Daniel Dias

Reviews 96
Approval 98%

Soundoffs 4
News Articles 28
Band Edits + Tags 156
Album Edits 169

Album Ratings 643
Objectivity 77%

Last Active 10-24-16 3:39 pm
Joined 04-19-13

Forum Posts 67
Review Comments 9,044

08.03.16 Sputnik Quotes - Part III07.07.16 Dan's June Digs
06.25.16 Stadium Arcadium: Post-Amputation Surge02.16.16 Favorite R.E.M. Openers
09.16.15 Back To School09.05.15 Need Ambient Recs
08.24.15 Folk Recs07.19.15 Pavement: Retrospective
12.15.14 5 Underrated Rage Songs

Sputnik Quotes - Part III

It's been almost a year since the previous lists, and since then we've had enough hilarious quotes to warrant a part 3. Just gonna copy this from the first list so that no one forgets the drill: If you're contributing please give the source of the quote if possible, and album to add to the list with it if it's from a list or personal convo. Whatever you can think of, comment here and i'll be updating. First list - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1040187&listid=161001 Second list - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1053699&listid=161115
1Laura Gibson
Empire Builder

"A commendable crew of multifaceted folkies, yes, commendable indeed -- can't say commendable creeps near really-remarkable at any time here, but it does rest rather comfortably in really-quite-pleasant. Starts strong/strongest? with the one-two friendly handshake of "The Cause" and "Damn Sure", but soon after begins to fall into sleep-mode a bit too often. But hey, kudos on the percussive nuances and the percussion in general and the capable lyricism and the striking slow-churn string-swells. The title-track also lives up to its name by building an empire impressive enough to not be eclipsed for the remainder of the album, at song #4 outta 10. But very likable, really." - some word salad of a soundoff: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=218625

"If this album is some Pale Communion 70s prog worship bs, I'll have to wake up Morningrise and cross my Orchid and all the way over the Blackwater Park and beat this guys to a goddam pulp to the point of Damnation so their souls won't be recognizable for Deliverance and their babies will all have Still Life and no more Heritage from that point on." - linkinparkforthewin being lame as usual: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=226193
3Limp Bizkit
Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog...

"Rolling: this song is one of my personal faveourites, due to the clever double meaning of the lyrics. Rolling could either mean driving a car, rolling a cigarette, making some bread, falling down a hill, trying to put yourself out when your on fire or playing zelda on the n64. Whatever the meaning I've never been able to figure it out, but still a great song 5/5" - undertakerpt's classic review: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/62677/Limp-Bizkit-Chocolate-Starfish-and-the-Hot-Dog.../
4Infant Annihilator
The Elysian Grandeval Galèriarch

""I shove my cock" *jun jun jun* "into this newborn infant's sphincter" *slap bass solo*" - jac's infant annihilator soundoff: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=223443
God Is Good

"I've looked to other master statisticians to give me feedback on my results. macman76, one of the fields leading minds, reviewed my algorithm and re-ran the data. His results were the same: "¯_(ツ)_/¯".

"the statgod, Students Ttest, prophesied that an anomaly would appear to a divinely gifted statistician and it would signal the end times... stat's don't lie, so you know it's true" -macman76

All hail The One True Prophet, Dark Lord Arcade" - Potsy being his usual self, entry 11 on the list but the whole thing is pretty funny: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1042215&listid=166720
6Kendrick Lamar
good kid, m.A.A.d city

""Religion is precisely what keeps the black community where it is." - LambsBread: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=52775&page=257#comments
7Farrah Abraham
My Teenage Dream Ended

""Yeah but if a robot wrote a song and I showed it to you and didn't tell you it was by a robot and you were like "Wow great fucking song" and I asked "Is this art?" and you'd say "sure, it's a great song" and then I'd be like "But a fucking robot wrote it" and you'd be like "Damn" - Trebor17's genius rambling:
8The Sugarcubes
Life's Too Good

"The huge downside to this album is that the second vocalist known as 'fag' really sucks and he should die." - KILL, enough said: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/51036/The-Sugarcubes-Lifes-Too-Good/
Jane Doe

"Janedoe is quiet a woman but has deep gutterball scream from hell and beyond. Music that snap the neck and is 100% pank or maybe punkmetal by type (iTunes has it as just metal tho).rI sit back and press play - then jump out of my seat it's going to be a riot in here! The start of the album is quiet heavy let me tell you. Secret of the albums success is like an old dog this band are loyal to there routes and keep pank alive at all times.rThis is probably called the worst of converge but it is still quiet good when you want to play something with a beer. It is still 100% carrot gold metal if you can take it my friends. rYou may never meet janedoe but she loves you I'm sure and you can feel it." - evileyez's jane doe soundoff: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=1518
Blood Fire Death

"Pirate metal - LOL the name alone pisses me off so much oh man. Metal isn't really my thing overall, I'll admit it, but if you tell me you like this shit of a subgenre then I automatically assume you don't cut your hair and look like Johnny Depp. Like holy shit guys why do you all suck the Black Sea's cock so hard? Every fucking band that comes out of there looks the exact same like can they produce anything original?" - SonomaDude offering his two cents to the conversation, the entire list is pretty hilarious too: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1052092&listid=167589
11Gucci Mane
Everybody Looking

"Gucci Mane, real name Gucci Mane, was originally arrested in September 2013 for doing normal Gucci Mane shit like waving guns at cops and having pockets full of weed." - this fucking news article, it's all hilarious: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/news/36203/Gucci-Mane-walks-free-releases-mixtape/
12Emerson Lake and Palmer
In the Hot Seat

SWORD's "classic" ELP review.
13John Cage

Spooky's famous 4'33'' review.
14Brand New
The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

"The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me is an astounding achievement and will continue to be viewed as a cultural landmark in the years to come by possibly everyone on SputnikMusic.com" - whole thing is a beauty too: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/36663/Brand-New-The-Devil-and-God-Are-Raging-Inside-Me/
15Public Enemy
It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us

"I'm not asian I'm from Long Island" - Green Baron trying to prove to everyone he's not Asian (from his "Trying to fit into high school" thread(since deleted)).
Reflections of the Solstice

"I think it's funny and sad that when bands write lyrics about doing shit like this you guys eat it up like candy. Then, when someone actually goes and does something genuinely evil, it's all "victims are in my thoughts/prayers" and "RIP, so sad!"

The amount of posing that goes on in the metal community is staggering." - TzarChasm displaying complete ignorance: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/news/35022/Goatlord-guitarist-involved-in-murder-suicide/
17Judas Priest

"If its got Maiden in it, its got to be good" - rom voicing his totally non-biased opinion: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=31588&page=13#comments
18Beach Slang
Cheap Thrills On A Dead End Street

"Fuck everybody going on about how it's not technical and doesn't perfectly capture every aspect of the album. This is sputnik music. The point of a review is to give the reader an idea of the way the album plays out, it's ups and downs, the instrumentation, the lyrics, the vocals, etc. This, though, is sputnik music. The site isn't all about how the music sounds. It's how the music feels, it's how you relate to the music, it's the memories that the music brings back. Sputnik is like music itself. It's technical at times, but it still has those moments where emotion really flows from it. Everybody needs to appreciate this review, and album, for what it is. It's cheesy, sure, but it takes you down memory lane. It makes you remember everything that came before it. It's somewhat generic by now, but it's a good formula. It's been influenced by works before it but it's done in a way that let's you forgive it's faults and accept it for what it is.
19Beach Slang
Cheap Thrills On A Dead End Street

(continuation of last post) A pretty damn good review and an album with the same faults and strengths." - BertMacklinFBI: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=64444&page=4#comments
20Beach Slang
Cheap Thrills On A Dead End Street

"You start to type. Your dick gets so hard. You jerk off. It feels good" - Spare telling just a little too much, same review as the previous one, downer's reviews just attract this type of comments it seems: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/64444/Beach-Slang-Cheap-Thrills-On-A-Dead-End-Street/#comments

"Half-baked "conceptual" insipid indie pop nonsense" - Snide using "indie pop" to describe Beyonce: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=220123
22Joy Division
Unknown Pleasures

"I understand that you have an opinion but you are just a hipster elitist fuckwad that I am glad is off this site. 3/5 for this album, you don't even know punk you fucking poseur. (I love being an elitist asshole.)" - WilhelmBlack's glorious list on why staff reviews are usually terrible: https://web.archive.org/web/20151016193913/http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?mode=1&listid=162307
23Corrosion of Conformity

"None of you have spent a minute at my wife's house, nor do you have the slightest idea who my wife is. As if I'm going to believe a single word of this absolute garbage that's meant only to get me riled up and make me look like an ass. It's not happening." - Nazr making completely no sense in the forums: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=641912
24Neutral Milk Hotel
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

"I would let Jeff Mangum's semen stain my mountaintops." - JumpTheF'ckUp's random genius soundoff: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=479
25Green Day

"Bi people have it right though I think. A second gender pool to copulate with? Double your chances." - CoolCalmJoe on Ars's sexual census thread, being a dumbass and not understanding shit about bisexuals: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1034848&listid=159074

"There is nothing industrial about bagpipes. Quote of the ***ing year ladies and gentleman." - Meatplow in his review of Cromagnon-Orgasm: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/43103/Cromagnon-Orgasm/
Crazy on the Weekend

Doof: Sint put up a 3.5 rating and that means at least one more alt
Who do you want?
- PeeweesPieceOfTail (pic of female version of peewee Herman)
- TouchingMonologue (Mathew McConaughey pic from end of True Detectives)
- SpreadMyGlutes (pic of Anton Du Beke)

Ars: You guys are creating alt accounts just to 5 this whenever someone gives it a lower rating? Wow, screen shot.

Sint (later on): holy fuck ars who the fuck cares

Doof on wanting to raise the avg of Sunhouse to be the highest rated album on Sput, and ArsMoriendi being offended at people having fun on the same thread: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=69446&page=27#comments
The Olden Domain

Boney: Damn there's a lot of bowel movements on this list

SCREAM!: I mean it's a hawks list
if you can't handle me at my cradle you don't deserve me at my paysage

SCREAM!, what else needs to be said: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=163187
Periphery III: Select Difficulty

"thanks to djent I stopped being a mortal, now I am le table lololololololol" - LeSonataWishPark spreading the word: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=71255&page=15#lastpost
The Bends

"The bands history is almost as old as the band themselves" - ALA displaying genius logic in his 'the bends' review, unfortunately has been deleted since.

Piripichotes: So, just BC Cygnatti told you this is bad, you're gonna go and suck his dick and rate this 1? what a bunch of ass lickers... man Sputnik is gay as fuck, listen to this with your own ears, is nowhere close to a 5, not even a 4.5, but it actually is really good, melodies will stick with you for a while, it's a pleasant listen, way better that a lot of the shit that made it to top 10 for users and staff picks of 2016...
Grow a pair of balls Sputnik fags. Trendy fatfucks motherless worms.

Shark: This is the first time I've seen/heard anyone use the term "motherless worm" as an insult

Torts: yea trolls think using different word combinations really amplifies their opinions, it's funny

Piripichotes: it does, doesn't it? it's not funny, you're supposed to get mad and angry.

'Chotes having trouble getting his insults across: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=67059&page=5#comments

"My preorder showing up 4 days early is the happiest I've been since Michael Jordan got the game-winning dunk in Space Jam." - cmaitland with the spot on analogies: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=214891
33The Wonder Years
No Closer to Heaven

"Man... Sputnik has become a SAD SAD place... Wonder Years in top 10? Deafheaven? Viet Cong #4, hell, not even Maiden deserves to be top 10, and I'm a HC Maiden fan... Native Construct's debut didn't even make it to top 50...

The greatest generation by Wonder Years has almost 1K votes, and an avg of 4.2

That means less and less people are coming to Sputnik, and plenty have left, BC of the overabundance of stuck up pricks and know-it-all hipsters that took over this website, This is the beginning of the end for Sputnik, you can only blame yourselves now idiots..." - Piripichotes letting out his frustrations: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/blog/2015/12/31/users-top-50-albums-of-2015-10-1/
34Kendrick Lamar
To Pimp a Butterfly

"My list is mostly made out of metal records, I don't like Kendrick Lamar, but I can cope with you saying is the shit, the same with stuff like Sufjan or Chelsea... Fact is, sputnik is also over, and it's because people like you and all the ones that answered to my comment..

You guys need to chill, what a bunch of stalkers, get laid.

Blow me." - Piripichotes (notice the last 4 words in this post) from the same thread: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/blog/2015/12/31/users-top-50-albums-of-2015-10-1/
The Mantle

"i'm gonna start a kickstarter to get u laid" - VoltairesAngryGlove on Piripichotes's shoutbox: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/shoutbox.php?memberid=1049463
La Gargola

"Hentai is some weird shit. I had some friends who would cum to this shit. Some wack jobs I picked for friends eh? Then again, that's their spare time I guess." - miketunney being the most insecure bitch ass ever and pretending like he doesn't fap to boku no pico while sucking the cream out of his penis donuts late at night: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=168023
Me Against the World

Mystletainn: (recs a couple of hip-hop albums)

Keyblade: listen to the homie mystle

ALA: I looked up "homie mystle" and couldn't find anything.

ALA on the 'albums to get me into rap' thread, somehow being led to believe that Homie Mystle is an actual artist: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=166750&memberid=1068787
38Alanis Morissette
Jagged Little Pill

"Canada just voted one of the dumbest Presidents into office" - ALA not up to date on his politics (no source for this yet)
39Porcupine Tree
In Absentia

LeSonata: Jam everything, even the incident which is the worst. Only people with no brain dislike PT

Flug: so many wrongs in that short post

LeSonata: Sup flug, those are brave words for a worthless piece of shit

LeSonataWishPark delivering sick burns in the latest porcupine tree list - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=168527
40Stevie Wonder

"Stevie Wonder doesn't even fucking djent lol faggot shit" - oisincoleman64 showing off his degree in moron in a KILL list: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=107928
The White Album

Doof: Worst album of the year. I'd never listened to a full album before because my Spidey sense would go off but I ignored it to give them a try this time. Obnoxious pukey garbage. It's like if you took the worst ever Shins song and made it 100 times more saccharine and threw away all the decent song writing ideas and any clever lyrics...then recorded that song 9 more times...then you've got 'The White with Brown Smears Album'. All of these songs sound like TV theme jingles but if any of these songs soundtracked a TV Show you'd instantly know it would be shit. So this music could have a use.
CL0VER: DoofusWainright more like DoofusWainWRONG

Weezer thread, with half the site trying to explain doof why they are a great band to him slowly upping his rating in increments, which then leads to people exposing his 1s, doof ranking the tunes piss poor, and other interesting endeavors (pages 34-41 are best): http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=70321&page=34#comments
To Starve the Cross

Pretty fascinating watching you interact on this site. You'll adhere to your contrarian nature, even when it makes you look like you have bad taste. Really impressed by your dedication to false individuality.

OvDeath: Jesus christ are you for real

Xeno not really into diverging opinions: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/71391/Ghoulgotha-To-Starve-the-Cross/#comments
Once More 'Round the Sun

"In order that the rest of this review might be understood more easily, I invite you to contemplate the following image: there is a volcano. It is starting to erupt, and as the lava and smoke and assorted pieces of grit start to pour out of it, it becomes apparent that this is not a normal eruption – the colours are more vibrant than usual and the overall effect of random exploding matter is quite similar to a carnival with loads of fireworks. Cute. This scene is complicated somewhat by the emergence of dinosaurs, which seem to be climbing out of the volcano, which is still erupting. Furthermore, it becomes clear that the volcano is actually on another planet." - IntriguingSergei's brilliant opening paragraph: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/65047/Mastodon-Once-More-Round-the-Sun/
The Glowing Man

this shit - https://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/47si30/sputnikmusic_has_debate_over_michael_gira/?st=iskygr5v&sh=7b50a752
45In Flames
Reroute to Remain

"Reroute to Remain marks the first sharp plummet in the band's descent into gayness, and a deep plummet it is." - XfingTheSullen's 'gold nugget'. The comments that ensue after regarding the topic are pretty great too - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/43604/In-Flames-Reroute-to-Remain/
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