|Read a few staff reviews buddy.|
|read reviews by klap and knott and chan and then quit writing cos nobody else will ever be close to that level|
hope this helps :]
|put on your thinking cap. if you can't find one, shoplift from the dollar store.|
|if its something thats been reviewed a lot already on here or you are a sort of respected reviewer then maybe being a bit gimmicky or personal is ok but otherwise its probably best to be vanilla and factual|
|C'mon guys get serious :)|
|@tommy, I lol'd|
Read it, it's quite helpful. :]
|1. Bring the reader in. Use a hooky first sentence.|
2. Try to be as impersonal as possible. Steer clear of first-person-singular if you can.
3. Don't make too many jokes. Snide remarks are OK if it's a bad/controversial album, but again, try to be neutral.
4. Don't just bash a bad album or praise a good album - present counterpoints.
5. Speak about as much of the music as you deem relevant. Try to at least quote examples when making points, unless it's a general trait common to all the songs.
6. Don't try too hard. The thesaurus is not a good spouse, nor is it particularly tasty to digest. And nobody loves a wannabe.
Hope this helps!
|Depends what you want: if it's just a thorough analysis of the album, what it sounds like, what it achieves through that sound etc, then try and work out exactly what your opinion is (sounds dumb, but imo it's the hardest part) and then find a way to articulate it. Use examples, but don't oversaturate|
If you want to troll (which you don't, but just in case...), then it's ALWAYS better to be too subtle than too obvious; a good troll never looks like it's trying to be so
If you want to write sprawling conceptual reviews that have a lot to do with your stupid opinion and very little to do with anything meaningful, whilst passing the whole thing off as relevant because it's eloquently written, then read any Chan review and change your mind
|Be unbiased = Rule number 1.|
|Nah, that's like rule 10 or 11 (imo); a completely unbiased review is normally pretty sterile|
|Pick albums that have few to zero reviews (no more than 3). If people are already familiar with the album, they're generally going to have their opinions formed already. Having bias is okay (Adam Knott's Mumford & Sons reviews come to mind), but make sure you can back it all up with some substances.|
I'd also like to mention that those first 4 albums are ones I've listened to all the way through and love. So if the 5th is anything like the rest, you have a pos from me :)
|smoke weed and write|
|Do molly and write|
|Drink a lot|
|I've been writing on obscure albums. You get little feedback, but it's good practice, and it's nice to fill in where some albums need a little exposure. Otherwise I just basically use the rules I learned for writing shit in high school, and nobody's told me any different yet. Also for the love of satan please don't write those long-as-fuck reviews. Those are such a bummer to get through. |
|Try to steer away from using a first person perspective. IE: "I like this song because i like the bass." That's what irks me the most when I read some of the amateur reviews.|
|Fuck being objective. Make it your own. |
|What Mike said.|
|Just take people's advice on board and use it to make your next review better. Also, don't forget that a lot of people neg because they disagree with your rating and not because the review is bad (which they shouldn't do) so take that into consideration, for example if you give Jane Doe a 1.5 review expect to get a shit tonne of negs|
|step 1: don't review albums that already have +5 reviews. your time and effort is better spent elsewhere, both musically and within the scope of this site.|
|if you have to ask how to write|
|first paragraph should be intro/stating overall what you think|
my favorite way to write is to dedicate a paragraph or even a few sentences to what each instrument is
doing throughout the album and what it contributes to the overall sound.
then something about the lyrical conntent (if there is any) and vocals (obv)
|my favorite way is to avoid formulas |
|Why is your name "MyNameIsPencil"? If that's a deliberate copy of MyNameIsChan, then it's pretty lame. I'd ask for it to be shorted to just Pencil or something. |
Lame username aside, the best tip I can give you for writing is to just keep reviewing. Be sure to take people's feedback seriously, even if they mock you. Imitating the staff reviews will improve your style, but then you won't have your own unique personality and you'll be stuck in boring sentence structures that everyone has already heard a million times.
|Here's a tip: Don't just talk about the songs. Give some insight to the band and album that you are reviewing. Also, avoid track-by-track reviews. If you choose to discuss each track, make sure your paragraphs flow nicely and aren't clunky like track-by-tracks tend to be clunky and unprofessional looking.|
|... I actually use the name MyNameIsPencil for a lot of different accounts, and I wasn't aware of Chan for a while after I joined here, but I see where you're gettign at Sowing|
|Ha sorry then, I feel like a dick. It's just that I've seen everything from MyNameIsChan9 to MyNameIsFan.|
|Both of those are pretty good homages SowingSeason. Why is that a bad thing?|
|Maybe I'll Catch Fire sweet. Just talk about how fuckin atmospheric and awesome it is|
You should have like a thesis, a main point you know, and like 3 or 4 subpoints, and just talk about those. Write it like an essay you know, but a little less formal
|do cocaine and bash it out stream of consciousness style|
|#1 Be specific. Catch yourself when using vague, meaningless words like "aspect," "element," "on a different level," "good," and try to not be passive with things like "seems to be" and "feels like" (the latter being iffy on whether or not you've already detailed). |
#2 Be aware of TONE. Don't feel the need to impress anyone, just write like a human, y'know?
95% of the time, "the drummer stays on time" is better and more welcoming than "the percussionist remains to be ever so punctilious in his endeavours." Reviewers (Pitchfork to name the worst offender) love to use fancy words to make it sound like they're saying something important and it drives a wedge of pretentiousness between the writer and the reader. Write like you are talking to a human!
Other than that, have fun writing and we will have fun reading.
|"Reviewers (Pitchfork to name the worst offender) love to use fancy words to make it sound like they're saying something important and it drives a wedge of pretentiousness between the writer and the reader. Write like you are talking to a human!"|
Agreed, those fuckers believe they are Faulkner.