Art or Smut? I care not.. Tits..
Amor and Language
Best of the Worst (93-97)
|7||Bat For Lashes|
The Haunted Man
classy obscured tits.. the absence of tits is what makes the tits.. ie. art
submit your tits.. and i will psychoanalyze your choices..
oddly shaped and smothered in pixilated corn syrup, these tits tell me that Blitzer likes his women like he likes his terrorists - with an obscured face..
covered by photographic flash or perhaps the glow of ET's finger about to get to third base, Dctarga's choice reveals him to be a poetic man who still struggles with his primal nature.. in that, he is like every other man..
Around the Fur
small and droopy, borderline pubescent tits in a mismatched bra and panties, with eyes that look bloodshot with weed, Drifter's choice tells me he needs to stop listening to Nosferatu d230472483, grow some cojones and ask out that kale shop girl with the glass eye he'd been oogling for months..
Night Time, My Time
there's little mystery to Unique's choice.. this woman looks like an overworked, underpaid night nurse who's getting into the shower after a long day marked by bleaching shit stains and inserting catheters into increasingly tiny cocks.. she's tired and doesn't want anything except lasagna and HBO..
Chocolate and Cheese
We all know Doof to be a witty, self-aware, somewhat anachronistic man.. it makes sense then that these are the tits of his heart, revealing less to be so much more, like upside down icebergs from a world not unlike our own, but also entirely different..
Until the End of Time
this choice adds layers to Drifter's persona.. an oil painting of a poseur gangster, sort of a slapping lipstick on a pig scenario.. nevertheless, it's hard to argue with the quality of these tits.. of special note, tupac in Russian slang means idiot..
|15||Josh T. Pearson|
Last of the Country Gentlemen
both of Boney's choices (look below), are a curious picture.. vague semblance of tits almost entirely blocked out by men with surplus of hair and beard.. this could either be a latent desire of some sort, but more likely, a closeted love for the music of the Bee Gees..
see above, or don't, i don't give a fuck..
Sat's choice betrays his love of logic even as it shatters past perceptions.. The titted creature on the cover of Bivouac is the unflinchingly true portrait of what a child between Roger and Jessica Rabbit would have actually looked like..
On the Impossible Past
Was part of what makes the past so impossible is her inability to buy a bra, push-up or otherwise? We may never know..
The Flesh Prevails
Blackwater's choice of tits is another double-tiered meaning.. either he likes the dulcet image of a beautiful woman swimming in open water, as free as she is graceful, with her body seemingly cut out of pure light, a wonderful interplay between sea and man.. or he wants to drown a woman..
Under the Sign of the D-beat Mark
A mix between Conan the Barbarian and your garden variety Comic-Con sad sack cosplay abuse issues nutcase, danielito's choice of tits all circle back to banal dysfunction.. i recommend yoga thrice daily, and if that doesn't work, Xanax by the shovel-load..
The Goat of Mendes
dark, tit-packed and unceremoniously death metally, Thalassic's choice could only ever mean one thing - The Goat of Mendes is some sort of sex parlour show, not unlike the donkey shows in Mexico, but more Swedish-influenced..
In The Can
ah Fripp, as progressive musically, as he is regressive elsewhere.. it's hard to deny that he picked some prime tits for his choice.. it's equally hard to deny that 'in the can' means these tits have been dipped into toilet water, possibly against their will..
A never-ending source of tittery, Doof swoops in with several other suggestions like some latter-day Bucklecherry Finn of tits..
Lemonade And Brownies
What this choice, coupled with the album title suggests is that there is a little R. Kelly living inside Doof's body, just waiting to break out at the most inopportune moment (a funeral, or perhaps a bris)
The Power of Pussy
like me, Doof has probably nourished several childhood fantasies off Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC.. but what fur-lined tits suggest more than anything, is that in his age and wisdom, Doof is more concerned with warmth and comfort that the tits cradled within,..
Uni's second choice of tits speaks about his ambition and desire for adventure.. climbing Mount Everest for instance, provided Mount Everest is the name of a stripper with gigantism and acromegaly..
this speaks about Uni's abstract heart.. there are no overt tits here, sure, in fact there are backs.. but there are two backs.. and as we all know, barring some horrific accident or a case of the Angelina Jolie's, tits come in twos..
The Assassination of Julius Caesar
Non-obvious, non-present, somewhat intellectual and seemingly classy, the tits of DIssonant's choice are much like the music of Ulver themselves - mostly shit..
This is Hardcore
I wouldn't mind this kind of pulp with my orange juice, if you know what I mean, and of course you do, you're on a list called Tits..
it's no secret that zaka knows how most everyone walks through life a sanctimonious brainwashed mannequin.. but you still have to live in this world and still need tits in your life.. and so voila..
|31||Made Out of Babies|
hesperus' choice reveal his love of history and how it affects our choices and divides and politics.. which is why when pressed for tits, he goes all the way to the beginning, to the hirsute roots of what was and what could have been.. i believe Tolstoy would have picked the same tits if asked..
Like Herbie Mann, Uni is a man before his time.. for example, these trailblazing tits, posing confidently in all their oiled glory way before 80's and cocaine made this sort of album cover the norm..
As impersonally metallic as they are wholesome on a cosmetic level, these tits speak to Fripp's pragmatic nature.. how exactly, you may ask? like this, i say *(leaves the room)
The tits that were so much so soon so often, they forced D'Angelo to run away for 14 years, and return with a whole closet of shirts.. and every time i see them, all i can say is a nonsense noise that sounds a little like 'wtferrothorn'
|35||Car Seat Headrest|
Nervous Young Man
His questionable choices in usernames aside, these tits do show said user's more vulnerable side.. namely, his self-consciousness about this left nipple, which i can only assume has been mangled in some mouse-trap scenario gone awry.. either that, or he is one of the hundreds of Napoleon's illegitimate great great great grandchildren..
The Documentary 2
Like The Game pictured here in all his tattooed tit glory, Drifter knows the golden rule - two fingers pressed closely together is the only way to show the world you're a tough guy.. not three fingers, no, that just means you're jackass..
|37||Eagles Of Death Metal|
Beyond the fact that his username may be the most tit-oriented here, Lefty's pick lends us a deep look within his very soul, a soul troubled by how different could silicon tits really be from those silica gel packets you get in shoe-boxes..
This one is Lefty trying to make his mind up about a very potent topic in today's society.. The death penalty, its merits on societal appeasement vs. its inherent brutality, and whether an eye for an eyes is really the way to breach civilized conflict resolution.. I will tell you, that regardless of all that, executing people in pairs and with their tits out seems only a little non-kosher..
Lefty's moral quest continues here into the subject of body freedoms (quite the subconsciously thoughtful lad), as a German herr doctor is clearly checking for tit cancer lumps non-invasively during the Blitz, symbolizing the internal turmoil that Lefty feels every day of this life.. I prescribe 10 cc's of tits, stat..
Ah, these are my kind of tits.. Shameless, coated in cigarette smoke.. reminds me of my friend's Tommy's mother.. Didn't know Fripp knew her too.. unsurprising though..
|41||A Winged Victory for the Sullen|
A Winged Victory for the Sullen
This band's name is an idiotically random collection of words, and the fact that wwf knew them means these crudely drawn mangled tits are the only ones he deserves in this life or the next..
Fuck Me Jesus
The 667th of the noble Davil clan, this user's pick of tits would have been banned if the Catholic church hadn't lost all media power a long damn time ago.. These tits indicate how he's struggled with Jesus and whether that thing his auntie Roberta told him how jacking off too much makes you go blind is really true..
Friv's choice of tits exposes his many sexual hang-ups.. namely, trying to figure out how to coax tits out of an asexual Swedish meatball of bad-accentry and increasingly pointless experimentation that has long since been bordering on reality TV-levels of attention-seeking..
Hink's pick of tits is undoubtedly a classy affair, and it speaks to his concerns about poverty in the economic depression-stricken Spain, as this dancer has clearly had to sell her bra in order to buy her children back braces and patatas bravas..
Sandwich being a smart-ass - https://i.imgur.com/Xi35TE0.jpg
dedes' pick of tits is a very clear moment.. i mean, these are some classy tits, done in the style of legendary, incomparable Czech painter Alphonse Mucha.. unfortunately, they are on the cover of a metal album, proving once again that metalheads are out to get us, to turn every beautiful thing in the world into just some zit-faced guy screaming Rahhh! over some down-tuned riffage..and i don't want down-tuned riffage, i want up-turned tittage.. dedes, do not destroy those pigs..
House of Balloons
Drifter likes Nosferatu d403709836ywruehk, which has a monkey on the cover.. so it's clear what he really yearns for in asking for these tits is a House of Baboons.. luckily, he's on sputnikmusic, so everything will be fine..
Lethal's choice of tits is indicative of his desire for purity, as shown by his pick of this alabaster white flat-assed Saxon girl.. which isn't to say that white skin is indicative of goodness or anything.. it's just you know, the old fairy tale bullshit.. in conclusion, Lethal may be racist.. but probably not..
Diva's choice relates to his residential desires.. These borderline pubescent tits indicate that he wants to live somewhere irredeemably flat, like a prairie, or perhaps the Serengeti Toto keep singing about.. I prescribe watching The Lion King and possibly some Canadian sitcom set in Winnipeg..
Aratame Hajime Mashite Midori Desu
Aberf's choice can only mean one thing.. He needs to man up and finally buy that tentacle machine he's been eyeing on ebay for the past four months..