Altmer
Jorn van Schaïk
User

Reviews 172
Approval 89%

Soundoffs 55
News Articles 13
Band Edits + Tags 9
Album Edits 24

Album Ratings 698
Objectivity 76%

Last Active 12-16-09 6:09 pm
Joined 08-22-06

Forum Posts 862
Review Comments 5,652

 Lists
08.18.13 A Classic Altmer List04.04.12 Hold Your Breath...for I Am Listening T
12.21.11 It's Time To Be A Happy Atheist09.29.11 Currently In Amazing Altmer Rotation
06.13.11 My (potential) Iceland Soundtrack05.21.11 I Am Back
05.16.11 Songs I Am (sort Of) Learning With The 10.15.10 Stuff. Floating My Boat
07.19.10 The Stuff I Have Spun In The Vicinity O11.23.09 It's Raining Outside
11.04.09 Albums I Have To Listen To Now09.29.09 Gotta See The Psychologist
09.04.09 Je Suis Remus Lupin08.28.09 Songs That Rock My Socks Lately
08.06.09 Altmer's Top Metal Bands07.30.09 My Descent Into Insanity
07.12.09 Should I Get My Navel Pierced06.30.09 Underrated Dream Theater Songs From Eac
More »

A Few Fucken Records You'll Hate But I'm Lovin

and why
1Trivium
Shogun


Woah woah woah, Altmer likes a Trivium album? I know I have this rated as a 2, but I'm gonna have to up this. Yeah they still aren't very original, but these are some talented and tight motherfuckers. The growls they brought back are unnecessary though. Also, love the Maiden worship, guys. There are just a bunch of really fucken awesome songs on here. Screw the haters, Trivium will go somewhere if they keep it up. They have to be a bit less pretentious, though...
2Tiamat
Amanethes


Willie reviewed this and called it a generic rehash of their older stuff mixed with their newer stuff. I dunno, but I like this stuff, it's more uptempo, and finally it feels like they have lost the plod of their goth rock era. There is some tempo here in this shit, and I dig it. "The Temple of the Crescent Moon" is an awesome track.
3Porcupine Tree
In Absentia


SW is a genius. No, he isn't overly technical, but this motherfucker writes the best songs in prog music without a doubt. All hail this album.
4Unexpect
In A Flesh Aquarium


What the motherfucking fuck - OH IS THAT A FUCKING CABARET METAL RIFF WITH WEIRD VOCAL DUETS JESUS YOU JUST EARNED A POINT. This is too Mr. Bungle I guess, but fuck me if it's not awesome.
5Turisas
The Varangian Way


These guys paint themselves and don fur coats. If something's cheesy on-stage performing, that would be it. Also, they have an accordion player. But nobody cares because these songs fucking rule. Give me my epic metal about swords, Vikings, and Dnieper Rapids and I'm happy.
6Jaga Jazzist
What We Must


Pretentious post-rock with jazz. EC would like this, which means nobody else sane would. But it's still good you know.
7 Crowhead
Frozen


Sounds like Tiamat meets Sisters of Mercy. Gay eyeliner metal. But fuck me these songs are awesome.
8Sabaton
The Art of War


Whores nagging about war. At least the whore singing sounds like he is a real man, therefore this whore metal with a not so whorey singer can be whored safely. If you don't, you risk full out war with the whores that listen to this whorable album.
9Burst
Lazarus Bird


Pretto. But good pretto. I like my metal more pretentious.
10Kreator
Hordes of Chaos


Not retro enough. Good thing they can rip off Slayer these days, so they at least sound good for their age. I still wish for a bit more speed to these songs, but at least it isn't gay like before.
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