Charmander Jones.....The U.

Reviews 213
Approval 98%

Soundoffs 206
News Articles 311
Band Edits + Tags 371
Album Edits 1,260

Album Ratings 2311
Objectivity 77%

Last Active 07-02-15 1:57 pm
Joined 05-20-07

Forum Posts 18
Review Comments 45,722

11.29.15 Hungover11.28.15 Stay Blessed
11.24.15 Don't Stop Believing11.20.15 POW!!
11.15.15 Cam Newton11.11.15 Brace Yourselves!
11.10.15 A Douchebag's Gym Playlist11.08.15 NFC Underdogs
11.03.15 M.E.T.A.L.10.27.15 Fast Riffs
10.22.15 Frostbitten10.21.15 Media Hype
10.20.15 $2010.14.15 Swallowed Up By The Sea
10.12.15 The Hourglass of Life10.11.15 Apple Cider Iced Tea
10.08.15 Starbucks Iced Lattes10.06.15 News Articles
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Easiest Times I've Gotten Laid.

There are three particular stories of three skanky babes that come to mind. Bless their hearts.
1Lil B
Based Jam

Lost my virginity just before my 18th b-day by going to a party. I asked my brother's drummer's sister if she wanted to go see the paintings in the other room. Couldn't have asked for a better opener because the sex was incredible. First kiss, first dome and first penetration all in one. 10/10
Holy Diver

I passed out in the living room, which was my bedroom at the time. I woke up disoriented, somewhat drunk and annoyed at 2 am to find my brother there with two chicks with the lights on. Girl is drunk out of her mind and is telling me she loves me. I was like, ok, my roommate isn't here tonight so we'll take this to Tim's room. We bang. Next morning I'm washing my face as my roomate and his girlfriend walk into his room to find a naked chick there. Everybody's confused but I clear it all up. Shit's cool. We look for her shirt for 2 hours, can't find it, take one of my roomates shirt and give her the drive of shame home.
3Melt Banana

At a club this girl starts dancing, grinding and making out with me. Don't know her name but we're both tipsy. Take the train to pound town later on. There's another notable story of fucking a really ugly fat girl sober that doesn't even qualify on the scale of 1-10. But that's for another time.
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