artiswar: holding it together

dctarga 08.16.17	What's his deal? But uh, as far as you go, idk think of happy fun places that you've been and delicious food that you want to try again. Or get really drunk and call off work tomorrow. I don't give great advice.
artiswar 08.16.17	Bad advice is always better than no advice I always say. I don't really know what his deal is, I moved in with him after only 2 jam sessions and we've roomed together for about 2 weeks so far. I know he takes some kind of prescription medication for depression but I don't think it's helping. Anyway, sincere thanks for the outpouring of sentiments Dctarga.
dctarga 08.16.17	Oh yeah that's a toughy. I would definitely try to ask him what's up. In a much different setting and in a non-invasive seeming way obviously, but if you catch him a good/decent mood maybe try and find some common ground talking point or maybe even something your struggling with and see where he takes it. Don't ever push too hard, but it's worth it. Sometimes people just need someone to listen but don't want to and/or can't bring it up themselves. Also, this may seem like 2 sides of the coin but try and keep your guard up, especially if you really don't know guy that well. Being aware doesn't inherently make you invulnerable to anything, but I like to think that when shit hits the fan we have a better initial reaction when we've thought about the scenarios before.
hal1ax 08.17.17	nightly fits of torrential rage doesn't sound like depression. you should try to cautiously figure out his deal, without being too hasty or overextending. try to open up a continuous dialogue. share your troubles and grievances with him, help each other out. and i'm not sure if i agree with 'bad advice is better than no advice.' while i'm not a huge fan of consequentialism, and realize that good intention can potentially offset an undesirable outcome, people need to try to be aware of the fact that advice that is contraindicated can sometimes do immense damage, and that, within subjects with which we lack knowledge, it is sometimes better to just listen and sympathize than it is to try to chime in.
Sinternet 08.17.17	Break the secual tension and ask if he wants a cleveland steamer
dctarga 08.17.17	Yeah I was being cheeky as fuck on my initial response, my bad guy. But basically what hal1ax said, them some solid words right there.
artiswar 08.17.17	He definitely has severe depression and the violent fits feel like a coping mechanism. I have tried to talk to him about it, opened up about some of my own shit before asking why he smashed a barbel through a wall at 3am. He just said something vague like 'life happened' or 'my mind happened'. Things were okay until he completely fucked my sleep cycle during a hectic work week of early morning shifts. Now I've just kind of been avoiding him a bit and that's probably not helping.
DominionMM1 08.17.17	it's only gonna get worse so i'd get the hell out
Deathconscious 08.17.17	"My roommate is blasting black metal one door away and crying hysterically as he is wont to do well into the wee hours of the morning." lmao im sorry, but that made me laugh. "I don't really know what his deal is, I moved in with him after only 2 jam sessions" what the fuck were you thinking.
rodrigo90 08.17.17	I don't generally trust people who are hardcore fans of black metal or death metal, especially the more putrid one.
Deathconscious 08.17.17	maybe people who like death/black metal are different where you live, but that sounds like a pretty dumb reason to not trust someone.
rodrigo90 08.17.17	Maybe...
Tyler. 08.17.17	...
porcupinetheater 08.17.17	Get a shotgun mic and sample him for a new Silencer record
artiswar 08.17.17	...I thought about recording him while he's at it but it's honestly too depressing. As for what I was thinking, I like to naively think I'm a decent judge of character and he made a good first impression on me. He's a massive music nerd, has amazing taste (introduced me to dozens of bands I hadn't even HEARD of) and made it clear that he's serious about working on music together. That pretty much checked all my boxes for compatible room-mate so I jumped into it head first. I sort of have one foot out the door but I also want to salvage what's here as the guy has a kind of weird musical talent in a somewhat autistic sort of way. I still like him but I just hadn't realized how bad things had gotten with him in the past year... I don't know if he's gonna get better or if I can do anything about it. I know no one's help has ever made my own depression any better so I feel like my hands are tied.
dctarga 08.17.17	"I know no one's help has ever made my own depression any better" [2]
artiswar 08.17.17	Also the guy has never had a drink or a puff in his life, I'm seriously considering getting him off the meds and onto weed or something
Deathconscious 08.17.17	"...I thought about recording him while he's at it but it's honestly too depressing." Do it, use it as an interlude. It would be kvlt as fvck.
artiswar 08.17.17	maybe if I drowned him in reverb and delay
Deathconscious 08.17.17	Maybe if you drowned him
dctarga 08.17.17	That's how I read it at first lol
artiswar 08.18.17	just an update, things are going better. broke the ice some more, tried to get him to smoke some pretty potent weed but it did nothing (guy has high tolerance it seems). gonna try alcohol next. saw him after a job interview today and he cleaned up real nice, looked all sharp. he's also going solo to his first concert tonight (Ancients, I think). the mental breakdowns have been kept to a refreshing minimum. I'm feeling more optimistic about the living situation for now.
dctarga 08.18.17	Glad to hear it man, good shit. And yeah don't push too hard on the smoking/drinking but if he's up for it, then it's all good
Deathconscious 08.18.17	"tried to get him to smoke some pretty potent weed but it did nothing (guy has high tolerance it seems)." or it might be because its the first time he smoked. a lot of people dont feel anything the first time. "gonna try alcohol next." what, to help him with his issues? uhh, thats a terrible idea actually.
artiswar 08.19.17	The first few times I smoked weed were some of the most intense highs of my life actually, and weed was way lower in THC content back then. As far as alcohol, he has no interest in hard liquor, he did mention he wanted to try beer, which we did today, and he hated it taste-wise. I'm not trying to get him into drugs, trying both things were his idea and they had no effect. We smoked a bowl and had a couple beers and wine coolers. I'm not making him shoot heroin into his ball sack while drinking moonshine.
Deathconscious 08.19.17	yeah, just saying, trying to cope with depression by using alcohol is never a good idea. and thats great that you got really high your first time but like i said, a lot of people dont. sometimes it even takes two or three smoke sessions for a newbie to feel it.
artiswar 08.19.17	Something else to keep in mind is my friend is also a responsible adult. Probably more responsible than me tbh, and one of the least addictive personalities I've ever met. Literally his only vices are music and foreign cinema. We talked about the scary night-episodes and he assured me that that's a pretty recent thing and I'm inclined to believe him. Like I said, I think things are on the upswing now. Anyway thanks for the concern Adolf.