Tools For Combating Zombies |
1 | Gary Cooper's Bone Dust
Which I proceed to mix with weed and smoke up, granting me super ultimate powers of badassery |
2 | Blunderbusses
Set up a line of six hundred blunderbusses complete with acid bullets designed to wipe out the opening wave of zombies. Carry two blunderbusses complete with bayonets and speakers blasting ABBA across my back at all times. |
3 | Sleeveless Chainmail
To look dead sexy and to show off the guns while turning some once alive women's head into pumpkin mash |
4 | Simo Hayha's Bones
I fasten the bones, Gary Cooper's bone dust and various layers of dynamically light chainmail to create the most legendarily impenetrable armor. |
5 | MRE'S
Niggas gotta eat. |
6 | Boba Fett's Wrist Gauntlets
Flamethrower, poison gas, rocket launcher, laser blaster and grappling device. |
7 | Baraka's Forearm Blades
Which emerge from my gauntlets. Formidable melee combat accessories. |
8 | Immortal's Spiked Shinguards
Self Explanatory |
9 | Ryan Gosling's Scalp
For good luck |
10 | Customized Panzer Tank
With 6 V-12 engines, multiple laser cannons and turrets, a reflective shield, flying capabilities and four Harpie ladies with Morgan Freeman voices defending the exteriors with their long range weaponry. |
11 | Twilight Ultimate Compilation
Every single one of these tearjerkers, to keep us honest and human as we falcon punch what used to be our grandmothers. |
12 | 17 Barrels of Danish imported Mead
So we can twerk to a decapitated but completely reanimated Miley Cyrus. |
13 | 50 Tons of Icelandic Milk Chocolate.
So fucking good |
14 | A harem of Customized Ukranian Hookers
TITS!!!!! Made by the gods of art, the Chapman brothers. |
15 | A Battle Walrus, A Battle Hippo and a Charizard.
Enhanced by science and metal, the battle walrus and hippo provide immense water support in terms of offense, defense and a possible escape route. Charizard is my man up top, flaming those undead pricks Pittsburgh style. |
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