TheAnalyzer
User

Reviews 1
Approval 100%

Album Ratings 24
Objectivity 45%

Last Active 11-19-10 11:40 am
Joined 11-19-10

Forum Posts 0
Review Comments 106

 Lists
11.01.11 Sputnik Profiles: Irving12.20.10 Sputnik Profiles: Nagrarok
12.18.10 Sputnik Profiles: Willie/jethro 4212.17.10 Sputnik Profiles: Sea/satellite
12.16.10 Sputnik Profiles: Michael Jordan12.15.10 The Analyzer Goes Public
12.14.10 Sputnik Profiles: Special Double Editio12.14.10 Sputnik Profiles: Qwe3
12.10.10 Sputnik Profiles: Emim12.09.10 Sputnik Profiles: Jesuslaves
12.06.10 Sputnik Profiles: Inveigh12.03.10 Sputnik Profiles: Andcas
11.30.10 Sputnik Profiles: Intothepit11.29.10 Sputnik Profiles: Redskyformiles
11.24.10 Sputnik Profiles: Ballstothewall11.23.10 Sputnik Profiles: Returntorock
11.19.10 Sputnik Profiles: Winsomniac11.19.10 Sputnik Profiles: Kill

Sputnik Profiles: Ballstothewall

Today's edition of Sputnik Profiles will cover a well-known veteran Sputniker, and Contributing Reviewer: BallsToTheWall. As always, The Analyzer only participates in an objective analysis, and would also like to wish all of his readers in the U.S. a happy Thanksgiving.
1Danzig
Danzig II: Lucifuge


Strengths: Strength itself (most are aware of user BallsToTheWall's bulging physique), extreme knowledge of the Metal Universe, an incredibly high tolerance for mead and the spiritual prowess to summon the Dark Lord Chtulu -- these are all characteristics that the Sputnik community has come to know Balls by. Balls is also a talented writer who has consistently been an authority on all things metal since joining the site in 2007, and has amassed an incredible 24,772 comments in the process. Treading the line between respect and fear, most users view Balls as the 'wylie' veteran that he is.
2The Cranberries
No Need to Argue


Weaknesses: Slowly sliding down the rabbit hole of insanity. Balls' comments, music taste and list subject matter have been growing stranger with each passing day. He's recently made lists with titles such as "Chtulhu Youth Group," "Getting Grim in South Florida" and "Ode to the Waffle House." User BallsToTheWall has almost assumed an Ally-Sheedy-in-The-Breakfast-Club-like role in the community, where users both old and new are aware of the great reward that can come with a Balls interaction, but are also tepidly aware that he may quickly explode into a cloud of dark evil. He also has not been reviewing much as of late, preferring instead to drift along in the shadows, quiety recruiting users for his various occult purposes.
3Neurosis
Given to the Rising


Posting Tendencies: While Balls was at one time a consistently reliable source of knowledge for all heavy music, he now spends a good portion of his time with comments such as "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" and occasionally a "kvlt a'nrgflsfag" or a surprisingly insightful observation on sports (which The Analyzer believes to be some sort of 'deal' with an odd group of users that call themselves TMF).
4Ulver
Bergtatt


Famous For: Being an authority on black metal, a contributing reviewer, having almost 25,000 comments, being the internet embodiment of a beard.
5Hey Monday
Hold On Tight


Overall Sputnik Score: 9.2. Overall, user BallsToTheWall has contributed as much to this website as any user, and has earned his spot among the upper echelon of Sputnikers. His tendency for being a recluse as of late and some borderline frightening warning signs are the only factors keeping this user from a perfect score.
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