MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | What a sluuuuuuu |
Relinquished
07.04.14 | this is a music website |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | yeah so like do you ride the lightning or not you lil bitch |
pedro70512
07.04.14 | is your friend a chick? if not, then we've got a story. |
Cygnatti
07.04.14 | ^^^^ |
Relinquished
07.04.14 | obv mappy do you know who you're speaking to |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | Yeah if I was outing Tyler Seguin as a homosexual that would definitely be something, eh!! |
DrMaximus
07.04.14 | lmao |
betray
07.04.14 | lmao |
betray
07.04.14 | i promise we did that at the exact same fucking time |
DrMaximus
07.04.14 | Woah :0 |
treeqt.
07.04.14 | so yeah who |
betray
07.04.14 | hockey |
XfingTheSullen
07.04.14 | Who's Tyler Seguin? |
DrMaximus
07.04.14 | Hockey |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | Tyler Seguin = hockey
and he made out with my friend
: ' ( |
XfingTheSullen
07.04.14 | Are you jelly or what? maybe she liked it |
SCREAM!
07.04.14 | Clicked hoping for Tyler the creator :( |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | tyler the creator doesnt like girls |
betray
07.04.14 | you guys are like on the internet already why are you asking who that is lmao |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | tyler seguin on ice : http://img.bleacherreport.net/img/images/photos/002/592/047/hi-res-181019181-tyler-seguin-of-the-dallas-stars-during-a-preseason_crop_exact.jpg?w=1500&h=1500&q=85
tyler seguin on my friend : http://i57.tinypic.com/2d1tuvl.jpg |
Adabelle
07.04.14 | Nez Pez, word |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | holy shit adabelle magically appears when Neil Perry is on a list lmao |
Adabelle
07.04.14 | Got that fanboyism on lockdown |
Relinquished
07.04.14 | "you guys are like on the internet already why are you asking who that is lmao"
seriously |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | search engines
how do they werk? |
Shimana
07.04.14 | dooches get all the poon-tang |
Relinquished
07.04.14 | nah ur just too soft to know how to play the game |
Shimana
07.04.14 | i know how to play hockey |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | its so weird when someone youve known for 15 years gets macked on by an NHLer. |
YakNips
07.04.14 | good list |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | yea bro |
treeqt.
07.04.14 | "you guys are like on the internet already why are you asking who that is lmao"
who's asking |
treeqt.
07.04.14 | she's ugly btw
hope that helps |
Relinquished
07.04.14 | "who's asking"
"so yeah who" |
treeqt.
07.04.14 | that's not a question
that's a statement |
Relinquished
07.04.14 | don't lie lol you won't make yourself look good either way |
sniper
07.04.14 | treeqt only digs 12 year old korean girls |
NordicMindset
07.04.14 | puck bunnys everywhere |
treeqt.
07.04.14 | anime girls are ok too |
Pheromone
07.04.14 | wow good joke bro! |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 |
"she's ugly btw
hope that helps"
lol srsly? |
NordicMindset
07.04.14 | nah, she alright |
Snake.
07.04.14 | I think your friend might have herpes now. |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | she was good enough to bag a millionaire on a thursday night so i mean yea |
Snake.
07.04.14 | Though I would absolutely mack with one of the Staal brothers if I was given the option. |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | none of the staal brothers are as good looking as tyler seguin though. |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | you could tell he wanted the cameras to go away so he could just mutilate this poor girl
http://i61.tinypic.com/2eb5pv6.jpg |
Shimana
07.04.14 | so do you live in dallas or brampton |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | Lol, Toronto |
NordicMindset
07.04.14 | Almost reaches Cuthbert levels of puckbunniness |
Shimana
07.04.14 | yea your friend saw her chance at becoming a puckbunny |
Scoot
07.04.14 | kid is a legit dbag |
Apollo
07.04.14 | malleus is completely retarded |
ILJ
07.04.14 | i held hands with the current miss ohio once
we were both drunk though good times |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.04.14 | "malleus is completely retarded"
LOL whats your problem little buddy? |
acorncheese
07.05.14 | i thought that was jamie benn's job. jk. now it's spezza's job. |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.05.14 | the story has a twist. my friends last name is seguin. when she asked tyler to put his number into her phone, he put it in there as "Long Lost Brother Incest Tyler". |
Shimana
07.05.14 | well then don't worry about tyler, he totally "mutilated" that later on. |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.05.14 | You guys are never gonna believe this. Not that I care or anything, but. After mingling with Tyler Seguin (I didn't know this at the time), my friend caught eyes with Michael Del Zotto. Apparently these are a bunch of guys who were in the area for a charity golf tournament or something. but this is how they spend their weekday nights lol. Anyways yeah Im pretty confident in saying that my friend had sex with Michael Del Zotto approximately 20 mins after mingling with Tyler Seguin and having him enter his number as "Long Lost Brother Incest Tyler".
Holy shit. |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.05.14 | Im trying to obtain some photographic proof of the pre-sex mingling from my friend who notified me of this. Its just too much gold. Im pretty sure this Del Zotto and another NHLer Devante Smith-Pelly trying to squeeze in there with Seguin.
http://i62.tinypic.com/w6vy8i.jpg
|
Shimana
07.05.14 | they're all from the Toronto area so maybe it's Clarkson's charity golf tourney |
Shimana
07.05.14 | also, are you taking the pics? |
guitarded_chuck
07.05.14 | i know a chick that fucked patty kane. to make this convo relevant: i also know a chick that fucked t-pain. that rhymed unintentionally i srs doe |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.05.14 | nah I wasn't taking pictures, my friend is sending me these. If they were mine I woulda already cashed in via Deadspin.
|
Shimana
07.05.14 | that would have been some major fifth-wheeling |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.05.14 | this is fuckin hilarious |
GuanoBumbershoot
07.05.14 | over one season, about a quarter of the 07-08 Belleville Bulls had their way with a girl from my old high school. I bet one of them was P.K. |
MyNameIsPencil
07.13.14 | You should have made out with him instead.
It'd be a fun story to tell your children one day. |
MalleusMaleficarum
07.13.14 | I will likely still enjoy telling this story in the future. A friend of mine macked onna couple NHLers at a club one night. Just seeing them lounging about was funny enough. 22 year old dudes just getting hammered and looking for tang. #offseason |