Trebor.
Robert Lowe
Contributor

Reviews 90
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Band Edits + Tags 82
Album Edits 58

Album Ratings 1851
Objectivity 75%

Last Active 10-24-14 5:18 pm
Joined 06-25-10

Forum Posts 1,341
Review Comments 50,587

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10.24.14 Best Day Of All Time10.21.14 No More Drunk Posting/girl Lists
10.09.14 "if The Smiths Played Hardcore"10.02.14 Modest Mouse's Top Tag Is Emo
09.30.14 100,000 Last.fm Scrobbles09.23.14 Favorite Guitar Albums
09.17.14 Treb Metal09.11.14 When I Say I'm Sad I Mean It
08.31.14 Merch08.28.14 Major Itunes Problem
08.27.14 Coffee And Death Grips08.22.14 If Trailer Park Boys Were A Band
08.08.14 On The Impossible Past Ranked08.04.14 You Could Dig A Ditch
07.26.14 Why Is Shrek Piss?07.23.14 Listening To Mineral With The Lights Of
07.21.14 5 Comments07.14.14 Underrated On The Site Part 1
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Treb's Declassified Sputnikmusic Survival Guide

Hey are you a new user, or maybe a lurker ready to join the site? Well listen the fuck up because I'm going to be dropping knowledge on your ass. This list will also explain how to go from a mid tier user to a top tier user, and also how to avoid dropping a couple ranks (andcas) so everybody listen up
1Bomb The Music Industry!
Vacation


Part 1, Lurker: So you're thinking about making an account on sputnik. You've probably heard about the site from wiki pages for albums or something like that and you thought "Hey, this looks like it's for me." Well you're wrong, sputnik will eat most people alive, but hey give it a shot. Time to pick a username, do not fucking put numbers on the end, this isn't AOL in 1998, also try to avoid a stupid fucking name revolved around bands or something like that (metallicopeth) It's almost impossible to gain respect with a stupid fucking name like that (besides metallicopeth, he rules)
2Bomb The Music Industry!
Scrambles


Part 2, Rating albums: OK so you've rated all your favorite albums and they suck for sure. Most people have shit taste when they first join, and the whole point of joining the site is to get good taste, so don't rate how you feel at first cuz you're taste is shit. Love Slipknot and want to 5 their discography? Conform to the average rating instead. Does Symbolic by Death do nothing for you? Give it a 4.
3Bomb The Music Industry!
Adults!!!


Part 3, To comment or not to comment: OK so my fucking advice is to not comment for like 4 months after you join. Why do this? Well people hate change and you're a new user and everyone will hate you. You don't know how many users make a shitty fucking list on their first day about how Sum 41 changed their life and how that guy who reviewed their latest piece of shit is a big fucking asshole. Your goal is to blend in without drawing too much attention. Don't post for a few months, then start posting really conservatively. Try not to say something controversial or stupid or say things like "what's an alt?" or "I already took my meds today thank you" You will be crucified.
4Bomb The Music Industry!
Goodbye Cool World


Part 4: Gaining some attention: OK so you waited 4 months to post, and then posted around 20 comments a day for a couple months, now you're ready to make yourself present. Start getting into conversations with other users, you will likely understand all the lingo and who all the major users are by now. Act like you belong, this is key. Higher up users will wonder who you are, but probably recognize your username since you've been posting a bit lately. They will then check your join date and notice you've been around for a few months and thus will not destroy you for being a new pleb. They'll also notice you gave Death a 4 and Slipnot a 3 and they will be impressed.
5 Bomb The Music Industry!
To Leave and Die in Long Island


Part 5, start to evolve your taste: It's OK to listen to post-hardcore, but not as your main genre I mean get some fucking taste. Make a list asking for recs in a genre related to a genre you like i.e. "rec me punk or post-punk" if you like post- hardcore, or "rec me death metal" if you like shitty metalcore or whatever. Pretty soon your ears will stop betraying you and start to enjoy this elite shit.
6Bomb The Music Industry!
Get Warmer


Part 6, Start reviewing: Post count is one thing, but writing quality reviews is a great way to get noticed and get respect. Your first 5 or so reviews will be utter dog shit, so I would suggest posting them at like 2 am on a saturday on like a holiday or something so no one will see them and you won't get any "lol slipnot 5 gtfo" or "this has enough reviews dickhead" If you would like constructive criticism, directly contact a staff member or contributor via shoutbox and they will help you (probably).
7Bomb The Music Industry!
Album Minus Band


Part 7, Branch out: People who tend to stick to like 2 genres tend to suck hard, so branch the fuck out. Yes I know you often said "country plus rap equals crap" with your shitty fucking friends in like 8th grade, but it's time to grow the fuck up and knock that shit off my word. Go to the hip hop charts and get some white people approved shit like Beastie Boys, Tribe Called Quest, and Wu-Tang Clan and pretty soon you'll be blasting that shit in your car and rolling up the windows when you drive past people of color.
8Streetlight Manifesto
Keasbey Nights


Part 8, Take shit in stride: Ok so a lot of users will give you shit once you're a somebody, this is usually a way of saying you're an all right guy. If someone gives you shit jokingly and you respond super serious and get on your period and get really pissed you'll lose their respect big time and they might never let you forget that shit. Always stand your ground, but never take anything too seriously, this is a music forum site for fuck's sake.
9Streetlight Manifesto
Everything Goes Numb


Part 9, Read a fucking book for once: Try not to say stuff that is incorrect about bands because you will look really stupid. Don't go on about how Green Day saved punk rock and Lil Wayne founded rap in 2004.
10Streetlight Manifesto
Somewhere In The Between


Part 10, This is not facebook: Do not talk about yourself or say completely irrelevant stuff all the time. "Sometimes my cat likes to watch TV with me" is not an appropriate comment in a Mars Volta thread. Most people couldn't give less of a shit about your personal life. Some might, and that's what shoutbox is for
11Strapping Young Lad
City


Part 11, The art of list making: Try to make your lists about music at first, the forums are form other stuff you know. And try not to be funny because you're not. Only one per day too yeah.
12Strapping Young Lad
Alien


Part 12, Honing your reviewing craft: OK so you've got between 5-10 terrible fucking abominations of reviews by now, and you want to finally write a sentence that isn't complete shite that disgraces your entire family. Try reading as many staff reviews as you can. Start to read like a writer, think about how they wrote it and what methods they used and why. At least half of writing is revision, I know your first 3 reviews were track by tracks that you wrote off the top of your head, but you can't do that shit if you want to be taken seriously.
13Devin Townsend
Terria


Part 13, Assert dominance: By now you probably have around 5000-10000 comments and like 20 reviews, it's time to start shitting on new users and acting like a big shot. You've only been on the site for a little over a year, but since you didn't post for 4 months it looks like you've been on for like a year and a half which is acceptable. Stick with users that seem to know what they're doing and try not to defend users that take lots of shit.
14Bloc Party
Four


Part 14, Try and get promoted: Hey mister bigshot you got like 30 reviews. Congratufuckinglations, at least half of them aren't awful. Start reviewing lots of new releases and ask for features and try to really get noticed. Then apply the next time there's an application.
15Bloc Party
Silent Alarm


Part 15, Move beyond sputnik: Ok so you've had some good times, but it's time to move on. Try to evolve your real life to the point that you don't have time or the urge to post on this fucking site anymore. Most of the greats do this and become legends that make new users shit their pants. This is the ultimate goal.
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