich douchebag

the marilyn manson scenario was more disturbing

johnnydeking29
August 23rd 2012
10188 Comments


I give this marriage 2 years tops

Digging: Vennart - The Demon Joke

FictionalFlames
August 23rd 2012
1528 Comments


no longer relevant singer Avril Lavigne

evilford
August 23rd 2012
25191 Comments


Nickelback is horrible. just horrible music. objectively terrible

ReturnToRock
August 23rd 2012
3448 Comments


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yKPuy3CDoc

^my message to Avril.

cumverg
August 23rd 2012
35 Comments


haha

BonRurgundy
August 23rd 2012
353 Comments


Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

xfearbefore
August 23rd 2012
1316 Comments


Bahaha I love this article. When I saw this headline all I could think was "Well, that makes sense." One terrible "artist" pairing off with another. Now hopefully they both have their reproduction capabilities removed. Can you imagine the offspring? The horror it would bring upon the world of music in 20 years? Shudder.

Digging: Scratch Acid - The Greatest Gift

Apoc
August 23rd 2012
13 Comments


the details themselves are completely hilarious, and I have to say this is probably the best news article ever. there was much laughter.

Tangled
August 24th 2012
22 Comments


This amuses me

GarlicBreath
August 29th 2012
151 Comments


If their children even think of replicating their parents in career choice, I'll be voting for who ever is the most lax on Iran's nuclear weapons production program. Too horrible to bear thinking about



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