Snide: Is Porn Bad For Relationships?

Snide 03.18.17	Sputnik is mostly male, so the bias might be a little skewed but I figured I'd ask anyways.
Snake. 03.18.17	was expecting this to be another one of those alts
Snide 03.18.17	@Snake: Is that guy still making those lists nonstop? I haven't been on Sputnik as much lately because of work.
Chortles 03.18.17	what kind of sex are you having to these albums
Snide 03.18.17	@Chortles: Well none lately because I'm on a two year dry spell (RIP my dick)
Chortles 03.18.17	RIP
Tunaboy45 03.18.17	As long as you don't expect to last as long as guys in porn and you don't have ridiculous expectations I don't think so. That stuff about wanting to fuck another woman is nonsense. I don't really have sex to music, did it to RHCP- Scar Tissue once and Bjork- Hyperballad though and that was in a car.
CalculatingInfinity 03.18.17	what kind of sex are you having to these albums [2] Pointless list because: 1. Sput is a sausage fest, so an unbiased conversation won't occur. 2. It completely differs relationship to relationship, she should talk with him and stop tip toeing about it.
EyesWideShut 03.18.17	the girl is clearly an insecure idiot.. like would she feel better if he was just jerking off to pics of her ?
AsleepInTheBack 03.18.17	idk, I think it is probably bad for the way you think (more of a subconscious thing, and I can really place how it would be bad or why, possible more alters your perception of women/relationships in some vague way, idk), hence why I keep flirting with stopping watching, but I think the argument that watching porn makes you want to fuck other people is wrong for sure yeah
butcherboy 03.18.17	no, it doesn't.. lot of unnecessary repression flying around about it.. they should be watching it together really..
Snide 03.18.17	I get that porn may change the way some people look at women in the back of their head, but it's not like watching a filmed, edited, yet still somehow low-res porn recording will cause someone to want to fuck someone else. It screams insecurity. Personally, I prefer reading porn instead of watching it.
hal1ax 03.18.17	there is no one correct answer. it depends on the relationship. if him watching porn makes her uncomfortable, then he shouldn't watch it. case closed
Snide 03.18.17	"there is no one correct answer. it depends on the relationship. if him watching porn makes her uncomfortable, then he shouldn't watch it. case closed" Wouldn't that make her controlling then? (Would be the same way if he wouldn't be comfortable with her watching porn), it's porn, not another person.
EyesWideShut 03.18.17	so he should just masturbate to the wallpaper of his bathroom instead of watching a girl on his computer haha.. porn is probably keeping him from wanting to really fuck someone else..
UndineParty 03.18.17	"The last five albums I've had sex to songs from. Call Me Master Backseat Serenade" You can't be serious lol
DoofusWainwright 03.18.17	This list is a little too close to the bone
TheSpaceMan 03.18.17	" if him watching porn makes her uncomfortable, then he shouldn't watch it. case closed" Disagree hard they should talk and work it out and cum to a conclusion that doesn't involve a one sided victory
Snide 03.18.17	@Undine: Why would my song choices not be serious? I genuinely enjoy those songs, and so did my partner at the time.
grannypantys 03.18.17	serial. Maybe he should stop watching porn if it is the right decision for their relationship but don't automatically defer to the girl's opinion.
Gwyn. 03.18.17	Not really, but at the same time kind of yeah It kind of the depends on the type of people in the relationship. The person watching the porn might just be looking for a way to jack off while they don't have their partner at their side and nothing more, but they could very well be feeling the desire to fuck other people and this could just be validating their desire. On the other hand, the person upset about it might be faced with the case of the latter and might have a reason to get worked up over it, or they might not and are simply seeing things that aren't there. It comes at least partially from how they feel about themselves - usually people upset about it feel as though their partner is telling them that they're not good enough, like the case you mentioned, so it might be an issue that comes from them and something they should look to fixing not just for the relationship but also for themselves. In the end it just depends, but in theory no, it shouldn't affect it, and in most cases it doesn't - My gf has a blog that's like 60% porn and I don't really care at all, my own blog is like even more porn heavy lol - Not to mention I would expect most people to not be retarded enough to think they can just go to a random bar and find themselves a double d or a 10 incher
guitarded_chuck 03.18.17	was expecting this to be another one of those alts [2]
alienobserver 03.18.17	why are you the way that you are
UndineParty 03.18.17	Idk its hilarious to me As far as the actual question is concerned I think it's entirely up to the two individuals in said relationship Because then we're diving into a deeper question... does porn alter the mind when consumed? Why exactly is it seen as problematic? Do violent t.v. shows cause real violence? I say no, as long as it doesn't alter your perspective on women etc etc
Snide 03.18.17	"why are you the way that you are" Well I mean, there's a lot of reasons that I am the way that I am. My environment, the way I was raised, the people I grew up around, etc.
guitarded_chuck 03.18.17	if a girl actually cared about me watching porn id probably just laugh and then not talk to her again could you be more lame
Tunaboy45 03.18.17	it's 2017 everyone watches porn
alienobserver 03.18.17	i'd pull up some sasha grey and make eye contact while beating it
LoLifant 03.18.17	"List is the last five albums I've had sex to songs from" looking at the list...wtf. better not tell us how old the girls were lol
guitarded_chuck 03.18.17	anyone else ever bang on chaturbate i did the like a month ago with this freak
bakkermaarten007 03.18.17	Well, given that porn increases the amount of stimuli needed to climax, it has an effect on your sexual life. Also, knows your getting off on other women, it might decrease her self-confidence, which in turn might lead to a less intimate relationship or a grudge. And many studies also show that porn has the effect on the male brain to objectify women more easily. Which, I think is true. So, all in all: I think the answer is a definite yes. And while I try to stop watching it, boredom makes me indulge many times.
hal1ax 03.18.17	you guys act like her reaction is unwarranted and that the situation should be malleable in a way where he can continue jacking off to whatever he wants cuz it's just meaningless 'stimulation'. a) it's desensitizing b) no one "needs" porn in order to be stimulated c) it may seem irrational or unnecessary to you but that kind of unilateral behavior can easily galvanize feelings of inferiority in the other person. you say "controlling" but to me if feels like a semi-reasonable request, and not doing it or not trying to find some kind of compromise to me feels selfish
guitarded_chuck 03.18.17	"And many studies also show that porn has the effect on the male brain to objectify women more easily. Which, I think is true." i watch porn and play gta i now punch girls and run people over
talktothehead 03.18.17	Snide's had sex? Damn never though i'd be jealous of snide wow
bakkermaarten007 03.18.17	Her objection to her boyfriend's behaviour is not unreasonable at all. People, men and women, feel entitled to too much 'leeway' nowadays. And then they are surprised that the relationship fails or that they can't make an effort when it is declining to steer it back on course. A sign of our times.
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	I think we can all agree bvb is most likely worse for relationships than porn
EphemeralEternity 03.18.17	it def gave me high standards i.e irl you've sometimes gotta settle for less than the tall blue eyed blonde busty European girl.
UndineParty 03.18.17	I think if it seriously messes with the girls head and you really want to be with her you should stop watching porn, if you can't you got a problem.
Gwyn. 03.18.17	"Snide's had sex? Damn never though i'd be jealous of snide wow" With his supposed soundtracks, you shouldn't
guitarded_chuck 03.18.17	you guys are too generous that just sounds immature and lame to me
Gwyn. 03.18.17	"you say "controlling" but to me if feels like a semi-reasonable request, and not doing it or not trying to find some kind of compromise to me feels selfish" and the other method isn't selfish? she's getting her way in one method, he gets his way in another, and he's the only one who has to do a sacrifice
Snide 03.18.17	"I think if it seriously messes with the girls head and you really want to be with her you should stop watching porn, if you can't you got a problem." But then what else would mess with her head, it's a slippery slope of manipulation that fucks with the balance in a relationship and gives her too much control in an unhealthy way. If she gets jealous over recordings of random people on the internet, how is she going to react to you having female friends?
Cryptkeeper 03.18.17	"https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/" http://imgur.com/a/t6a0n When masturbation is wrong but circlejerking is encouraged, Jesus Christ
adr 03.18.17	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URsBIb0hRmk
Gwyn. 03.18.17	I wonder how many would take her side if she was the one who had to quit watching porn
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	quality contribution ars
ArsMoriendi 03.18.17	But seriously, what the actual fuck? Why would anyone make a list about this on Sputnik?
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	why are you alive
Snide 03.18.17	"I wonder how many would take her side if she was the one who had to quit watching porn" I would, especially considering one of my ex's ran a porn blog on Tumblr.
guitarded_chuck 03.18.17	"But then what else would mess with her head, it's a slippery slope of manipulation that fucks with the balance in a relationship and gives her too much control in an unhealthy way." yuppppppppppppppppppppppppppp without sounding like too big of a douche- letting shit like that go is beta af
ArsMoriendi 03.18.17	"why are you alive" That'd be a better topic for a thread than "Is Porn Bad For Relationships?" by a light year
adr 03.18.17	thread is too dirty for ars
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	are you legit dense
Snide 03.18.17	I think the bottom line is; if you don't trust your partner to be faithful just because he / she watches actors and actresses bone on camera, your relationship has much deeper issues that getting rid of porn isn't gonna fix.
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	thanks six what would we do without you
Snake. 03.18.17	smae
Snide 03.18.17	Holy shit six
ArsMoriendi 03.18.17	"are you legit dense" Aren't you the kid who said you might drop out of high school because economics class was too hard?
Snake. 03.18.17	http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1089166
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	yes, now I'm the kid who just graduated high school. I say a lot of shit. you're ACTUALLY dense.
Trebor. 03.18.17	It depends on your relationship to porn I don't really watch porn or masturbate when I'm in a relationship because it sucks compared to sex I think if you're like actively seeking out a fantasy of being with someone else while watching porn that could be an issue, but if you just really need to get your rocks off and your partner isn't around then whatever
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	for once treb says something of worth
bakkermaarten007 03.18.17	Wow, sixdegrees. I don't understand much of it, but wow
hal1ax 03.18.17	"I think the bottom line is; if you don't trust your partner to be faithful just because he / she watches actors and actresses bone on camera, your relationship has much deeper issues that getting rid of porn isn't gonna fix." and if you cannot give up porn in the wake of your partners discomforted reaction to it, then YOU have much deeper issues
ArsMoriendi 03.18.17	"you're ACTUALLY dense." The "ACTUALLY" really proves your point lol But seriously, asking for relationship help on a place like this is almost as bad as asking for it on 4chan
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	good thing this isn't a relationship help thread yea?
ArsMoriendi 03.18.17	It might as well be since Snide's going to probably use ideas from these responses to argue with his friend about her relationship lol
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	lmao log off
Snide 03.18.17	"It might as well be since Snide's going to probably use ideas from these responses to argue with his friend about her relationship lol" The argument ended, I just wanted to get additional perspective from multiple people in case I ever had to argue about something like this again.
ArsMoriendi 03.18.17	"in case I ever had to argue about something like this again." My point has been proven
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	no it hasn't dipshit
ArsMoriendi 03.18.17	Yeah it has, Snide's actually going to use advice from Sputnikmusic for future arguments about relationships lol
Snide 03.18.17	@Ars: Of course I'm going to use advice from a collective of different people with different opinions about a situation. There were some wonderful serious posts in this thread that have given me additional perspective, you're acting as though every post in this thread is poison.
Snake. 03.18.17	why is he asking for relationship advice anyway isn't he married?
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	are you illiterate
SteveOffProbation 03.18.17	LOL
AsleepInTheBack 03.18.17	Yeah agreed, Sput isnt the safest place to talk personal stuff, but there are lots of chill people here giving their honest and generally helpful opinions
Snide 03.18.17	This thread's actually been really tame for the most part, and the opinions given here on both sides for the most part have been relatively thought out and I'm happy to get both sides of the spectrum on this issue.
Titan 03.18.17	'Is Porn Bad For Relationships?' If you have a small cock, definitely
GeorgeWBush 03.18.17	No.
Sinternet 03.18.17	Imma agree with what hal said Also there's a fine line between occasionally watching porn and doing it everyday for example which is kinda weird. Generally though if she's uncomfortable with it then like surely you would stop doing it? I mean not knowing who this guy is I can't really judge their character but I would assume most people would rather have a stable healthy relationship than watch porn given the choice.
Snide 03.18.17	"I would assume most people would rather have a stable healthy relationship than watch porn given the choice." Most people aged 18-25 have no idea what a stable, healthy relationship actually is.
TheSpaceMan 03.18.17	i mean if the compromise isnt a big deal then yeah go for it, but tbh 2 hours apart in a relationship where one person feels threatened by masturbating and asks you to stop entirely isn't the most stable relationship to begin with. but yeah porn isnt good to abuse and if he's able to just drop it without thought then obv her mental health is more important. it just feels a bit manipulative to play the mental health card like that and expect catering to it and not think of the benefits it provides for him. basically either side makes sense and just fucking talk about it lol
UndineParty 03.18.17	"Most people aged 18-25 have no idea what a stable, healthy relationship actually is." yet people make it seem like the most important thing to be doing at that age lol
JeetJeet 03.18.17	That girl you were arguing with sounds insecure about her relationship.
Snide 03.18.17	"yet people make it seem like the most important thing to be doing at that age lol" That's because most people at that age have no clue what life is or what the fuck they're doing with it, I'm only 23 (almost 24) and still have no idea what the hell my life is gonna lead up to. I've got the building blocks of a career, a good group of friends, and multiple hobbies that I enjoy. Eventually there'll come a point in life where I'll feel the need to be in a relationship, now isn't that time.
JeetJeet 03.18.17	“anyone else ever bang on chaturbate" Lmao. When chatroulette was poppin me and an old flame would fuck around on that while hooking up. She had a thing for being watched.
UndineParty 03.18.17	all i know is having a bunch of bastard children aint going to help the situation i've seen it too many times
zakalwe 03.18.17	There's nothing more satisfying then having a wank over simulated, synthetic baseless smut. Enriches the soul. Who needs sensual, organic, 'real' love. Doesn't mean a thing in this day and age. Don't interact with anyone. Don't know how to. Upload and unload for eternity.
TVC15 03.18.17	Watch the movie Don Jon. All you'll ever need to know on this topic
Snide 03.18.17	Why do people think that having children will save a relationship / marriage? I've never understood how a sane, rational person could think that adding an additional super high stress factor onto an already breaking bond won't sever it entirely.
Rsetness9 03.18.17	Of course its bad for relationships - it is an intrusion to the exclusive sexual relationship that should only be shared in marriage. Unfortunately this society is not sensible enough to even properly recognize the institution of marriage as the valuable union it is.
zakalwe 03.18.17	Nobody thinks like that. Anyone who does needs to be sterilised tbh.
JeetJeet 03.18.17	Lmao she sees her dude once a week and expects him NOT to watch porn? Naaah this chick is goofy. She's better off dating a robot.
Rsetness9 03.18.17	"Who needs sensual, organic, 'real' love. Doesn't mean a thing in this day and age. Don't interact with anyone. Don't know how to. Upload and unload for eternity." This is a pretty good snapshot of our culture actually.
JeetJeet 03.18.17	“Upload and unload” needs to be put on a shirt.
Orb 03.18.17	Depends on the relationship. Ive had relationships where watching porn together was fun and casual. I mean we kinda swung too so porn was pretty kosher by comparison. Has more to do with chemistry an imaginary moral high ground that people imply as some kind of universal institution.
MillionDead 03.18.17	The idea of anyone having sex to any of this music really hurts. That said, you seem chill Malachite. I really think insecurity is the issue when porn comes into the picture and someone isn't okay with it (provided it isn't actually just being watched too much). I feel like most people participate in it and that's okay. It's not real.
rodrigo90 03.18.17	You have sex while listening to black veil brides? I'm paying you a visit to your house...tonight....with a grenade launcher
zaruyache 03.18.17	"And many studies also show that porn has the effect on the male brain to objectify women more easily. Which, I think is true." porn is often highly misogynistic and male-oriented, so this isn't surprising, but it seems more like a chicken/egg scenario; where these guys made this way because of the porn they watched, or were they already pretty cruddy men and this is just realized after asking them about how they view women?
MillionDead 03.18.17	Blood on the Dance Floor is more glaring in my eyes. Nothing screams sexy like "This singer probably wrote this song about 15 year old girls."
hal1ax 03.18.17	ya space i 100% agree with your last post. both sides have pitfalls and validity.
Snide 03.18.17	@Million: Most people do participate in it in some way, shape or form (reading, watching, etc). Even when people masturbate without external stimulation, they're more than likely still picturing something in their head which technically is the same thing.
Demon of the Fall 03.18.17	People are bad for relationships. Porn is just a thing which can be overcome by any working relationship, like anything really...
8genre 03.18.17	First of all I don't see how this is your problem snide so best to stay out of it. Second it depends on the people in the relationship (as others have said.) They need to talk it through. If they decide he has to quit that isn't manipulation, and it isn't giving her power. People need to compromise in a healthy relationship and I'm sure there are dozens of things she needed to compromise with him about that you don't know about. And this sure isn't the only thing he might have to compromise on. Is that an unhealthy relationship? I don't think so.
MillionDead 03.18.17	Yeah, it really does come down to the relationship itself and communication within, but as far as things to compromise on, I don't think casual consumption of porn is usually something to bat an eye at.
Tyler. 03.18.17	I've been on a 3 day meth fueled porn bender someone help me
Snide 03.18.17	"I've been on a 3 day meth fueled porn bender someone help me" Did you try turning the computer off and on again?
zakalwe 03.18.17	The wife came in unannounced whilst I was smashing myself up the arse with a dildo. I mean proper going for it, it was fucking well horny. I was just at the moment of climax blowing my beans over National Geographic photos of dolphins. After the initial shock we discussed the matter and I said I didn't want to feel marginalised by her single minded view of marriage subjugating erotic stimulation. I found my safeplace (place or space? I always forget :D) and she's now knitting me a flag.
Snide 03.18.17	What does your flag look like zak?
zakalwe 03.18.17	Dolphin grey obvs. It's more like an airfield windsock than a flag though.
UndineParty 03.18.17	What is it about dolphins you find so arousing? Their intelligence?
zakalwe 03.18.17	Porpoiseophobe
MillionDead 03.18.17	It's the 9in dicks, I'm sure of it.
Demon of the Fall 03.18.17	At least dolphins garner pleasure from sexual intercourse, that's kind of sexy!
hobblepot 03.18.17	This is the worst sex mix I've ever seen, this looks more like a playlist you'd have on in the car whilst your parents drive you and your girl who is a friend to McDonalds for a "date"
ConcubinaryCode 03.18.17	She sounds insecure and should've talked to her bf about it. Its perfectly normal to watch porn and rub one out. Tell her to stop being dumb
betray 03.18.17	I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH
Snide 03.18.17	"This is the worst sex mix I've ever seen" What's wrong with getting frisky to BVB? If you enjoy having sex to music you enjoy, what's wrong with that?
betray 03.18.17	everything you tool
JWT155 03.18.17	I'm in the US and my gf is currently working abroad in Singapore. She knows and doesn't mind me watching porn. I get pics and stuff from her becuase she would much prefer me jerking it to her then say porn, but she knows it's ridiculous for me not to watch porn while she's so far away. The real issue would be if when we're together I would prefer to watch porn and jerk it then be intimate with her.
Azertherion 03.18.17	Choose one : -This thread -Faith in humanity
Snide 03.18.17	"everything you tool" See, I use condoms so my tool stays fresh as a morning breeze.
zakalwe 03.18.17	Anyone who wanks over pics of their missus has got some serious issues.
betray 03.18.17	- snide logs out permanently
JWT155 03.18.17	I think your friend is being ridiculous. Literally 95% of guys watch porn, and the other 5% are probably lying about it, and it's not making us go out and cheat and be ravenous sex machines who have no morals. Did you ask her if she has any sex toys and if she uses them when they're apart? I think that can be a much more dangerous precedent then porn.
Jots 03.18.17	"Anyone who wanks over pics of their missus has got some serious issues." tried once, never fully recovered
betray 03.18.17	"See, I use condoms so my tool stays fresh as a morning breeze" thank fuck for that the thought of you reproducing makes me nauseous
Snide 03.18.17	"thank fuck for that the thought of you reproducing makes me nauseous" I mean I nearly was a dad once, but thankfully that didn't happen. I don't plan on having a son / daughter until I'm in my 30s
Demon of the Fall 03.18.17	"Anyone who wanks over pics of their missus has got some serious issues." Agreed, surely you have a wank bank?! No need for a pic.
UndineParty 03.18.17	"Did you ask her if she has any sex toys and if she uses them when they're apart? I think that can be a much more dangerous precedent then porn." Elaborate
Snide 03.18.17	Why would using toys be relevant here?
zakalwe 03.18.17	'Toys' used in the context of sex seems bloody wrong to me. What toys did you get this year? Oh you know usual board games Operation, Monopoly along with some anal beads from uncle frank and auntie Sharon.
ZippaThaRippa 03.18.17	I jerk off to both porn and nudes of my so-called 'missus.' Yeah I'm a serial murderer but I don't see how that's related
hal1ax 03.18.17	that is definitely a good point, jwt. i agree that watching porn, even on a frequent basis, isn't necessarily immoral or crass or insensitive, but i think sometimes people's opposition toward their partners porn excursions stem from more of a psychological place. i had an ex-gf a while back who would get insecure and uncomfortable and self-deprecatory when i watched it. over-analyzing it to the extent where she felt like my sexual energy or arousal was being channeled away from her and displaced and she was apprehensive about that spiraling into desensitization and dilution of our own sexual dynamic. and while some of her concerns were unfounded, i think it's important to understand where ur partner is coming from before dismissing their adversarial position as trivial or overwrought or baseless
JWT155 03.18.17	Feeling sexually inadequate or useless to your partner is what she's apparently feeling when her bf watches porn; the same can happen for guys. If a girls using a toy then she's doing the same as a guy watching porn, she's finding a way to get off. Men are more visual where women are not. But toys can be dangerous as well like porn can be, hell there's tons of toys out there that can flat out do things a guys dick just plain can't. What if a girl get s a new vibrator and it blows her mind, she can't get enough of it, and then realizes that sexually, her new toy pleases her more then anything her partner can do and now she refuses to be intimate with him because a battery powered vibrator has replaced him in the bedroom. I've got nothing against sex toys, if guys can watch porn the girls sure as hell use whatever they want on them to get of as well, I'm just trying to point out that her overarching argument is that her bf watching porn is making her feel inadequate and possibly replaced when it comes to sex, and that if she's using toys that a man can just as easily feel the exact same way as she does in regards to her bf watching porn. And on the more dangerous precedent, I honestly believe a man will never choose his right hand over regular sex, and if there are it's an arbitrarily small number. On the other hand, there are plenty of women who have either issues or can't cum with their partner, and a sex toy for them is far superior in giving them the sexual pleasure they need. For that reason, I think sex toys are much more of a possible threat to a couples relationship overall and in the bedroom then a man watching porn, a guy will never replace a vagina with his right hand, but many women gladly choose a toy over a dick any day of the week.
MillionDead 03.18.17	Yeah, you don't want your SO to feel dismissed. Been in that situation where a girlfriend was made insecure by porn, though. Pretty weird though, cause we bonded over how avid of watchers were before things got more serious.
JWT155 03.18.17	"that is definitely a good point, jwt. i agree that watching porn, even on a frequent basis, isn't necessarily immoral or crass or insensitive, but i think sometimes people's opposition toward their partners porn excursions stem from more of a psychological place. i had an ex-gf a while back who would get insecure and uncomfortable and self-deprecatory when i watched it. over-analyzing it to the extent where she felt like my sexual energy or arousal was being channeled away from her and displaced and she was apprehensive about that spiraling into desensitization and dilution of our own sexual dynamic. and while some of her concerns were unfounded, i think it's important to understand where ur spouse if coming from before dismissing their adversarial position as trivial or overwrought or baseless" Great points man! Honestly, if a spouse or gf has an issue with you watching porn, offer to watch it with them. I've done it with my gf, I feel like many girls misunderstand the experience and it's kinda actually a flirty way for each other to figure out what type of sexual experiences and things you enjoy and to grow your sex life, not suppress it. So in general, I think being open and honest and letting your girl better understand is key.
Storm In A Teacup 03.18.17	...
betray 03.18.17	what the fuck are these giant paragraphs all of you log out
JWT155 03.18.17	"Yeah, you don't want your SO to feel dismissed. Been in that situation where a girlfriend was made insecure by porn, though. Pretty weird though, cause we bonded over how avid of watchers were before things got more serious." Exactly, it's devastating for anyone to feel replaced, or that something's better than you to them. As long as a guy isn't using a porn or a girl is using a toy to replace their partner then I don't see an issue. If it's slowly becoming a mechanism that's replacing your partners sexual needs then it's an issue.
hal1ax 03.18.17	definitely man, i agree
MillionDead 03.18.17	I mean, I dunno about you JWT, but I'm never gonna let some toy beat me at the end of the day, so I don't think of them as inherently dangerous.
JWT155 03.18.17	Oh shit, I forgot formulating and expressing complex ideas are frowned upon here...... uhhh moar opeth
betray 03.18.17	formulating and expressing complex ideas listen to yourself tbh
JWT155 03.18.17	"I mean, I dunno about you JWT, but I'm never gonna let some toy beat me at the end of the day, so I don't think of them as inherently dangerous." I feel ya, and I'm the same way man! But there's plenty of guys who refuse to go down on a girl or are just physically incapable or doing what 12 inch vibrator dildo can do. And you inherently may do all you can to not be replaced by a sex toy, but at the end of the day it's what the girl feels and wants. And to expound on porn, I've known two married guys who prefer porn to sex with their wife. They have kids, sex rarely happens, it's a pain, they end up fighting before the foreplay even ends, they both want differing things in the bedrooms, the stress of even having sex with their wife and the grief is so much they do prefer watching porn. Thats all sorts of fucked up.
JWT155 03.18.17	"formulating and expressing complex ideas listen to yourself tbh" My bad for sounding pretentious, What I meant to say was waste my time apparently typing out more than 3 word responses.
Snide 03.18.17	"And to expound on porn, I've known two married guys who prefer porn to sex with their wife. They have kids, sex rarely happens, it's a pain, they end up fighting before the foreplay even ends, they both want differing things in the bedrooms, the stress of even having sex with their wife and the grief is so much they do prefer watching porn. Thats all sorts of fucked up." That's just depressing.
JWT155 03.18.17	Happens with more married couples than you would guess. In that case I would say porn is an issue then, but not the issue your girl friend talked about.
MillionDead 03.18.17	Yeah, I don't ever wanna be in that deep, married with someone, and having problems like that. If a guy won't go down on a girl that his problem and if she gives him head, he should definitely return the favor. lol And if the hypothetical situation where a girl is more into a toy than me arises, I'll just have to activate my vibrating extend-o action.
MyNameIsPencil 03.18.17	I'd say no because it hasn't dampened anything between your mom and I ha ha ha
UndineParty 03.18.17	"If it's slowly becoming a mechanism that's replacing your partners sexual needs then it's an issue." That's definitely an issue if used in that type of way, people shouldn't make their partners feel unwanted or inadequate but I think with good communication and both parties being secure, porn and toys can be used together to enhance their sex lives.
hal1ax 03.18.17	Ya I pretty much agree with everything you're saying jwt. Some very cogent points. I've been with some people whom seemed unwavering on the porn thing and I guess I've always just reformed my behavior to accommodate their feelings, but I think your position on trying to slowly inch the dynamic more toward a conjoining, participatory effort sounds like the healthiest solution, as opposed to just buckling under and augmenting their disdain for pornographic engagement.
dreamgazing 03.18.17	Call Me Master
JWT155 03.18.17	@UndineParty: Completely agree. A lot of the issues that arise between couple stem directly from insecurity and bad communication. It's natural to feel insecure in a relationship, your partner is making decisions you have no control over which leaves you vulnerable, it happens to all of us. You can either decide to become open, honest and trusting of each other, or become insecure, jealous, paranoid and eventually controlling. My gf is a consultant in Asia, she works with guys who make 3,4, 5 times more than I do, who own sports cars, routinely have dinners over $1,000 and that's just because it's what they do on Tuesday nights each week and do more coke then you could believe it. Trust me, it's real easy to become insecure and jealous, thinking that she may become unhappy, be tempted by everything else the guys who surround her can offer her I can't and even the idea of cheating, which is rampant in consulting, I think only 2 of the 9 married guys she works with stayed faithful with their wife while working abroad. But hey, we trust each other, we communicate very well, we're both supportive of the things we want to do, even separately, and i know she's had plenty of opportunities to date the guys who have the qualities with those of her coworkers, but she isn't, she's dating me and there's no positive reason for me to become paranoid and to worry.
JWT155 03.18.17	@hal1ax: Agreed, it's easy to become defensive and judgmental on something you do not understand or grasp. I think all couples should at some point watch porn together, specifically if one person regularly does watch porn so the other can get an accurate viewpoint of how the other person approaches it in their life.
Demon of the Fall 03.18.17	Shit got deep here... haha deep, like balls deep? Yeah, I'm funny...
Snide 03.18.17	"SunlightCityDrive" Just wanted to say you have a cool fuckin' username fam.
bakkermaarten007 03.18.17	"The wife came in unannounced whilst I was smashing myself up the arse with a dildo. I mean proper going for it, it was fucking well horny. I was just at the moment of climax blowing my beans over National Geographic photos of dolphins. After the initial shock we discussed the matter and I said I didn't want to feel marginalised by her single minded view of marriage subjugating erotic stimulation. " This thread delivered, lol
Snide 03.18.17	Thread has some pretty funny moments tbh
LethalPaintball 03.19.17	what am i doing with my life
SputnikBibleVerses 03.19.17	But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28
zakalwe 03.19.17	Matthew was a kid fiddler
wwf 03.19.17	eh porn is just one of many tools that can be misused and abused
Dedes 03.19.17	Porn isn't bad for relationships. Dumb, insecure females are. Also yeah telling us what songs you last fucked too is pretty far, don't make me regret voting you on the sputnik madness rounds.
Hawks 03.19.17	Yeah your friend sounds like a really stupid bitch.
Dedes 03.19.17	Hawks is fucking relentless haha
alienobserver 03.19.17	lmao hawks
Deschutes 03.19.17	I don't know, but I have a friend who is whipped so tightly that he's not allowed to watch porn. That would suck so hard.
Koris 03.19.17	But some say she's naive, Hawks!!!
Koris 03.19.17	Sorry, I couldn't resist it
Deschutes 03.19.17	Also Yeah your friend sounds like a really stupid bitch. [2]
Koris 03.19.17	Also, yeah, I'll continue to watch porn even when I'm in a relationship again. I've always had sex addiction issues, and porn is always a way to temporarily purge those demons for me
Dedes 03.19.17	I mean if he's masturbating to like a 9 year old in a bathing suit she'd have a right to be pissed but like men get horny and what do you do, just wait it out the whole week? Some men have a hard time getting it going without porn.
zoso33 03.19.17	if you've a realistic woman then porn won't bother her married man talking here
UndineParty 03.19.17	gettin flashbacks of hawks misogynistic facebook statuses lmao
Snide 03.19.17	"a realistic woman" wat
Astral Abortis 03.19.17	I think he perhaps means a woman who's not so insecure? Insecurity can be a terrible thing that tears trust and relationships apart. Honesty and communication are key. Porn doesn't ruin relationships, dishonesty and addiction do. Porn addiction can be a very real threat and can cause a lot of issues, but aside from that if you're open with your partner then it's really a nonissue. My ex girlfriend used to buy me porn and we'd even watch it during sex occasionally. She was also a stripper but our openness about these things made it a really easy thing.
guitarded_chuck 03.19.17	OMG DO YOU LOVE THE NAKED GIRL THAT YOUVE NEVER MET AND NEVER WILL AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT PROBABLY HAS A MULTITUDE OF ISSUES THAT LED HER TO START GETTING FUCKED ON CAMERA FOR MONEY MORE THAN ME WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO GET MAAAAARRRIEEEDDD ITS BECAUSE OF THIS PIMPLE ON MY FOREHEAD RIGHT NOW ISNT IT YOU THINK IM UGLY NOW WHY ARENT YOU HONEST WITH ME shoot me in the fuckin face
alienobserver 03.19.17	think the funniest thing ive ever experienced relating to this was having a long distance girl who was also mormon and extremely conservative sexually tell me she felt uncomfortable with me watching porn and it made her feel inadequate
ZippaThaRippa 03.19.17	wow what a bitch
Dedes 03.19.17	Why the hell date an extremely conservative woman? I'm sorry but like sex can really help strengthen a relationship plus it's just awesome.
Lord(e)Po)))ts 03.19.17	its neither here nor there. it can be good for some relationships and bad for others. in general porn is harmful for young men who don't have a lot of sexual experience as it teaches them sexual practices that are male pleasure focused and can be painful or not satisfying for women, but porn in relationships? depends.
flalafell 03.19.17	I was always cool with it, although I was in a bit of a double standard situation. My ex would watch it and I'd be cool about it but I'd watch it and my ex would get pissed at me, so it really depends on the person. I do agree that it's generally unhealthy for younger dudes and gals to watch it, if only because it teaches them things that aren't really feasible irl
Satellite 03.19.17	not gonna read the comments itt because i don't hate myself, but the answer is no.
BrickIsRed 03.20.17	You're gonna get a lot of bias here, but you knew. Yes and no. This cannot be answered except within the context of the individual relationships. Too murky to say with certainty that it is completely right or completely wrong, okay or not okay, but you yourself weigh the pros and cons and decide, like anything else, if it is something you find worth having in your life and being a part of who you are and what perspectives you decide to adopt. People generally don't like to feel bad about things that make them feel good on some level, even superficially, so I think it goes unquestioned a lot of the time as an individual. It's difficult for us to understand each other with a different set of hormones, cultural upbringing and strange danglers, and I hope we can think about how things might be under the influence of the other more empathetically on both sides when answering these kinds of questions.
Snide 03.20.17	"Long distance girl" "Mormon" Why is this so common lately
Intothepit 03.20.17	Holy shit is the thread painful.
Storm In A Teacup 03.20.17	even pit can't take it. that's a sign folks
Dedes 03.20.17	"I was always cool with it, although I was in a bit of a double standard situation. My ex would watch it and I'd be cool about it but I'd watch it and my ex would get pissed at me, so it really depends on the person. I do agree that it's generally unhealthy for younger dudes and gals to watch it, if only because it teaches them things that aren't really feasible irl" Can see why he/she's your ex lol
Papa Universe 03.21.17	Relationships are bad for porn...
bach 03.21.17	i had a similar issue with my ex about my dad peeing on me
Storm In A Teacup 03.21.17	uh what
Papa Universe 03.21.17	That's fine, everything's fine. He's just southern...ideologically.