Charmander Jones.....The U.

Reviews 213
Approval 98%

Soundoffs 206
News Articles 311
Band Edits + Tags 371
Album Edits 1,260

Album Ratings 2311
Objectivity 77%

Last Active 07-02-15 1:57 pm
Joined 05-20-07

Forum Posts 18
Review Comments 45,654

11.24.15 Don't Stop Believing11.20.15 POW!!
11.15.15 Cam Newton11.11.15 Brace Yourselves!
11.10.15 A Douchebag's Gym Playlist11.08.15 NFC Underdogs
11.03.15 M.E.T.A.L.10.27.15 Fast Riffs
10.22.15 Frostbitten10.21.15 Media Hype
10.20.15 $2010.14.15 Swallowed Up By The Sea
10.12.15 The Hourglass of Life10.11.15 Apple Cider Iced Tea
10.08.15 Starbucks Iced Lattes10.06.15 News Articles
10.05.15 Halloween Costume Ideas10.03.15 A Zazzy Affair
More »

Gruesome Artwork

Hi my name is Bjorn "The Dark Woods Mauler" Vikingstad, lead guitar player for seminal Norwegian black metal troupe Woods Of Crimson Sorrow, singer for Dark Waters, and bass player/ backup vocalist for grindcore heathens Blood And Guts Smoothie. I put together a list of brutal album covers. My method is simple, I use the brutality scale which ranges from 1 which is soft to 10 which is brutal. Let's get started.
Reek Of Putrefaction

Brutality Scale: Autopsy photographs. Very brutal indeed. 7.5 out of 10.
2Nocturnal Breed
Fields of Rot

Brutality Scale: Godless soldiers that believe remorse is for pussies. No holds bared, these guys go apeshit. 6 out of 10.
3Cesspool Of Vermin
Beastial Necrophilia

Brutality scale: A boar having it's way with a blonde woman. So wrong on so many levels. 8.5 out of 10 but with the swine flu all about, this adds a grim 0.5 points to the total to 9.

Brutality Scale: Burning down an important church and taking a photograph of it to use as album art is wicked and cold hearted. 9 out of 10.

Brutality scale: It's Prince, nothing new here or suprising. 3 out of 10.
Carnivorous Erection

Brutality scale: Deeply pornographic and brutal at the same time. The visuals are rather upsetting to the senses. 8 out of 10.
7Cannibal Corpse
Tomb of the Mutilated

Brutality Scale: The gore masters of disturbing da peace bring forth a whole new level of visually unfeasable. No explanation needed. 10 out of 10.
8Black Flag

Brutality scale: Henry the hulk Rollins punching out a mirror in what would turn out to be iconic for the next 30 years plus. 5.5 out of 10.
Dawn of the Blackhearts

Brutality scale: Yeah, hey Black River, Forest just splattered himself in the basement. What to do? Oh, I know, let's take a picture of the suicide and use it on our album cover. How brutal and unethical would that be? 11 out of 10.
Never Good Enough For You

Brutality scale: Naked woman covered in blood holding what appears to be a heart. 8.5 out of 10.
Fuck Me Jesus

Brutality scale: Offensive to just about anyone, women, religion, etc and all that is good and decent. This portrayal of a woman pleasuring herself with a cross blends demented eroticism with a fuck you to the man up stairs. 10 out of 10. I'm ashamed of myself.
12The Mexico 1240s
Chicken And Cheese

Brutalit scale: What the fuck is that, two stuffed tacos with the works? Tomatoes all diced up, chees, chicken, sour cream, and tortiia? 0.2 out of 10. the 0.2 points goes to it being appetizing.
13Cattle Decapitation

Brutality scale: A cow shitting out the remains of a human in graphic detail. 9.0 out of 10.
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