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09.26.15 Some are White Light09.11.15 Musicians of Music
06.15.14 Baha Men Ranked12.13.13 Sputnikfest
11.13.13 Rec Me Awesome Movies08.21.13 Before Going To College
07.02.13 Math Rock

Before Going To College

Make sure you can pass this test. Otherwise you will go into crippling debt for no good reason and will never contribute anything of worth to society, scallywag.

HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes. Be sure not to spill blood on the page.

PUBLIC SPEAKING: Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the room. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
4Black Sabbath

BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
5Pink Floyd

MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat
Frizzle Fry

PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
Sound Awake

SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
8Blind Melon

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE: Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.
9Paul Gilbert
Get out of My Yard

ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
10 A Perfect Circle
13th Step

ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone provided for you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
Around the Fur

EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

ENGLISH: Write an essay on the meanings behind and of James Joyce's Ulysses, and compare and contrast that work with Shakespeare's Love's Labors Found, Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass, and Rita Mae Brown's Ruby Fruit Jungle. Generalize and be specific.
14Animals as Leaders
Animals as Leaders

PHYSICS: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
15 Blotted Science
The Machinations of Dimentia

PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
Axe to Fall

COMPUTER SCIENCES: This test has circulated on the Internet for approximately 4 years. Trace its existence back to its original author and provide three forms of evidence proving authorship.
Times of Grace

EXTRA CREDIT: Define the universe; give three examples.
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