MichaelJordan
Michael Jordan (GoAT)
User

Reviews 6
Approval 84%

Soundoffs 24
Album Ratings 421
Objectivity 100%

Last Active 07-13-10 12:37 am
Joined 04-01-10

Forum Posts 119
Review Comments 0

 Lists
07.12.10 MJ's Final Retirement From Sputnik07.09.10 TOP 10 FUNNIEST SPUTNIK REVIEWS OF ALL
07.09.10 MJ's Recent Digz06.04.10 Best and Worst Reviews?
05.28.10 Sputnik All-stars05.13.10 Albums I've Given 1s To

TOP 10 FUNNIEST SPUTNIK REVIEWS OF ALL TIME

ok so i know this is my second list of the day but fuck you. this is the Gospel according to MJ
1Eisley
Room Noises


by punkgeekalt. it remains the most bizarre and baffling review on all of Sputnik. fucking hilarious
2Tool
Lateralus


by Rembrandt aka $3. despite my endless promotion of Rembrandt, he is still Sputnik's best kept secret when it comes to funny reviews. this is probably the most brilliant and psychotic of all of them. http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=37061
3Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo


by SteveKerr/MichaelJordan. yeah i wrote it but obviously it had to be on here. its grandiosity, pomposity, and thoroughness make it funny. even its concept is crazy. http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=37532
4Mastodon
Blood Mountain


by theacademy. a Spanish translation of a TERRIBLE original review of this same album written in English. http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=34784
5Brand New
The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me


by Rembrandt aka $3. a pseudo-autobiographical tale of one man's encounter with an album. one of the strangest, most disturbing and phantasmagorical reviews on the site: "I was 15. A sexually frustrated virgin. Awkward around the opposite sex and proficient only in the dark art of masturbation. One time I even fapped to that TV show Diagnosis: Murder. Then I met Anna. Shy, like me, but with a cute smile that caught my eye one day at the local Starbucks . We started talking and eventually went out on a date. She didn?t have any friends or prior sexual experience so it didn?t really matter if I screwed up or not. Then there was the bad facial scarring from a car accident dating back to her childhood, but again, it didn?t matter to me. The experience of having sex with her while listening closely to Limousine?s lyrics and fantasising that I was the driver who caused her injuries gave me a thrill that mere words cannot describe effectively, so I will now end this paragraph, on a run on sentence."
6Emmure
Felony


by Essence. all right so i checked this out and it's pretty funny. a guide for how to make shitty metalcore. pretty accurate, i'd say. http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=31952
7The Pax Cecilia
Blessed are the Bonds


by scyther. yes, this is actually supposed to be a SERIOUS review. it's the most hilariously over-the-top and terrible review on Sputnik
8Burzum
Filosofem


by TheHumanLanguage. i only discovered this one recently. of all the users who appeared before my time, this guy was easily the most like me. you will die laughing with this review. madness. http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=34568
9Omar Rodriguez-Lopez
Cryptomnesia


by Iluvatar. Iluvatar sucks but this is a funny review
10Owl City
Ocean Eyes


by t3DDYbEaR69xoxoxo. thank you to Hyperion for alerting me to the fact that this still exists. i had just assumed it had been taken down. http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=37188
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