deathofasalesman
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Last Active 11-26-13 5:14 pm
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05.30.12 My Band's Debut EP Release 05.27.12 Music Documentary I Made
05.15.12 Changing My Girlfriend's Music Taste04.13.12 The Difference Between Metal Genres
03.31.12 Sputnik Account Evolution11.20.11 At The End Of All Things

The Difference Between Metal Genres

Note: I did not make this list. I found this on Metal Storm and thought I would share it with you guys.
1Blind Guardian
Follow The Blind


POWER METAL - The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
2Sodom
Obsessed By Cruelty


THRASH METAL - The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
3Judas Priest
Stained Class


HEAVY METAL - The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
4Equilibrium
Rekreatur


FOLK METAL - The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave... without the princess.
5Ensiferum
Victory Songs


VIKING METAL - The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
6Deicide
Deicide


DEATH METAL - The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
7Leviathan
Howl Mockery At The Cross


BLACK METAL - The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
8Impaled
Mondo Medicale


GORE METAL - The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
9Worship
Last CD Before Doomsday


DOOM METAL - The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
10The Devin Townsend Project
Addicted


PROGRESSIVE METAL - The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.
11Cinderella
Night Songs


GLAM METAL - The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
12Dope
Felons And Revolutionaries


NU-METAL - The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
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