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Qwe Qwetherington
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Last Active 02-22-14 11:51 pm
Joined 09-10-09

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04.04.14 Underrated Rap02.22.14 This Musics Good Listen To It
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12.20.10 Qwe: Rap This Year 11.06.10 FuckingRIFFS
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(The Real) What Your Favorite 'Sputnik Band' Says About You

this is the right one sorry SS
1Converge

You like to think of yourself as a massive beefcake who can listen to scary shit like a dude yelling at you and loud buzzy guitars and not be afraid, which is a shame, because you were born with a hopelessly small winkle. It's alright though, because you compensate by listening to EBS (elite beefcake shit) like Converge to supplant your phallus-induced feelings of inadequacy with a feeling of superiority. You GET Converge. Others don?t. You GET that the indecipherable vocals are not condemned because the sheer EMOSHUN brought forth on the waves of demented screams is enough to connect with you. You probably use words like "visceral" or "cathartic" and imagine your AILD-loving inferiors frantically thumbing through thesauruses. You listen to metalcore in its purest form and you've managed to convince yourself you enjoy it too. You're pretty great.
2Brand New

You're the kind of person who listened to a shitload of mediocre pop-punk and alternative rock before this album. Compared to the feces you've been shoving down your soundholes, this band is a little nugget of musical genius. You've never heard anything like it. Which means you haven't really heard much music. No matter, this is a classic, you're SURE of it. Really sure. I mean Limousine is like about a car crash and shit. It's fuckin' deep man. And Jesse Lacey has, like, the best lyrics ever. Remember when he was talking about drugs and silver plates? Aw man that was dope. Bottom line is TDAG is the best album ever and the only people who disagree with you are the people who've listened to more than 40 albums in their life.
3Thrice

You're a diverse listener. I mean they go from loud loud loud to soft. And they have this one song (I'm not kidding) where it goes from metallic post hardcore riffage to PIANO omg. And this one album they did it was just all soft. It was about air and earth. And all the songs were to do with air or earth. See? Theyre FUCKING GENIUSES. And they also released this album that was just alt-rock. I don't even know how a band can be that talented. I mean have you fucking heard of a band doing hardcore metally shit then slow lalala shit then fucking alt rock? DIDN?T FUCKING THINK SO FUCK. Youre the kinda guy who likes technicality along with songwriting and lyric writing skills. You like better music than people and can even listen to screamy vocals! But not too many. But some.
4Opeth

These guys are the best band ever to walk the face of the earth. Mikael Akerfeldt deserves to be honoured with every award possible for his services to humankind through music. They can do no wrong. Even repeating the same riff for 80 minutes is fine when you wield the mighty sword of Akerfeldt. You shun most other metal. Psh who needs Slayer, they don't have pretty acoustic interludes where Opeth touches your very soul. The best thing about Opeth is they're progressive, which automatically makes them better than other metal, which is for losers with bad taste. I mean Opeth has loud AND soft parts. And theyre a METAL band. Crazy. In their last two albums they had KEYBOARDS. I mean seriously! Keyboards! When will the innovation end? Only death metal band I can listen to. Brutal but beautiful. Brutiful. Listening to these guys means you know more about music than anyone who doesn't listen to them. Especially metalheads.
5Deftones

These guys are kinda like nu-metal but they're better because they have ATMOSPHERE. Clearly just melody is just bullshit to be listened to by the moronic and the uncultured. Their vocalist can scream but he can also sing. Can other vocalists do that? I don't think so. All his lyrics are dick-wettingly awesome. Yeah that one song they have about british people liking buttsex may seem stupid but it's a METAPHOR for modern society. Not many other bands have edgy metaphors in their music. They?re also cool because sometimes they leave letters out of song titles like "Knife Prty" or they spell them wrong. It means theyre using artistic license which means fuck you they're geniuses. Which is why you listen to Deftones. You like bands that can pump you up with pump up songs but that can be really mellow with mellow songs. You're too artsy for other nu-metal bands. If there's no atmosphere or passion or emoshun in the lyrics that connects with you on a deep level then fuck it. It's not worth your time.
6Neutral Milk Hotel

His lyrics are really weird, but that means theyre good. If you don't like his lyrics you just don't GET them and fail at music. His voice isn't bad, it's PASSIONATE. You love buying pants then shrinking them yourself. You probably drink lattes, but you add a lot of sugar so you can't taste the coffee taste. You love listening to a friend's ipod then namedropping about 40 obscure indie bands to make yourself feel musically informed, even though probably 40 of those bands suck ass. It's ok, it's not like anyone's going to listen to any of them and call you out on it.
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