americanohno
Star-Spangled Kid
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Album Edits 742

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Last Active 04-14-14 10:52 am
Joined 09-20-09

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Various Athletic Competitions Ranked

Using Advanced scientific metrics of true subjectivity Sputnikmusic.com user American L. Ohno will rank (from best to worst) the various 'sports' one can catch on TV. This will be the first in a series of lists Mr. American L. Ohno will put to the test his patented metric, ASMTS (pronounced 'ass-mats'). Next up one Dr. American L. Ohno* will use ass-mats to rank the quality at the various craft brews available for purchase at Billy Blueblood's Liquor, Spirits, & Tobacco.
1The Baseball Project
Volume 1: Frozen Ropes and Dying Quails


MLB Baseball - AssMats Rating 224.7
2John McCutcheon
Sermon on the Mound


MiLB Baseball - AssMats Rating 219.1
3The Black Angels
The Black Angels


Professional Baseball Not Affiliated W/ ML Orginizations - AssMats Rating 216.6
4Yo La Tengo
I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One


College Baseball - AssMats Rating 216.5
5Pavement
Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain


Little League Baseball - AssMats Rating 199.2 Note: I know of no high school baseball game that's broadcast nationwide which is why it's omitted from this list. Also yh I know no Non-Amatuer baseball leagues un-affiliated with the MLB aren't broadcast either but I didn't think of that 'till too late, so it's included.
6Deadstring Brothers
Starving Winter Report


Billiards - AssMats Rating 196.3
7 The Dream Syndicate
The Days Of Wine & Roses


Speedskating - AMR 191.9
8Simple Minds
The Best of Simple Minds


NASCAR - AMR 186.5
9Johnny Cash
Murder


Marathon Running - AMR 174.3
10Little Feat
Sailin' Shoes


Archery - AMR 169.9
11American Football
American Football


Strongest Man Competitions - AMR 165.4
12Strong Arm Steady
In Search of Stoney Jackson


NFL Football - AMR 165.1
13 Football, Etc
Away Game 7"


High School Football - AMR 158.8
14Fine Young Cannibals
The Finest


Hot Dog Eating Competition - AMR 158.0
15Hoobastank
Basketball Shorts


NBA Basketball AMR 156.6 March Madness AMR 155.5
16Swamp Thing
Swamp Thing


Swamp Axin' - AMR 132.7
17The Dickheaded Fucks
...


Hockey - AMR 126.4
18Oxymoron
Fuck The Nineties...Here's Our Noize


That Red Bull Thing Where People Jump Off a Ledge With Wings Made Of Aluminum Foil, Tinsel, and Tampons Strapped to their Backs - AMR 112.1
19Lets Go Bowling
Music to Bowl By


Bowling - AMR 110.1
20Beerbong
Fast and Comfortable


Beer Pong - AMR 89.4 Well it should be televised, I guess it'd be better than "Hole in the Wall"* which AMRs at 74.5 Wipeout AMRs at 245 the second highest total, coming in behind only Competitive Orgy.
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