monkeygonetoheaven
Christian Sabharwal
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Soundoffs 10
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Last Active 02-02-10 6:22 pm
Joined 11-26-09

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 Lists
01.30.10  My Account And Reviews01.17.10 Albums I'm Considering Purchasing
01.15.10 God Awful Bands01.08.10 Moon Vs. Peart

God Awful Bands

Here's a list of god-awful bands that have had zero (or a negative) impact or influence in music history/ culture, I tried not to offend anyone with this list and chose bands that (I hope) everyone realize are truly non-talented douche bags. Thank you and enjoy
1Jonas Brothers

The infamous Jonas Brothers; with their purity rings and Disney sponsoring, people have asked
themselves what has come to music? With lyrics like "I went to the Year 3000, It's the same but it's
all underwater" it doesn't get anymore cheesy/awful. However, it did bring an idea to the media: aim
music towards mindless little girls with "cute" teenage boys who will make their vaginas tingle. Good
job Disney, you have poisoned the mind of millions of little girls
2Dragonforce

Do I really need to explain this one? Their music is mindless guitar shredding, repetitive riffs, and
cheesy lyrics about mythical creatures and quests. Imagine a hair metal band made up of a bunch of
World of Warcraft players. It's also quite sad that the reason for their success was through a video
game where you play guitar using a plastic controller. The ironic part is that the band members
cannot play their instruments for sh*t. Watch them play live. That super-awesome solo in Through
the Fire and the Flames won't sound as "uber-l33t" as it was when you played in on Guitar Hero. And
I mean seriously, you can't take someone seriously if their favorite band has a name like
"Dragonforce."
3Cute Is What We Aim For

Imagine taking a rubber band around your testicles, you might experience the pain that I did
listening to this. Pop-punk is already awful, but when you add sissy vocals and pathetic attempts at
guitar riffs, it becomes atrocious. I challenge you to listen to a playlist of CIWWAF and tell the
difference between songs.
4Poison

Basically, it's a bunch of pretty-boys playing distorted distorted glam-rock guitar hooks, a very
feminine lead singer, and lyrics pertaining to sex. Sound appealing? Maybe, if your a gay cowboy like
Bret Michaels. Listen to "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" and if you can find anything more disgraceful/
cliche, I will give you a cookie. Basically, Hair Metal sucks, but this band especially stand out as the
weakest link. (ALSO: look at the cover of "What the Cat Dragged In" 0_0)
53OH!3

Name one song by them besides that piece of trash, "Don't Trust Me." Case settled. I understand
that they're a joke band, but their music is taken seriously so I can't help but describe them as a
disgrace to pop, or music in general. It's two "lovers" making techno/ pop-punk dance tunes. Don't
get much worse
6All Time Low

Watch the music video for "Weightless", and watch these teenage pretty-boys with scene haircuts
attempt humor. It's pretty sad, considering how much they glamor their lives/ music, and how the
frontman, Alex Gaskarth, thinks every girl wants him (which, unfortunately, they do). But, the fact
they try to pull it off as if they're talented musicians, who are "misunderstood", is pretty pathetic.
Hell, they even bash themselves in the video. Their name describes this perfectly.
7Breaking Benjamin

I used to be a fan of this band, but with their newest release Dear Agony, I have decided their will be no
maturation of this band. Basically the Pretentious nu-metal songs all have the same structure: Super
hard-core metal guitar lead + slow down verse + harder, louder chorus = Breaking Benjamin's
mediocre song.
8Nickelback

And the question remains, "WHO THE HELL LIKES NICKELBACK?!?!"
9Avril Lavigne

Spoiled, bratty, hormonal teenage girl attempts to sound punk/ hardcore. Awesome.
10John Mellencamp

If you grow up in Indiana, you'll know what I mean
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