Call me Pit!

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Last Active 09-09-10 3:36 pm
Joined 09-08-10

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09.25.10 Funniest Video Ever09.10.10 If You Love Sex With Men
09.10.10 If You Love Sex with Women09.09.10 Music That Drives Women Away
09.08.10 My Favorite Albums Ever

Music That Drives Women Away

I was in a friend of mine's car the other day and noticed that all of his music was grind and brutal death. There's nothing wrong with that, but I had to ask him what he does when he has a lady in the car. He said there's no need to worry, because he never has had a lady in his car. I told him no wonder, when all you have is Cannibal Corpse and Insect Warfare women tend to avoid you.
1Cannibal Corpse
Tomb of the Mutilated

Nothing gets the ladies wet like "Entrails Ripped From a Virgin's Cunt."
I Like It When You Die

Nothing sets the mood better on a first date than "You Got Date Raped."
I Piss Shit

A woman will either think you're a bit immature for your age or you're a sociopath. Either way it's not good.
Total Soul Rape

Usually you should avoid anything that uses the word "rape" in heterosexual situations.
5Cock and Ball Torture

The name for the band might give her the wrong idea. She'll either go running or she'll whip out her cuffs.
Ultra Beatdown

Do you even know what a woman is?
7Hate Eternal
I, Monarch

Death metal growls will scare her off. If it doesn't, then maybe you should be wondering about her.
Death Rap

Yes, usually a bit of hip hop might set the mood right; this, however, will make her throw up.
9Disemboweled Corpse
Chronic Disembowelement

I can see it now: her looking at you with that incredulous, "what the fuck's wrong with you" face, while asking "Who is this band?!?!" I dare you to tell her Disemboweled Corpse. I dare you.
10Vomit Remnants
Supreme Entity

The only time the word "vomit" should be used the whole night is when you're trying to help her recover after choking on your dick all night.
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