Beethoven Unharmed In Crash
2009-12-08 by Adam Downer STAFF | 121 Replies | 5246 Views |
Solo artist Ludwig Van Beethoven, age 240, emerged unharmed from a carriage accident
yesterday while touring in support of his latest album, Ode To Joy, in Vienna.
Onlookers say that Beethoven had many women of ill repute in his carriage and appeared under
the influence of port.
When asked to comment on the crash, Beethoven replied "What?"
This comes off the heels of Beethoven's much publicized battle with Mozart for chart
supremacy, and Mozart's Requiem Mass is off to an early lead on Billboard Top 40.
No word on how this will affect the sales of Ode To Joy, which has recently been
under the subject of critical scrutiny, receiving a lukewarm 4.6 from Pitchfork and an
unfavorable review from Sputnikmusic's own Nicholas Greer, who said "While Beethoven's
ninth effort represents an attempted new direction for the composer, it ultimately lacks the
brilliant use of recitative and dominant seventh chords in the third and fourth french horn
sections that made his earlier work, The Eroica Symphony, such a tour de force."
 Stumble
 Twitter
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In before deletion. Although it is a staff...
Made me lol.
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downer
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hehe
Digging: Kanye West - Yeezus
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what the hell
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ahahahahaahaha
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lol this is great
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rofl
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L.O.Ling all night long.
Digging: HIM - Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights
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I see what you did there. Pretty funny though.
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holy shit this made me laugh so hard
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I lost it at the Greer quotation. At first I thought there wasn't enough polysyllabic jargon but you redeemed yourself towards the end.
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^ this hahaha
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wtf random.
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I am in love with this.
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niceness
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hahahahahahahaha
downer you sillypants
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This is legendary.
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keep it!
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Lolololololol
Hate when he lacks dominant sevenths
Digging: Queens of the Stone Age - ...Like Clockwork
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^
This
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this article wins
can we keep it, pweeze
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Thank God Beethoven survived!
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HAHAHA
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Did he manage to salvage any brews?
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^^ I would hope so.
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I saw this on the main page and was like "wha...."
lmao
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we need more of these.
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looooll
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That is brillliant.
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Standards standards
c wut i did there
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bahaha, too bad only staff can get away with shit like this. I guess if it wasnt this way then the
news would be full of a bunch of bs stories though
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"When asked to comment on the crash, Beethoven replied "What?""
Freakin genius
Digging: Author - Forward Forever
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That's because staff is funny enough to make shit like this. Awesome.
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Underoath seriously was in a crash yesterday if anyone feels like posting.
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I posted it like 4 hours ago haha.
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this is hilarious!
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up nevermind, my bad for not seeing it
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Obligatory lol
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The Greer section was brilliant. Good job Adam.
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This thread delivers
Adam Downer, you are Sputniker Of The Year 2009
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good stuff right here.
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I read the thing, and was like "he's back to life?...and he died again?"
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Nice.
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lol'd massive
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That was awesome. Props to Electric City.
Digging: Napalm Death - Inside the Torn Apart
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lol clearly adam is done with his essays
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you forgot to mention that a grand piano and merch were stolen from the carriage
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That's an old ass nigga.
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rofl so fucking good
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BEST NEWS EVER. But I am glad to hear he's ok, just like everyone else. lol at nick greer.
Digging: Jizue - Journal
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yeah that ode to joy was always a bit trite. hilarious.
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i thought he died
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you've just been downer'd
Digging: Renaissance - Ashes are Burning
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omg this is the best fucking thing ever.
Digging: Dark Tranquillity - Construct
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What is the meaning of this, Adam?
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In similar news, Beethoven's tour bus got robbed today
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To those of you who gave Ode to Joy an "Album Rating" of 1, go screw yourselves. Stop listening to the same Sputnik cult Music and check out what real stuff is made of. Posers.
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1. i lol'd for seriously like a minute
2. how much weed to i need to smoke to come up with stuff like this?
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lolololoolololoololol this must never be deleted
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R.I.P DIME smoke weed dring a blacktooth grin and rock the fu*k out
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lol'd
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silly!
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This is great.
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great job Adam, this brought massive lolz. just great.
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don't delete, this is cool
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ahaha nice job
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downer, this is the greatest thing you've ever done
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Best news article ever
[IMG]http://www.forumammo.com/cpg/albums/userpics/10062/roflcopterug0.gif[/IMG]
Greer comment needs moar Thrice
Digging: Letlive. - The Blackest Beautiful
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so awesome
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sheer hillarity
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lolzzz
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"When asked to comment on the crash, Beethoven replied "What?""
Ahaha!
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I looked at this title for so long trying to figure out what it really meant before clicking. Then I
realized there was no hidden meaning, just an actual article about beethoven.
EDIT: Also that Nick Greer quote was great lol.
Digging: Zomby - With Love
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Hahaha best thing ever.
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Best of wishes to him and those involved in the crash.
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LOL hahaha
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funny
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Late on the bandwagon but Lol.
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so good
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Beethoven died due to complications from this crash. He will be missed RIP.
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We need to make this a rolling narrative- more Beethoven stories on his everyday problems with producers, collaborations, and record company deals.
Digging: Queens of the Stone Age - ...Like Clockwork
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Class.
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Geist is seconded
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lol clearly adam is done with his essays
lol maybe he wanted to take a break.
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teeny weeny string bikini!
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who the fuck cares about Beethoven anyway, he hasn't written anything worthwhile in centuries
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Lol, classic.
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This is so fucking funny
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Glad to hear he's okay
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I want to marry whoever posted this.
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Imma sorry, Bach, but Beethoven had the greatest live show of all time!
OF ALL TIME!
Speaking of which- when is Beethoven going to come out with a video for the single 'Ode to Joy'? It
seems like it's been forever since the debut.
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I came. But not cause of this article.
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lol at ^^^ and the article
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lol Mendigo you owe me pair of new pants
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HAHAHAHAHA win.
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haha
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Awesome.
Digging: Ruin Lust - Ruin Lust
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But why is the rum gone!?!?!?
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SOOOOO bloody funny.
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hahaha that was great
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Haha, nice. I really love this place sometimes.
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classic
literally the best news article ever
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i lol'd
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fucking lol
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LOL. I just realized that Beethoven was deaf. So that makes the "What?" comment so much better. Great stuff.
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Genius bro.
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Lol out loud? haha
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i find this article shallow and pedantic
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Laugh out loud out loud?
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Random
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thanks for bumping a two year old posting we've all seen before
Digging: BT - This Binary Universe
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note: never try to edit anything on sputnik
Digging: Sigur Ros - Kveikur
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Memories.
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Awesome
Digging: Strictly Ballroom - Hide Here Forever
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Wow this was an awesome read
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lol
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I remember this article way back when I was just a lurker on the site :'-)
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woah this is funny
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lol classic
Digging: The Dillinger Escape Plan - One of Us Is the Killer
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why the fuck am i seeing this for the first time now...
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"When asked to comment on the crash, Beethoven replied "What?" "
Genius.
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![[IMG]](http://www.forumammo.com/cpg/albums/userpics/10062/roflcopterug0.gif){kind=link}
![http://www.forumammo.com/cpg/albums/userpics/10062/roflcopterug0.gif[/IMG]](http://www.forumammo.com/cpg/albums/userpics/10062/roflcopterug0.gif[/IMG]</a>){kind=link}