Steerpike
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Reviews 19
Soundoffs 5
News Articles 3
Approval 98%
Site Rank 177

Album Ratings 62
Objectivity 63%

Last Active 07-21-09 7:27 pm
Joined 05-08-04

Forum Posts 14409
Review Comments 1704

Band Edits 7
 Lists
08.08.08 Bands It's A Cliche To Make Fun Of...01.02.07 Another Soundtrack I'd Like To Hear
08.21.06 More Bands Who Would Make Great Soundtr08.11.06 Coolest Stage Names Ever
08.11.06 Bands I've Love to Commission for a Sou08.02.06 Bands I Whore the Most
07.31.06 The Irrational Defense League


Bands It's A Cliche To Make Fun Of...

Everyone fancies themself a comedian. Here I am to tell you why you suck.
1U2

Everyone and their hamster has made a joke at U2's expense. South Park devoted an entire episode to calling Bono a dickhead. What makes you think anything you can say is going to be remotely funny at this point? If I wanted your opinion of U2, I would stab myself in the thigh and jump out a window.
2DragonForce

Yeah, their albums are samey, just like your jokes. We fucking get it! Throwing in a D&D joke doesn't help matters either because you were beaten to that one about 20 years ago. Since you're already emulating DragonForce's monotony, why don't you take it a step further. They add a ballad to each album to give the illusion of diversity. How about in between bad jokes, you simulate diversity by slipping on a banana peel. Onto a pile of thumb tacks.
3Led Zeppelin

Why are you still acting like Jimmy Page's riff thievery is news? The people he ripped off stopped caring around the time that the judge gave them a bunch of free money. I really don't want to hear your whining until such time as Jimmy Page rapes your little sister while doing lines of cocaine off of her hoo-ha. Knowing Jimmy, that'll be what, next week? Actually... even when that does happen I'll still call you names.
4Nirvana

Kurt Cobain is dead. Your jokes at his expense are not registering. And even when he was alive, he was probably too busy shooting heroin and ignoring you to care. And considering he admitted in life that he was a shitty guitarist, it takes away what little sting your unoriginal jibes may have possessed.
5Green Day

After American Idiot came out, it brought out a wave of... no, that's just what they'd expect me to say. Anyway, a bunch of you didn't like the album so you started monopolizing every conversation you got into about how much you hated a band you previously didn't give two shits about. And while the album was sub-par, in Green Day's defense they at least leveraged the popularity of the singles to provide relief for tsunami victims. Whereas you rubes signed a petition to make Bono retire and then gave your money to a dipshit who said he'd give it to charity if the petition succeeded. Now line up single-file. I have here a baseball bat and a picture of Bruce Campbell and am ready to violently exorcise the lamerness out of you. The power of Ash compells thee!
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