Charmander Jones.....The U.

Reviews 213
Approval 98%

Soundoffs 207
News Articles 311
Band Edits + Tags 371
Album Edits 1,260

Album Ratings 2312
Objectivity 77%

Last Active 07-02-15 1:57 pm
Joined 05-20-07

Forum Posts 18
Review Comments 45,725

12.01.15 Last Team Standing11.29.15 Hungover
11.28.15 Stay Blessed11.24.15 Don't Stop Believing
11.20.15 POW!!11.15.15 Cam Newton
11.11.15 Brace Yourselves!11.10.15 A Douchebag's Gym Playlist
11.08.15 NFC Underdogs11.03.15 M.E.T.A.L.
10.27.15 Fast Riffs10.22.15 Frostbitten
10.21.15 Media Hype10.20.15 $20
10.14.15 Swallowed Up By The Sea10.12.15 The Hourglass of Life
10.11.15 Apple Cider Iced Tea10.08.15 Starbucks Iced Lattes
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Die Antwoord + Jamaican Black Metal

Die Antwoord's ability to creep me out while simultaneously getting me to pelvic thrust coupled with some black guy wearing a hooded robe playing bedroom black metal in Jamaica is so much of a mindfuck it almost makes me forget that I haven't been on a date in 13 months.
1Die Antwoord

2Orisha Shakpana
Satanic Powers In Jamaican Hills

Opinions? Is black metal too grim for a black man to make it in the big leagues or does Varg disapprove of this race breaking shift in what is predominantly known as a white mans genre? Is it equality to all? What does Varg think of the Middles Eastern black metal scene? Does Varg wear Turtlenecks while making bad judgment calls? Are the members of Emperor still even alive? Can a Platypus be beautiful? Can a tree play checkers? Which God would win in a street fight? God, Odin, Alla, Cthulhu?
3Bolt Thrower
War Master

Is it just me or does one of the premier death metal bands of all time only have 2 reviews on sputnik, neither of which include Crusade or War Master? For shame... I am wailing in my sleep...
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