Masochist
El. Psy. Congroo.
User

Reviews 7
Approval 97%

Soundoffs 46
News Articles 47
Band Edits + Tags 44
Album Edits 106

Album Ratings 521
Objectivity 69%

Last Active 08-25-14 11:13 am
Joined 04-30-07

Forum Posts 25
Review Comments 8,039

 Lists
07.02.14 1994 = G.o.a.t.01.15.14 The Legendary Roots: A Ranking
12.20.13 Proggy Alt-rock11.17.13 Your Most Played Albums
11.02.13 Dst: Fall Back!10.17.13 New Failure Album
09.23.13 Best Hip-hop Collab Album?09.02.13 Former Favorite Albums
08.30.13 Sputnik Fantasy Football Teams06.27.13 Your New Pie Chart
06.24.13 Your Headphones05.06.13 Mediafire Being Silly
01.31.13 Masochist Does The Hip-hop Thing Again.11.29.12 Humble Thq Bundle
11.24.12 Sputnik Hip-hop11.21.12 Hip-hop Beats Ranked (redux)
11.04.12 Fall Back08.26.12 A Quarter-Century Old
More »

Sputnik 101

Our site and userbase can be intimidating to new members, so I rthought that maybe I'd create ra sort-of primer to help them rassimilate into the community. Hope it helps.
1The Black Keys
Thickfreakness


CHOOSE A PICTURE - The first thing you have to do is choose a picture for yourself. Remember, this is the internet, so the picture you choose doesn't have to be the real you...in fact, if you're joining this site, chances are you want the exact OPPOSITE of the real you. That's why this is step is so important. Will you paint a picture of yourself as an unscrupulous troll who doesn't give a shit about anyone? Will you be an elitist fuck who is the end-all, be all of a particular genre that you really have no clue about? Will you be a metal-loving transgender thing? It doesn't matter...here, you can be whoever you think the userbase will believe you to be.
2BT
ESCM


MAKE A NAME - Right after choosing your picture, you have to make a name for yourself. There are plenty of ways you can do this--you could post homo-erotic pictures in comments, choose one user and constantly pick fights with them for no reason whatsoever, be female, etc....anything and everything that you can do that will make your name known on Sputnik, because make no mistake, that's the only reason you're here.
3The Butterfly Effect
Imago


CREATE A LIST - This is probably the feature that convinced you to join, so you'll probably want to take advantage of it ASAP. There are two rules of list-making--#1: don't create more than one list per day, and #2: don't make a list about music. Lists are for giving your opinions on anything and everything else--movies, games, books, religion, other Sputnik users, sports, your triflin' ass girl/boyfriend, the pathetic state of your life, it doesn't matter...as long as it's not about music, 'cause that shit's boring. And be sure to pay attention to other people's lists, so that you can make the exact same list except in a different order.
4K.M.D.
Black Bastards


GIVE RATINGS - Of people. This is the main function of making lists. Sputnik LOOOOVES hearing about who your favorite users are, or all the beef you have with that one user who makes every waking minute of your life a living hell. The userbase thrives on being included in anything, even if the list was made by a person who they have never interacted with before. Just be careful: despite the fact that there are 50,000 (fake) members here, people will still complain if they aren't one of the 20 or so on your list.
5Pushmonkey
Pushmonkey


REVIEW - One of the most notable things you can do as a site member is to review other people's music tastes and compare them to your own. If they match, give them props. If they tend to like even one damn album that you hate, then you know that their entire philosophy on music is moot, and you have to call them out on it. Adopt a "Zero-Tolerance" policy when it comes to liking music that you don't enjoy yourself, because musical diversity is fucking scary.
6Rabbit Junk
REframe


GIVE YOUR OPINIONS ON MUSIC - ...and make sure the opinion you give is the exact same as everyone else's opinion. This is the best way to assimilate into the community. Make notice of bands that are becoming popular, and take into account bands that were at one time popular but have fallen out of grace with the community, and change your opinions accordingly. If you're not on top of your game, you could be on the wrong side of a negative review, and once one person has you in their sight, EVERYONE will be joining on the "PLEASE KILL YOURSELF" bandwagon (because forming an opinion is a group effort).
7Tenacious D
Rize of the Fenix


POST ON THE FORUMS - HA! Bitch please.
8Thievery Corporation
The Mirror Conspiracy


BE ACTIVE ON THE SITE - All the time. Be on this site every waking minute. Live and breath Sputnik. If there's a hot topic that's gained 50 comments in 15 minutes, you damn well better have made 45 of them. If there's a midnight call to Turntable or Tinychat, you better have your music and/or webcam ready to go. Understand: when you become a member of Sputnikmusic, you forfeit the rest of your life, because if you don't, you'll have to log off, and fuck, that's the worst possible thing. Besides...the outside world is scary, full of people who have well-rounded interests and interesting personalities, and girls. On Sputnik, you're safe. On Sputnik, you can actually have something resembling friendships. On Sputnik, you know every single thing you could possibly know about a person simply by the way they post in comments and lists. When you become a well-known, respected person on this site, it becomes your home. It becomes your world. It becomes your life, or second life, or third life (depending on which number alt. you're using). Rest assured, Sputnik will never, ever, EVER let you down. Except when it's down. Then you're on your own.
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