Sexual behavior and genders

[Noku]

During the past single year I've been "used" by dozen or something of non-single girls and only a few single girls.

It's always the same script. They come to tell you how cute you are, then they start to tell about how bad it is going with their boyfriend and how they are going to leave him soon.

Now you have two options A) Don't care about her not being single, or B) Tell her to leave her boyfriend first... the option B) unfortunately seems to lead that next time you see her, she will tell again how bad it is going with her boyfriend... and this will keep on happening as long as it has to...

If you start to sympathise with her, eventually she will "accidently" forget how fast the time is flowing and end up staying at your place over the night... or somewhere else. Then she will make up some lame excuse to sleep next to you, again accidently she starts telling nasty jokes or something like that, and she is so "a shamed" of her behavior. Then it gets physical and you know the rest... probably.

Point being... the easiest pick-ups in bars and parties are the girls with bad relationships. When some girl comes to bash her bf for you, the rest is pretty obvious, or at least in my experience it has been. I don't like cheating, but they make it sound like "you wouldn't actually be cheating because I am already going to leave him" etc. Also, I like challenges, this is way too easy for me and it is a very bad turn-off.

I have some theories why this happens so often to me...

First of all, because guys don't really mind wether or not they are having sex with single or non-single girl it makes it easier for non-single girls to cheat... For example, I haven't even known beforehand that some of the girls were dating someone already... If guys would have more strict attitude about cheating, it would at least be slightly harder for the non-single girls.

Another thing is that girls might be affraid of letting go of bad relationship because being alone would be even worse. That is why they do the "seek-for-new-partner" before the relationship ends. The "ex" won't become ex before the girl has found something worth trying.

Third, when you are non-single, acting flirty is kind of easier because you don't have to be embarrased of with whom you flirt... you don't have to be "actually interested" because you already have a bf. While when you are single you don't have any excuses for flirting, unless you are playing some games with your friends (who gets the most free drinks or something...). Also the bias of complements would be that the complements of single girls would be more meaningful or personal, while non-single girl could just tell you that you have a nice hair cut and that's all, it doesn't have to be any more meaningful.

Of course this is very provocative text, but in my opinnion it might hold some truth. Also, I am not sure if this is gender related or not. Just some results of my field research :nasty:

[dustindow]

sooo.......what are you trying to say, whats your whole point?

That half of the girls with a bf are just teases playing games?

[BassRevelation1029]

hm, interesting. I knew some along those lines, but honestly didnt look that far into it.

How old are you by the way? I think whether or not you're in college or junior high would make a difference.

[MAthiAS]

pnwi?

[italic zero]

it's a noku thread. His threads are unique to the point that he should really just have a subforum of his own.

[dustindow]

Originally Posted by italic zero

it's a noku thread. His threads are unique to the point that he should really just have a subforum of his own.

I second that notion!

[Riva]

I have the solution: Keep it on your pants.

[StrangelyBrewed13]

i dont really see what you're trying to say...if YOU dont like it dont do it.

[Mr. Ron]

I'd say women are more prone to cheat then men, actually.

[coheneran]

In answer to your dilemma of cheating, I look at it like this:

Monogamy is outdated, boring and constrictive. Polyamorous relationships are fun and more full of love, which is what it's all about anyway. If I wanted to fuck someone who was in a relationship, I wouldn't do it unless they initiated it, out of respect for their choice of relationship.

Buggery. I don't agree with the paragraph I just wrote, but I'll leave it for your perusal. I'm gonna have to re-evaluate my views on relationships. Anyone know where I can read some Emma Goldman essays?

[Aklerc]

A lady's input:

Girls like the security of a relationship. Someone to hold their hand and they just like to know someone is there for them.

However girls don't like being tied down. They are greedy, unsure of what they want and ALWAYS like attention.

My two cents.

[coheneran]

I never understood "the security" that is supposed to come with a relationship. I haven'y speculated much on it, and off the top of my head I can only think of the security of knowing that you have a fairly permanent person to bang.

[Aklerc]

Originally Posted by coheneran

I never understood "the security" that is supposed to come with a relationship. I haven'y speculated much on it, and off the top of my head I can only think of the security of knowing that you have a fairly permanent person to bang.

It's the idea that you KNOW someone is there for you and you KNOW that they care about, otherwise you wouldn't be in the relationship.

[Mr. Ron]

Originally Posted by coheneran

In answer to your dilemma of cheating, I look at it like this:

Monogamy is outdated, boring and constrictive. Polyamorous relationships are fun and more full of love, which is what it's all about anyway. If I wanted to fuck someone who was in a relationship, I wouldn't do it unless they initiated it, out of respect for their choice of relationship.

Buggery. I don't agree with the paragraph I just wrote, but I'll leave it for your perusal. I'm gonna have to re-evaluate my views on relationships. Anyone know where I can read some Emma Goldman essays?

I disagree with all of my heart. I believe that a couple can forge a relationship and love that 8 people cannot achieve together.

[Mr. Ron]

Originally Posted by Herbert_da_fish

A lady's input:

Girls like the security of a relationship. Someone to hold their hand and they just like to know someone is there for them.

However girls don't like being tied down. They are greedy, unsure of what they want and ALWAYS like attention.

My two cents.

So are you saying that women flirt and act unloyal to their men when the chance arises?

[23-inch dude]

It's strange that girls steel want that feeling of security, you'd say in these modern days, they have everything they want, but it isn't...

I don't think that women cheat more then men, or men more then women,
I do know that it is a very natural thing

[-1up!-]

Originally Posted by coheneran

In answer to your dilemma of cheating, I look at it like this:

Monogamy is outdated, boring and constrictive. Polyamorous relationships are fun and more full of love, which is what it's all about anyway. If I wanted to fuck someone who was in a relationship, I wouldn't do it unless they initiated it, out of respect for their choice of relationship.

Buggery. I don't agree with the paragraph I just wrote, but I'll leave it for your perusal. I'm gonna have to re-evaluate my views on relationships. Anyone know where I can read some Emma Goldman essays?

Interesting. I'd agree with this to some extent. Recently I've been thinking a bit about relations between males and females, and I've concluded that for me, love and sexual attraction are two separate, exclusive things. Example.

Let's say me and girl A go out together. A stable, loving, great relationship. I feel it would be okay for me to sleep with girl B, on some conditions: Girl A knows about it, and I allow her to do the same with other guys. In my eyes, cheating is overrated greatly, because love and sex are two different things. I'd adpot monogamy regarding love, but sex? I don't know. Sex is an instinctive desire while love is much more complex, and I can't see why sleeping with girl B (or C or D for that matter) would harm the love relationship between me and girl A, given that we both love each other exclusively. Love is commitment. Sex is great fun, no more.

I'm your postmodern kind of man. I actually doubt I'd find a postmodern girl with whom I could live that kind of relation, though... Ha.

Actually my last girlfriend was 1 year and a half ago and I haven't had sex since. Maybe I'm just in dire need of it.

[Aklerc]

Originally Posted by Mr. Ron

So are you saying that women flirt and act unloyal to their men when the chance arises?

Nope. It was a general statement. But in general, girls like a stable relationship but they also want fun and don't want to be tied down.

Notice I say girls. I'd say from about the age of 14-18 roughly :-/ But what doI know...

[Mr. Ron]

Originally Posted by Herbert_da_fish

Nope. It was a general statement. But in general, girls like a stable relationship but they also want fun and don't want to be tied down.

Notice I say girls. I'd say from about the age of 14-18 roughly :-/ But what doI know...

What do you mean by "fun"?

[Aklerc]

Originally Posted by Mr. Ron

What do you mean by "fun"?

Doing different things, experimenting and all that jazz. No teenager wants to be stuck in a boring monotonous relationship.