Prince ends the internet

2010-07-07 by StrizzMatik | 76 Comments
In what many individuals (meaning Wikipedia) have described as "signs of early Alzheimers" and "a facepalm of epic proportions", Prince has ended his long struggle to stop people from listening to his music by officially declaring the internet dead.

"The internet is completely over," Prince proclaimed in an interview with the UK's Daily Mirror newspaper, which was later posted onto the website with no apparent delay. "I don't see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won't pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can't get it.

"The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good.

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."


Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN, free with the Saturday edition of the UK's Daily Mirror on July 10.

Tagged: Prince

Comments:Add a Comment 
StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010
4155 Comments


I just thought "Oh my God, he's finally lost it" when I read this and had to write a suitably ridiculous news article.

Helvete
July 7th 2010
1354 Comments


lol

crazyblinddude
July 7th 2010
3388 Comments


Article is pretty funny

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010
4155 Comments


The really tragic thing is he actually said all of that word-for-word. Album will probably be modern Prince, meaning 10% awesome, 55% decent and 35% awful

Captain North
July 7th 2010
6793 Comments


objective journalism itt

Eclectic
July 7th 2010
3302 Comments


the album will be available worldwide via trained flocks of pigeons.

I laughed hard, article rules


Douglas
July 7th 2010
9303 Comments


awesome write up

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010
4155 Comments


If he did a digital distribution/multiple-format thing like NIN and Radiohead did he would rake in tons of money on every new record. He could make tons off the internet if he just kept up with the ongoing trends once in a blue and used it to his advantage. Instead he's pulling this "stodgy old fucker" routine and it's just embarrassing to watch

scotish
July 7th 2010
836 Comments


whehehe

ThePalestMexican
July 7th 2010
2816 Comments


Lol worthy

Satellite
July 7th 2010
26539 Comments


Well, it's been real, guys, but we all knew this day would come.

R.I.P. the Internet

Parallels
July 7th 2010
10142 Comments


wait i thought prince was a symbol now?

cvlts
July 7th 2010
9938 Comments


cool story bro.

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

not good at all.

IRAI
July 7th 2010
1567 Comments


i think i miss the internet already.

Emim
July 7th 2010
35230 Comments


Numbers aren't good for anyone.

Apollo
July 7th 2010
10691 Comments


Prince is one messed up dude. Fantastic musician and songwriter though.

JWT155
July 7th 2010
14948 Comments


4 8 15 16 23 42

BallsToTheWall
July 7th 2010
51216 Comments


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ycvf9E2cjRs

Tits McGee
July 7th 2010
1874 Comments


i agree with prince

cvlts
July 7th 2010
9938 Comments


haha

Prolapse
July 7th 2010
4374 Comments


title made me laugh

Apollo
July 7th 2010
10691 Comments


4 8 15 16 23 42

is that a lost reference?

JWT155
July 7th 2010
14948 Comments


Yes it was... brotha.

Apollo
July 7th 2010
10691 Comments


nice, I just started watching that show about a month ago. Been obsessed with it, almost done Season 2

vanderb0b
July 7th 2010
3473 Comments


Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN, free with the Saturday edition of the UK's Daily Mirror on July 10.

rofl

Skybreaker
July 7th 2010
622 Comments


Prince isn't even relevant anymore

ButcheredChildren
July 7th 2010
5590 Comments


well he may not like technology but at least he loves basketball

Satellite
July 7th 2010
26539 Comments


4 8 15 16 23 42

Nice.

Thor
July 7th 2010
10354 Comments


Pretty sure the internet is more relevant than Prince

omgraptors
July 7th 2010
843 Comments


"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

Numbers. They fill your head. Its not good for you.

MonsieurGabriel
July 7th 2010
15 Comments


His comparison with MTV is completely useless and false.. Had he said something like ''SputnikMusic used to be hip but now nobody gives a shit'' then it would have made more sense... That was just an example though =)

Tyler
Emeritus
July 7th 2010
7927 Comments


Prince is talented enough for him to be batshit insane.

Ewednesday
July 7th 2010
120 Comments


What do you mean of course the Internet Is irelevant I mean justin Bieber was telling me the same thing from his north Korean hotel the other day....


FelixCulpa
July 7th 2010
1243 Comments


He's starting to sound like the ICP guys with comments like

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."



Edit, sorry bout that, thought it would show up in a column not in a long line. Anyhow it was just the quote in binary code.

Prolapse
July 7th 2010
4374 Comments


omfg you fucking douche edit that

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010
4155 Comments


WTF EDIT POLICE

Outnumbered
July 7th 2010
370 Comments


ahaha

Prolapse
July 7th 2010
4374 Comments


yeah you bitch

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010
4155 Comments


Mods had to edit my article just in case Prince sees it and ends sputnik's interbutts

LepreCon
July 7th 2010
5481 Comments


Prince isn't even relevant anymore

Yeah and totally not hip anymore, fans need to get with the times

FelixCulpa
July 7th 2010
1243 Comments


With an avatar like that I think it's best to edit FAST!

Titan50
July 7th 2010
4588 Comments


Fucking internet. How does it work

Titan50
July 7th 2010
4588 Comments


Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN, free with the Saturday edition of the UK's Daily Mirror on July 10.

rofl


This is actually true

Nagrarok
July 7th 2010
8656 Comments


BUT THE INTERNET IS STILL HERE!

Urinetrouble
July 7th 2010
5771 Comments


prince is mental

LepreCon
July 7th 2010
5481 Comments


Knock knock
Who's there?
Prince
Prince who?
Prince the Jehovah's Witness, may I come in?
Certainly
Really?
No

Romulus
July 7th 2010
9109 Comments


My internet connection's pretty faulty so it goes out every once in a while, but it happened like 20 minutes after I saw this and I was like GODDAMN PRINCE

synergy
July 7th 2010
151 Comments


I think Prince has found the fountain of youth. The guy hasn't aged in 20 years

Quen
July 7th 2010
1633 Comments


Prince is officially the coolest person ever.

MUNGOLOID
July 7th 2010
4551 Comments


the internet can't possibly as dead as his ass cheeks.

sEby146
July 7th 2010
178 Comments


Prince is talented enough for him to be batshit insane.

lol ya

tripleb2k
July 8th 2010
217 Comments


'this bores me'... Chappelle ruined anything to do with Prince. I can only thing of his Zorro get up saying this lol

GibTG
July 8th 2010
284 Comments


Not even Prince is going to be able to save the newspaper business.

bailar11
July 8th 2010
2433 Comments


want some pancakes?

[img]http://vicariousmusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/_dave_chappelle_as_prince.jpg[/img]

Satellite
July 8th 2010
26539 Comments


Game... blouses.

Deviant.
Staff Reviewer
July 8th 2010
32289 Comments


wait i thought prince was a symbol now?

The artist formerly known as The artist formerly known as Prince

Prince is talented enough for him to be batshit insane.

This, but:

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

The new album has numbers in its name

quicksilver050
July 8th 2010
127 Comments


Maybe now I can finally post a video I filmed at Warped Tour in 08 when gym class heroes did a cover of "when doves cry". I tried to post it on YouTube, but then it got taken down, because Prince did not condone it... lame.

PoodleRapist
July 8th 2010
269 Comments


but if the internet's dead wouldn't all our comments cease to exi

StrizzMatik
July 8th 2010
4155 Comments


Oh shi-

ant4tbc
July 8th 2010
373 Comments


it this going to last forever?

paxman
July 8th 2010
4084 Comments


Thought this was going to say he made a sex tape and that it ruined the internet forever.

VonManHead
July 8th 2010
179 Comments


So Prince cares more about getting paid than having people hear his music? That actually kinda surprised me.

Gajarigon
July 8th 2010
45 Comments


>>"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."
>>Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN

>"numbers can't be good for you."
> 20TEN

Prince is an overrated piece of garbage who should've stopped making music a long time ago.

kenlacam
July 8th 2010
24 Comments


R.I.P Internet. It's official, Prince says it's dead, it must be dead (like his career)

StrizzMatik
July 8th 2010
4155 Comments


Prince is an overrated piece of garbage who should've stopped making music a long time ago.

STFU noob

DestroyHim
July 8th 2010
188 Comments


prince:1 world:0

JacobsLadder
July 8th 2010
573 Comments


Jajajajajaj

CrazyFool84
July 8th 2010
1083 Comments


This conjures up images of the elderly yelling at the TV.

discoloredrainbow
July 8th 2010
17 Comments


He's just mad because his fingers produce an unhealthy amount of dust every time he touches a key on the keyboard. He's almost dead so he wants to bring the internet down with him. Misery loooooves that company, man.

Synesthete
July 8th 2010
240 Comments


Prince wins one free internet.

...

is that how you do meme jokes?

Klekticist
July 9th 2010
1393 Comments


lol memes.
lol prince

AnvilJ
July 9th 2010
124 Comments


Should have picked the Big Issue.

StrizzMatik
July 9th 2010
4155 Comments


20Ten leaked, onto the internet even!

Edit: Joke's on us really. 20Ten is the best thing he's done in forever

zulop
July 11th 2010
174 Comments


Holy shit, i laughed so damn hard

like a cat
July 12th 2010
133 Comments


"The internet is completely over," Prince proclaimed in an interview with the UK's Daily Mirror newspaper, which was later posted onto the website with no apparent delay."

ROFL

"The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip"
use of the word hip= statement invalid.

Counterfeit
July 12th 2010
17837 Comments


How?...

@like a cat



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