KjSwantko
KJ Swantko
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Last Active 08-15-17 10:36 am
Joined 12-01-11

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 Lists
10.19.17 10,000 Posts.08.15.17 Bizarre/Horrible Albums by Great Artist
10.05.14 Just Went Through My Old Cds And...08.16.14 Need Manly Metal Recs
02.25.14 Recs Needed: Awesome Acoustic Rock/meta03.15.13 Workout Jams For Today
01.16.13 Dark/doomy/gothic Metal Recs11.18.12 I Need Elite Dm Right Now
10.27.12 Anybody Gonna Get Thrashed By Sandy?10.24.12 Top 10 Bros On Sputnik (trve)
08.02.12 Just Broke Up With My Gf; Rec Me Someth07.29.12 30 Guitarists
04.15.12 Official Nhl Playoffs03.03.12 Give Me 1 Metal Hidden Gem
02.25.12 Who Here Jams Country?12.30.11 Goin To Get Fast Food, What Should I Ge
12.07.11 Need moar Dan Swano

Bizarre/Horrible Albums by Great Artists

I have had the extreme misfortune of actually listening to each of these albums released by artists who at one time or another put out great music. What were they thinking?
1Motley Crue
Generation Swine


Prior vocalist John Corabi started the writing for this record and said, "at the end of each day we'd walk around the studio carrying our huge cocks in our hands because the music rocked so hard.” That was a lie.
2Entombed
Same Difference


Entombed doing their best Anberlin impression.
3Queensryche
Dedicated to Chaos


Serious candidate for worst album in the history of music, featuring tracks like “Wot we Do”, “Luvnu” and “Big Noize.”
4 Scott Weiland
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year


RIP Scott, but Christmas albums are generally unforgivable.
5Black Sabbath
Forbidden


No Ozzy/Dio, careless hair metal riffs, and even Ice-T rapping. I feel bad for Tony Martin, as he could’ve been a great vocalist in a different band.
6Scorpions
Eye II Eye


Scorpions irresponsibly decide they’re a pop band, and release this total dud.
7 Deicide
Torment in Hell


Laughable production and uninspired riffs deliver a death blow to this record. As user Hallowedoutchest noted in his review, “…this might have given Jesus the last laugh….”
8Metallica
St. Anger


File this under “Junkyard metal”- both literally and proverbially.
9Lou Reed
Metal Machine Music


There’s no album or art here. Just annoying, static-y, screeching noises that persist for more than an hour.
10Lou Reed and Metallica
Lulu


Metallica and Lou then combine talent for each’s 2nd appearance on the list.
11Celtic Frost
Cold Lake


Celtic Frost unveil Motley Crue styling hoping to cash in on commercial metal. Titles like “Dance Sleazy” and “Seduce Me Tonight” made little sense coming from the Thrash/black/death legends.
12Tommy Lee
Never a Dull Moment


The Motley Crue drummer can’t sing. At all. The songwriting is worse.
13Van Halen
Van Halen III


Their only release with ex-Extreme vocalist Gary Cherone. The lack of genuine energy is very evident, and Cherone sounds like a Sammy Hagar clone.
14Morbid Angel
Illud Divinum Insanus


Only good thing about this hard-to-categorize, sci-fi album is that it spawned the YouTube video of the Stormtroopers Radikulting.
15Linkin Park
One More Light


RIP Chester. Wish this album could’ve gone instead of you.
16Deep Purple
Slaves and Masters


I actually like Joe Lynn Turner’s voice but the songs are unquestionably bad by Deep Purple standards.
17Ozzy Osbourne
Under Cover


Ozzy isn’t only the King of Darkness, he’s also earned the title of Destroyer of Great Songs with this covers album.
18Jake E. Lee
A Fine Pink Mist


ex-Ozzy guitarist Jake E. Lee for some reason puts out this gem complete with classics like “Bludfuk.”
19Eric Clapton
August


We don’t want to hear Eric Clapton doing 80’s Phil Collins-inspired pop songs fixed with synths, horns, and refraining choruses, we want to hear him play guitar.
20Paradise Lost
Believe in Nothing


Probably the least bad album on this list, but still annoying with all the electronic and alt rock influences brought in.
21In Flames
Battles


If it wasn’t complete already, radio rock In Flames’ descent into irrelevance is finalized
22Cryptopsy
The Unspoken King


An unsuccessful experiment in deathcore, with new vocalist Matt Mcgashy sounding almost nu-metal at times with his cleans. Yes, cleans on a Cryptopsy record.
23Bon Jovi
What About Now


Clearly releasing music solely to make more money from naïve fans. He knows what he’s doing.
24Judas Priest
Jugulator


No Halford + nu-metal riffs = As Chuck Schuldiner would say: PULL THE PLUG.
25Skid Row
Revolutions Per Minute


No Sebastian Bach in Skid Row? PULL THE PLUG.
26Hammerfall
Infected


The power metal legends become Infected with terrible song ideas.
27Into Eternity
The Incurable Tragedy


Once promising metal act Into Eternity pick up a far worse—Incurable—case of that same infection. A fitting album title, indeed.
28Reb Beach
Masquerade


The criminally under-respected guitarist of Winger tries to prove he can sing. Tries
29Machine Head
Supercharger


Rob Flynn has put out great records, but he also has a strong propensity for following trends and making bad directional decisions like this nu-metal bomb.
30Guns N' Roses
"The Spaghetti Incident?"


Another awful covers album. The band was too scared to even list Charles Manson’s “Look At Your Game, Girl” on the track listing. They made it a “secret track” to minimize media backlash. Sooo Rock N’ Roll of them.
31Korn
The Path of Totality


Might as well take advantage of the dubstep craze right? Wrong.
32Burzum
Daudi Baldrs


Recorded while Varg Vikernes was still in prison, this album only has synthesizers, bells and a saxophone that kind of sounds like someone making a fart noise with their mouth.
33Pestilence
Doctrine


With clever song titles like “Salvation”, “Sinister”, “Deception”, and “Confusion”, they were really swinging for the creative fences.
34Twisted Sister
A Twisted Christmas


All Christmas albums considered, this one is actually heavy and pretty cool. But it’s still a Christmas album.
35All That Remains
The Order of Things


Now fully embedded in the world of Sirius XM Octane, they are completely careless about the music. The track “Tru-Kvlt-Metal” is equal parts ironic and moronic.
36Jeff Beck
Frankie's House


Created as the score to an Australian TV show about photography, but still, nothing remotely artistic or interesting.
37Slayer
Diabolus in Musica


Slayer decide to “experiment.” By that, they mean conform to what everyone else was doing in 1998.
38Queen
Flash Gordon
39Hellyeah
Stampede


Mudvayne and ex-Pantera members brazenly assault our intelligence with this special breed of bro/fratboy/back country/I don’t really even know what the hell this is.
40Mudvayne
The New Game


Further chipping away at their credibility built on LD50, enter The New Game.
41Devin Townsend
Devlab


Devin Townsend has a seemingly endless vault of great ideas across many musical styles, but he just flat out whiffed on this snoozefest.
42Dokken
Shadowlife


I’m getting tired of writing explanations, just look at the dumbass cover. Dokken basically go for a heavier brand of alternative rock on this one, and fail.
43Lynch Mob
Smoke This


Dokken guitarist George Lynch masterminds this rap-metal TRAVESTY.
44Echobrain
Echobrain


Jason Newsted’s now defunct alt-rock/jam band that was mind-numbingly boring.
45Venom
Hell


"USA for Satan" lol.
46 Megadeth
Supercollider


Replaces Risk as the new Risk.
47Iron Maiden
Virtual XI


Everything is so amateurish and lazy. Blaze tries hard but he’s no Bruce.
48Diamond Head
What's in Your Head?


Brian Tatler (guitar) is the only remaining original member, and this poppy hard rock album bears no resemblance to the riff-laden classic that was Lightning to the Nations.
49Aerosmith
Music from Another Dimension


Another inadvertently honest album title. Hopefully someone--or something--out there enjoys this because no one in this dimension does.
50Bathory
Octagon


Just a shit attempt at thrash.
51Yngwie Malmsteen
World On Fire


Malmsteen’s latest record, in which he abandons songwriting altogether and gives us a soulless onslaught of arpeggios that could make a robot blush.
52Chris Cornell
Scream


The train was never on the tracks here for Chris and Timbaland. RIP.
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