americanohno
Star-Spangled Kid
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Last Active 04-14-14 10:52 am
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Base Ball Predictions

Pitchers and catchers reported yesterday and Bourn signed yesterday so I'm fucking ready to do this. Lohse still hasn't signed but fuck 'im we'll do it w/o him. Your input and opinions are welcome/encouraged whatever let's get this the fuck done.
1AL WEST
Album


1st place: Angels - The bats are there. Pujols, Trumbo, Trout, Hamilton, Aybar. Shit man that's kinna terrifying. The pitching ain't too bad. Weaver/Wilson make for an alright 1-2 and Blanton and Vargas are solid back of the rotation types. Who knows what's gonna happen w/ Tommy Hanson. The pen is good. Conclusion: Overall really solid team on paper. Not overwhelming however and the As and Rangers will keep pace. Prediction: 91 wins.
2Son Volt
Okemah and the Melody of Riot


2nd place: Rangers - A worse team this year than last but made the smart decision not to mortgage the future. I like the Berkman signing if he stays healthy he's a better bat than Hamilton and brings to the lineup some much needed patience. I like Martin and Gentry, should be average-to-better MLB players. The back of the rotation is a question mark but I expect Darvish to completely kick ass this year. Pen is a plus. Prediction: 87 wins
3Pere Ubu
St. Arkansas


3rd place: Athletics - I like the Lowrie and Jaso aquisitions. Lowrie should stay healthy all his injuries have been flukey as hell, it is a little worrying that every year he suffers a flukey injury but remember he was a top-3 SS last year before the injury and will make a great super utility guy. They have a ton of depth at every position and should be able to weather injuries better than most teams. The rotation's really young and probably won't be as good as last year but Parker and Anderson obviously kickass. Prediction: 86 wins.
4Royal Trux
Accelerator


4th place Mariners - They definitely improved their team but I'm not sure by how much and whether it was really worth it. They got King Felix and they're keepin' him so that's good. I liked the Morales pick up I think he has a bounce back kinna year and I mean Morse can definitely hit. Oh and they got a guy named Charlie Furbush and he's pretty damn good. Prediction: 75 wins.
5Townes Van Zandt
Live at the Old Quarter, Houston, Texas


5th place: Astros - Ah my beloved Stros I think they make some improvemets this year even if that ain't apparent when just lookin' at the record. Justin Maxwell, Chris Carter, and Carlos Pena give the Astros some legitimate power even if Maxwell and Carter have never gotten a full time shot till this year. I think Lucas Harrell is underrated he had a 21% K rate and 66% groundball + infield fly rate in the second half of last year which is pretty incredible. A lot of guys who figure in the pen can throw 95+ mph heat which is always good. Prediction: 60 wins.
6AL CENTRAL
Album


1st: Tigers - They do what they were supposed to do last year and run away with this division. Prediction: 95 wins.
7Todd Snider
Step Right Up


2nd: Royals - Well I like James Shields and I think Wade Davis makes the bullpen to rotation switch successfully. Not worth Wil Meyers but hell. I still believe in Hosmer. Prediction: 83 wins.
8Various Artists (Country)
Country Funk 1969-1975


3rd: White Sox - Well I like Keppinger just fine (although his PECOTA projections are just awful) and Chris Sale is a fuckin' monster. Still the overall team is just mediocre. Prediction: 81 wins.
9Weezer
Pinkerton


4th - Indians - Probably had the best offseason of any team maybe. The outfield definsively will be awesome; Brantley/Bourn/Stubbs. They may forget what a double is in Cleavland. Jiminez and Masterson were awful last year and I'm not sure they can turn things around. If they can this is a surprise Wild Card contender. I like the Brett Myers signing and giving Kazmir and Matsuzaks a chance to prove they have something left in spring training ain't a bad idea. Prediction: 80 wins.
10Hood
Rustic Houses, Forlorn Valleys


5th: Twins. They gave Kevin Correia 10 million dollars. Prediction: 61 wins.
11AL WEST


1st Blue Jays - 90 wins
12Gram Parsons
Grievous Angel


2nd Rays - 87 wins
13Jack Clement
All I Want to Do in Life


3rd Yankees - 86 wins
14Devo
Duty Now for The Future


4th Orioles - 84 wins
15The Avett Brothers
Emotionalism


5th Red Sox - 77 wins
16NL WEST
Album


1st Dodgers - 91 wins
17Chuck Prophet
Temple Beautiful


2nd Giants - 90 wins
18Giant Sand
The Love Songs


3rd Diamondbacks - 85 wins
19Morphine
Good


4th Padres - 83 wins
20Woven Hand
Consider the Birds


5th Rockies - 65 wins
21NL CENTRAL
Album


1st Cardinals - 92 wins
22Stars
Set Yourself on Fire


2nd Reds - 90 wins
23Alela Diane
The Pirate's Gospel


3rd Pirates - 86 wins
24Bobby Charles
Bobby Charles


4th Brewers - 82 wins
25Simple Minds
The Best of Simple Minds


5th Cubs - 65 wins
26NL EAST
Album


1st Braves- 93 wins
27The Nation of Ulysses
13-Point Program to Destroy America


2nd Nationals - 92 wins
28 I
Ran


3rd Phillies - 83 wins
29 Out
Of


4th Mets - 66 wins
30 Music
To


5th Marlins - 61 wins
31 List
And shit


If you want reasons why I predicted what just ask or whatever
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