liver cirrhoded, mind eroded

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Soundoffs 32
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Last Active 10-03-17 6:50 am
Joined 05-07-17

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10.13.17 noise rock supremacy // my taste cuter 10.05.17 @psychonauts and anyone else interested
10.01.17 nrl gf day//datura tea//apparitions (?)09.28.17 sachiko m/ (with a bit of p/)
09.26.17 sachbient09.23.17 trynna get my 2k17 blackout-rave mix to
09.20.17 sach's guide to dxc (for hal)09.19.17 trap/drill-17
09.17.17 young thug ranked09.15.17 noise in this year of our lord
09.13.17 almost died//sach slams (again)09.05.17 come over
09.04.17 JLIAT's (more popular drones) ranked09.01.17 romantic frustrations/inspired by wine(
08.23.17 sach's diary of singles08.18.17 sach's spicy slam stash as of 18/8/17 2
07.29.17 idk why i'm doing this tbh 07.17.17 going back
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@psychonauts and anyone else interested

run-down on my datura trip (list is my datura playlist for the night -- i'm not sure if these songs actually played or were just aural hallucinations of a sort, but i guess that's the magic of delirium) NOTE: this worked like a kind of dj mix in my head -- so far as not every song played out and rather there were snippets of songs here and there and everywhere and everything kind of flowed perfectly.
expensive taste

dose: 3 flowers | oral | datura stramonium | tea
date: 1/10 - 2/10
age (at time of experience): 20
weight: ~63kg/140lb
2lil durk
we ball (remix) feat. booka600

length of trip: 12-15 hours
intensity of trip: very high
recommendable: not unless an incredibly experienced tripper (and make SURE to prepare and research dosages)
3too late

typical sensation of anticipation (burn in the gut, slight anxiety/jitteriness [excitement-induced], a bit giggly): probably placebo. no noticeable effects of the datura (physical or mental) aside from the expected cottonmouth.
4we dem niggas

near-unbearable cottonmouth (throat feels as though it's begun to close up -- experienced difficulty swallowing water) that isn't alleviated no matter how much water is drunk. very strong urges/needs to piss paired with a painful inability to do so (every time i pissed it was in minimal volumes). limbs feel heavy and coordination is all but gone (similar to drunkenness). mental state remains largely the same.
5chief keef
check it out

visuals begin to kick in: vision is as if contrast has been turned up to max; shadows begin to writhe and crawl; aural hallucinations begin. limbs weigh tons; movement is near impossible (walking feels as if blindfolded and upon very uneven ground -- no real sensation of dizziness though). cottonmouth remains horrendous from here-onwards, as does the piss-dilemma.
meet my mop feat. lil flash

memory becomes patchy from this point onwards so i'll just resort to story-telling (as gauging time became near impossible)
7killy x 16yrold
no romance

i'd locked myself in my room and hidden the key so i couldn't get out (and embarrass myself or risk my [or anyone else's] life), filled up a few bottles of water for hydration, bought a pack of ciggies and written down a note of how much datura i'd ingested and the time of ingestion beforehand (in case i needed medical assistance)
8chief keef
save that shit

visions began with the animation of my door and appearance of a large, alcohol-dependent, latin-fluent spider (similar to a huntsman but much larger -- say the size of a dinner plate) on the wall. the door was initially quite kind: spoke to me about the hardships of being a door and the pains of being used without any acknowledgements of gratitude. the spider seemed much less coherent, endlessly chuckling and muttering things to himself (?) in latin.
money dancin

at around the +2:15 mark, i begin to hear knocking at the door. when i attempt to open the door, the door stops me from turning the handle and begins to yell: threatening to kill me (eyes had gone from a timid black to a glowing red, mouth had begun to foam) and otherwise berating me (this goes on for the majority of the trip). upon this happening, the spider stops muttering in latin and begins cackling (almost uncontrollably).
10chief keef
you my number one

at this point i turn the music (that had been playing through my speaker) up considerably to drown out mr. door. i also grab a cigarette from my pack and begin to smoke (in the middle of my room). it is worth noting that i smoked upwards of 10 cigarettes during the trip (according to my recollections), yet my pack was still full when i sobered up
11bankroll 4 feat. tadoe

throughout the trip i periodically lost my cigarettes and could not find them. i'd fret about this for some time before giving up (as the carpet seemed akin to thick, dark shrubbery and i was not willing to stick my hand in there to search for the cigarettes -- especially as i had a fresh pack).
tadoe tuesday

at some point ~+3:45 - +4:30 my gf appears beside me on the lounge i had been sitting on. we spend two to three hours snuggling and chatting (about remarkably "deep" things; my existential discontent and the nature of our relationship [how i want to improve and whatnot]).
13blood money
believe in tha glo

at some point during this long chat i come to the realisation that she couldn't have gotten into the room for mr. door wouldn't let me open him. upon coming to this realisation my gf dissolves into a black fluffy mass before melting into the couch.
swag school

for whatever reason i didn't find this alarming and instead believed it to be natural...? i go back to smoking cigarettes before getting somewhat stir-crazy and attempting to write down my thoughts on some paper (all i found in the morning were illegible scribbles and what appeared to be repetitions of sad faces drawn over each other)
15glory boyz

over the next few hours various people from my past and present appear and talk to me (most notably my dead friend james appearing for a few hours -- which was nice). the same process of realisation and disintegration occurs.
summer tape

upon my mum (the last of my hallucinated acquaintances) melting into the surroundings, the walls begin to drip blood, which coincides with my head beginning to throb. i rearrange myself so as to lie down and attempt to sleep.
17chihei hatakeyama and hakobune
vibrant colours

every time i closed my eyes i'd visualise different places; myself in them -- totally lucid and able to function
18black thread
meadowlark (premonition)

i have various, quite involved dreams (many of which i don't remember clearly)
bands pt. 2

the most notable dream was one in which i end up partying with my gf and her friends for my birthday, and upon heading back (we leave the club as a group) i somehow get detached from the group, before being hit by a car in a quite disoriented and clueless attempt at crossing a major road
20c roy
10 missed calls

snapping back to reality at this point i sit up (which almost causes me to black out -- probably my low blood pressure) and look at the clock to see that it's only been 6 hours (although it's felt like eternities)
21yung lean
hunting my own skin

at this point my need to pee is excruciating, so i throw off all of my clothes (for some reason), and attempt to piss in one of the empty bottles of water. when i do eventually piss, it comes out a weird purpleish-green colour (don't ask me to figure out what the fuck that means), and appears to be incredibly viscous (think melted bubblegum consistency).
22thaiboy digital

the spider, whom had been relatively quiet for a long time now, begins to mutter in latin again, although much more aggressively -- his legs twitching as well. i offer him a cigarette to calm down (walking over to him to give it to him took what seemed like forever; near-electric jolts running down my legs each step i made), but upon passing the cigarette to him he explodes into ash (kinda like a phoenix).
mentally retarded whore

i then begin to have an apoplexy as i notice that his ashen remains as well as mr. door's rabid frothy spit have made a mess of my carpet. to clean up the mess i begin scrubbing the carpet with my clothes.
24in dying arms
core of my existence

i eventually tire of this and decide to try and make myself some food (i feel as though sober at this point, as my physical capacities have returned -- although i was in hindsight still quite affected). i make a bowl of muesli without milk. i sit down to eat it and then hesitate as i see what seems to be quite an active microbiome in my bowl -- bugs, grasses, fungi, tadpoles and things of such a sort. i debate the ethics of eating live organisms before letting my savage instinct lead me. i try to eat the muesli but struggle endlessly due to the near-closure of my throat as a result of the cottonmouth. i eat ~1/4 of the bowl before attempting to tip the rest in the bin (in actuality i tip it all over my table and the carpet).
25sworn in

i then meditate and go back to lying on my back and attempting to transport myself to different places by opening and closing my eyes.
26air conditioning
accept your paralysis / cephalexin

eventually i close my eyes a few times and nothing happens. i sit up and see that it's 11am and realise it's been almost 14 hours since i ingested the datura.
27rusted shut

i then spend a bunch of time cleaning up my mess. i somehow developed a bunch of bruises on my arms and legs (i imagine from stumbling and bumping into things at various points). my book of the moment was near-pageless and my pack of ciggies sat untouched on the desk. various pieces of cutlery were scattered across the floor, along with the muesli and my paracetamol tablets. no music was playing at this point (and i have no recollection of turning the stereo off).
wind van voren

aftereffects: short-distance vision is absolutely shot (of about 20/100 quality compared to the normal 20/20). vision is otherwise a little off, so far as everything (from a perceptive standpoint) looks different. occasional hallucinations (although they've become less frequent).
29drvg cvlture
everything is a weapon
30marble sky
what you might forget
energy chasms
nostalgie i
33lil xan
35the last ten seconds of life
a face in the flames
do while
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