Puzzles
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Last Active 07-05-13 9:58 am
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05.01.13 Sputnik's Own Music Video 04.14.13 Took Mushrooms On A Balcony
02.14.13 No Country For Old Men, Wtf01.31.13 Irrational Fears
01.06.13 Growing My Hair Long12.04.12 Puzzles' Fantastical Best Of 2012
11.17.12 Rec Me New Or Awesome Music11.08.12 Koi No Yokan?
11.07.12 King Animal Or Black Gives Way To Blue?10.23.12 Life Is Hopeless
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Irrational Fears

Some people, like me, have really obsessive and internally conflicting personalities. I feel that it's a pain in the arse inside my head because I'm always a victim of my own thoughts - to the extent that I am often worried about things I shouldn't be. Here are some of my irrational/fairly unfounded fears that I jostle with from time to time.
1Smashing Pumpkins
Siamese Dream


Hair Loss - this is probably the worst, and I don't understand why I can't get over it. I have a full head of hair and juvenile hairline but for some reason I'm always checking my hair and making wild assumptions about if and when I'll start losing hair or whatever. I don't know why or how this started, but I can't shake this obsessive tendency. It is totally irrational and unfounded yet it consumes me. This has been going on for over a year now, I'm fucking sick of it.
2Jeff Buckley
Grace


Dying young - when I'm in a positive mindset and appreciating all I have, I tend to think I've got it too good and as a consequence, maybe I'll die young, like 30 or something. I think this is borne out of the observation that everybody has drawbacks in their life and the people who have it really good, either they've had to suffer from something terrible or they just die early.
3Nine Inch Nails
The Downward Spiral


Death of a relative - Whenever I have any sort of disagreement or conflict, I can't help but worry "what if they died and I never got the chance to apologise or we never made up". Or I think, "what if they found out they had cancer". This would be the most awful fucking thing ever, I think. Another of the recurring thoughts I can't shake.
4Ludwig van Beethoven
Late String Quartets


Losing my hearing - I already have around 30% loss, which is progressive, so sometimes I think about the probability that I'll be deaf by the time I'm 50. It's an issue (and rather ironic) because music is my absolute greatest passion, and although I could get cochlea implants, it's well documented that people with them can't process music as people with natural hearing do, so they don't really enjoy it anymore.
5Deftones
Koi No Yokan


Crippling accidents - this is only a minor one, but sometimes I have a sense of foreboding when stepping into a car, because it only takes one little mistake on either your part or the part of another driver to fuck you over for life. The same thing with bikes of any sort. It's not a consuming feeling, just a thought that pops into my head from time to time.
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