Reviews 4
Approval 100%

Soundoffs 24
News Articles 2
Band Edits + Tags 55
Album Edits 145

Album Ratings 2040
Objectivity 72%

Last Active 11-26-13 5:14 pm
Joined 09-13-10

Forum Posts 84
Review Comments 5,743

01.24.14 New Last.fm01.09.14 Sales Pitch: 2013
12.10.13 The Best Band Names11.19.13 $1 Albums I Bought
10.28.13 Your #1 2013 Pick10.24.13 Friends Humiliated On Reddit
01.27.13 Death Of January 201312.23.12 Death Of A Salesman's 2012
11.27.12 Favorite Childhood Albums10.30.12 Emo Kindling
05.30.12 My Band's Debut EP Release 05.27.12 Music Documentary I Made
05.15.12 Changing My Girlfriend's Music Taste04.13.12 The Difference Between Metal Genres
03.31.12 Sputnik Account Evolution11.20.11 At The End Of All Things

The Difference Between Metal Genres

Note: I did not make this list. I found this on Metal Storm and thought I would share it with you guys.
1Blind Guardian
Follow The Blind

POWER METAL - The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
Obsessed By Cruelty

THRASH METAL - The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
3Judas Priest
Stained Class

HEAVY METAL - The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL - The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave... without the princess.
Victory Songs

VIKING METAL - The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL - The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
Howl Mockery At The Cross

BLACK METAL - The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
Mondo Medicale

GORE METAL - The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
Last CD Before Doomsday

DOOM METAL - The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
10The Devin Townsend Project

PROGRESSIVE METAL - The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.
Night Songs

GLAM METAL - The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
Felons And Revolutionaries

NU-METAL - The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
Show/Add Comments (89)


Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Site Copyright 2005-2013
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Privacy Policy