TheAnalyzer
User

Reviews 1
Approval 100%

Album Ratings 24
Objectivity 45%

Last Active 11-19-10 11:40 am
Joined 11-19-10

Forum Posts 0
Review Comments 106

 Lists
11.01.11 Sputnik Profiles: Irving12.20.10 Sputnik Profiles: Nagrarok
12.18.10 Sputnik Profiles: Willie/jethro 4212.17.10 Sputnik Profiles: Sea/satellite
12.16.10 Sputnik Profiles: Michael Jordan12.15.10 The Analyzer Goes Public
12.14.10 Sputnik Profiles: Special Double Editio12.14.10 Sputnik Profiles: Qwe3
12.10.10 Sputnik Profiles: Emim12.09.10 Sputnik Profiles: Jesuslaves
12.06.10 Sputnik Profiles: Inveigh12.03.10 Sputnik Profiles: Andcas
11.30.10 Sputnik Profiles: Intothepit11.29.10 Sputnik Profiles: Redskyformiles
11.24.10 Sputnik Profiles: Ballstothewall11.23.10 Sputnik Profiles: Returntorock
11.19.10 Sputnik Profiles: Winsomniac11.19.10 Sputnik Profiles: Kill

Sputnik Profiles: Irving

The Analyzer has been away for almost a year now after taking a hiatus to globetrot and nail hot chicks in numerous foreign lands. This is the first post by one of the original Analyzers since the one about Chan and Downer. TheAnalyzer is not making a comeback but was inspired by the recent promotion of Sputnik user Irving.
1Disney Soundtracks
The Lion King


Strengths: It looks like Irving's real name is Irving Tan. On his profile page, Irving Tan puts "Zhi Mian" after his name. The Analyzer is not sure if this is Asian for "fucking awesome" but realizes its probably designed to sound like "the Man." If Irving is proclaiming himself ZE MAN that is ok with the Analyzer, because ZE MAN has proven himself to be an impeccable album reviewer. Irving is also one of the kinder users on Sputnik for the most part, when the Analyzer sees one of his glowing posts praising Sowing STEVE M Season over yet another sterling review it is clear that his mother was blasting REM's Shiny Happy People when Irving popped out. The Analyzer pictures him as one who walks around with a constant smile not unlike the Joker of Batman lore, but in Irving's case he does not seem to be seething with an ingrained hatred of humanity but seems like the kind of dude who longs to hug a whale while taking his kids to the zoo wearing a really bright fanny pack and knee high socks.
2U2
The Joshua Tree


Weaknesses: Tan Ze Man is such an overpoweringly nice user most of the time that it is entirely perplexing to see him go on one of his patented grammar nazi sessions. Although Irving merely wants to help and has aided many a peasant writer his penchant for correcting other people's reviews can become overbearing at times, similar to some dishelved dried up hag who teaches Catholic school kids grammar and is really pissed off she hasn't been laid in about 25 years. Irving has a passion for grammar, but tread lightly if you are a reviewer less gifted than he and he happens to be on Sputnik that day. You will suffer great humiliation, but Irving just wants you to know whats best for you.
3Pink Floyd
Animals


Posting Tendencies: 75% of Irving's comments can be found in Sowing Season review threads. Aside from that, Irving usually dominates threads of his own reviews, and any time a "best user," "best review ever," "Sputnik madness," etc list is posted, Irving will show up with a post that reads something like : "Control F, No Irving. Sad Face!" Also seen frequently overly praising good reviews, overly criticizing poor ones, negging many reviews but actually having the balls to explain the reason (in FULL DETAIL).
4Disney Soundtracks
Beauty and the Beast


Famous For: ballwashing Sowing Season, attention whoring shown by the evidence of not 3, but 4 Disney movie soundtrack reviews and 4 other movie soundtrack reviews, getting really pissed off when his review is knocked from the top spot, writing exceptionally long and grammatically perfect reviews, wanting to be recognized as a great reviewer, being a great reviewer, having the lyrics to Katrina & the Waves' "Walking on Sunshine" tatooted on his right ass cheek, probably smiling alot and having really white teeth, being a mentor for pleab reviewers even if he is coming across as a dick, and recently being promoted to Sputnik contributor, a title he shall not relinquish even in the face of death.
5Disney Soundtracks
Hercules


Overall Score: 9.0. Aside from the annoying grammar Nazi stuff and acting like a feudal serf when in the presence of Sowing Season, Irving is an elite Sputnik user who has a very unique writing style that is almost unmatched on the site. He is clearly dedicated to the craft of writing and even if he comes across like a Jewish mother at times he is only trying to advance that craft in any way he can. Irving was a wise promotion because he will truly appreciate it and will continue to review alot of really pussy sounding Indie stuff and soundtracks with songs clearly designed for toddlers. Irving Tan is indeed ZE MAN.
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