|Key West, Fla|
I somehow always end up back here. Not too big a fan of the whole party
scene, but there's so much that can keep you interested, as long as you're
interested in drinking.
For one thing, the beaches are shit most of the year. I'll stop by occasionally, but
so often there's just this stench of dead shit wafting over the clean, white sand.
They do look nice though, and the Key West ocean is about the most beautiful
thing you can see in this life.
Beer is pricy but plentiful, and it's a good bit cheaper than buying beer in Boston. If
you like microbrews instead of macro filth, The Porch should have you covered. One
of my favorite bars of all time.
|3||Nurse With Wound|
Homotopy To Marie
People range from genuinely interesting to obnoxious. Try talking to either some of
the locals or some of the older people, as they're generally the most interesting
people to have a conversation with. You'll get to hear some old couple regale you
with tales of how they fought off a pack of trannies in '78 and it will be the
greatest story you'll ever hear.
Speaking of the locals, they're a diverse bunch of people hailing from many different
backgrounds, and they all have something interesting to say. generally they're
pretty cool with the tourists, as long as you're not a drunk obnoxious douchebag.
After all, you're their livelyhood. Engage them in conversation. Find out where their
from, what's good in the area, all that shit.
Signos de Aberracion
Duval Street. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with Duval Street. On one
hand, there are some of the best bars on the island, plus a strip club where if you
get a private dance. the girls let you feel them up as much as you want. I've never
seen this outside KW. On the other hand, most of the worst tourist traps and shit
bars are packed into Duval St.
Melodies For The Devil
The chickens are everywhere. I fucking love chickens. If you don't love chickens,
you won't love these chickens.
I am ashamed to say I've never been to the Hemingway house.
|8||Fron Line Assembly|
But in all seriousness, check out the butterfly museum. That shit is transcendent.
idgaf how gay it sounds
The cemetery is also worth taking a walk through if you're sick of the
drinking/partying going on. There are a fuckton of old headstones that are pretty
interesting to pore through.
Under The Skin
Captain Tony's is probably the most worthwhile tourist bar on the island. Drinks are
pretty reasonable, there are a lot of hot tourist chicks hanging around, and the
bartenders are mostly pretty friendly. Got to see Kenny Chesney and Jimmy Buffet
do an impromptu jam there one day. The bar was filled within minutes with a line
stretching for blocks. Not a huge fan of either but Jimmy's done some cool stuff and
it was cool to see them both in the setting they sing about literally all the time.
Dogs Blood Rising
There are also the standard tourist trap cigar bars, most of them on Duval St. The
only good one is right next to Wendy's. The prices aren't bad and you can smoke in
the place and bring your own beer. The people who run the place are pretty chill
that way. 2nd best Current 93 btw
There's also cool shit like parasailing and scuba diving along the north end of the
island. I've never been myself, but a lot of my mates have and it sounds like it's
worth the money.
My buddy once made out with a trannie in The Lazy Gecko. She then followed him
around for about an hour. We really should have said something but he'd been
belligerently drunk all night so it was either let the trannie have her fun or end the
evening on a sour note.
|14||Meat Beat Manifesto|
Armed Audio Warfare
Despite, or maybe because of being a tourist trap, Dante's has some of the
friendliest bartenders in the place, maybe because they have to deal with such a
high volume of people day to day.
The Second Annual Report
Basically, if you want to enjoy your beer in a chill atmosphere with chill people on
the most beautiful island in Florida, head for the Porch or the Green Parrot. If you
want to get shithoused and dance with hot sluts to techno or country, head for
Cowboy Bills or fuckihonestlycan'trememberthenameoftheplace...both options are a
There's an awesome music store on the north end of the island. The owners don't
follow any sort of hours but odds are they'll be in. It's a good place to chill and talk
music or whatever's going on in the world with some fairly cool people
When drunk; and you will be drunk, try not to be too much of a douchebag. When
you see douchebags, try to avoid them. They're no fun for anyone and if you try to
confront them, odds are high that one of your friends is the one that's going to get
Again, as much of a Hemingway fan as I am, I've never been to his house. Seems
like kind of a waste really.
Spirit Of Sacrifice
There's also a pretty decent bookstore on Caroline Street, or there used to be
The Gospel Of Inhumanity
The only decent Irish pub is Finnegan's Wake. There's live music every week and
they have a pretty intense selection of microbrews.