wyankeif1337
Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration
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My Coach Is A Badass

a sampling of quotes from Coach Patrick (rowing coach)
1Mogwai
Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will


on going faster: "Picture Trevor is a pile of shit and you are trying to get away from his as fast as possible."
2Decoder
Decoder


"Your other left fuckface."
3The Antlers
Hospice


On Henry, the biggest douche in the known universe (AKA the Fiend King, the Lord of the Goons, etc.) - "Henry, you might as well just wear a beanie that says "douchebag" right across your forehead."
4Steve Von Till
A Grave Is a Grim Horse


dude walks in with a fat hicky: "hey Ryan how about we hook up this vacuum cleaner to your neck and see if that gives you a big enough hicky."------------- five minutes later when sam walks in with a huge hicky on his neck...------------- "I'm going to teach you guys a lesson about getting hickies. Everyone give me fifty push ups and we will do push ups every day until they are gone."
5Scott Kelly
The Wake


after a shitty practice: "So there was one time when i was coaching my college guys and we were seat racing. for some reason they were acting like you guys were today so i picked up an oar and started whacking the hell out of the motor on the launch until i cracked the top part." (the launch is what the coach follow the boats on)
6Threnos
By Blood and By Earth


"aren't gingers not supposed to absorb sunlight?"
7Aldrlag
Demo


"It's great to wake up in the morning and know you're fucking awesome."
8Modern Life Is War
Witness


"Make your rowing so beautiful that i will stay single for ever. make your rowing more beautiful than women"
9Kylesa
Spiral Shadow


"b boat needs to have more fun. you guys are never going to date with your personalities. you have personalities like kids who sit at home on Saturday nights playing video games [[or making lists on sputnik]]. and you can't even play online because you have no friends"
10Callisto
Providence


"Now imagine that for each stroke you're reaching back with your oar to push a mermaid in front of you so you can rate them. Now don't kill her with the oar, gently but quickly push her so you can see her. Wait, oh no. She's only a 2. ON TO THE NEXT ONE!"
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