Beat your kids!

[FVG27]

The kids that are starting to appear in today's society in the last couple of years are awful. I'm not sure if it's the same in the states but their attitude and outlook on life is appauling(sp?). They get off on making other people's lives miserable and have no respect for anyone. It's absolutely disgusting. I've spoken to loads of teachers about it at my school and they've said that the kids in the past couple of years have been the worst they've ever seen. These kids that just have no respect need something to get them in their place. They have no fear of what will happen to them if they do something wrong and they know they can get away with everything. Some of them need to be put in their place.

[Jharaski]

Originally Posted by DBoon's Ghost

Define for us "defiance" and from what social malfunction it stems from and therein lies your answer. Lack of attention? My defiance in school and at home came from lots of stuff, most of which is very personal to me, but there it is all the same. I was a violent rude obnoxious little bastard in both grammar school and high school. I had to learn for myself though, and lucky for me it was early enough to make a change. I didn't get smacked for coughing or dress codes though. That much I can tell you.

It's a double edged sword if you look too deeply into it. Both parents working their butts off trying to make a better life for themselves and their families means less hands on parenting. You cannot rely on your local government and local community to parent for you, like it used to be in the old days. Now? If an adult decides to discipline a child in the community he gets sued, or shot by the kid. No one wants to die over someone else's child. Nor get sued. It aint worth it anymore. Everyone's lookin for that quick cash in. Or some other form of recognition.

Things are out of hand though. Too many kids are throwing their lives away just to get a rep. I've never seen so many young people so willing to throw their lives away simply so they can be remembered for some idiotic reputation or some form of respect or street cred. Kids want to get shot. They want scars. They want to get killed and have other people remember them as a thug or rough kid. That's insane, but that's what it's come to.

Of course. I do understand that viewpoint. But there is no perfect system. I just think that all in all, things will be better. Getting hit is what kept me in line when I was a little kid.

[DBoons Ghost]

Originally Posted by IdioticJester

Of course. I do understand that viewpoint. But there is no perfect system. I just think that all in all, things will be better. Getting hit is what kept me in line when I was a little kid.

If getting hit is what kept you in line, will you use the same pratice on your children?

If so, think of how they will come to understand conflict resolution. Within their social circles and as well, when they get older and find themselves in situations which will require some communication to resolve as oppsoed to beating the crap out of someone.

See my point?

If we end the ignorance of physical discipline, we can start to build a better world, simply by teaching our children how to resolve conflict without beating the crap out of everyone we see. That will end a great deal of violence in our society. Though, in the same token, less kids are raising their hands to one another and simply opt to shoot that person instead.

So.. What the hell do I know.

[Jharaski]

Originally Posted by DBoon's Ghost

If getting hit is what kept you in line, will you use the same pratice on your children?

If so, think of how they will come to understand conflict resolution. Within their social circles and as well, when they get older and find themselves in situations which will require some communication to resolve as oppsoed to beating the crap out of someone.

See my point?

If we end the ignorance of physical discipline, we can start to build a better world, simply by teaching our children how to resolve conflict without beating the crap out of everyone we see. That will end a great deal of violence in our society. Though, in the same token, less kids are raising their hands to one another and simply opt to shoot that person instead.

So.. What the hell do I know.

I will absolutely hit my kids. Everyone I know who was hit turned out great. It's obviously not going to be the first thing I do. I'm not going to be like "omg you're up 30 minutes past bedtime" and smack. It's when they refuse to listen that they will get hit. That doesn't mean you're teaching them violence. It just means you're showing them who's in charge. I understood that concept even when I was a little kid. I never once raised my fist against another kid.

[FVG27]

Originally Posted by DBoon's Ghost

If getting hit is what kept you in line, will you use the same pratice on your children?

If so, think of how they will come to understand conflict resolution. Within their social circles and as well, when they get older and find themselves in situations which will require some communication to resolve as oppsoed to beating the crap out of someone.

See my point?

If we end the ignorance of physical discipline, we can start to build a better world, simply by teaching our children how to resolve conflict without beating the crap out of everyone we see. That will end a great deal of violence in our society. Though, in the same token, less kids are raising their hands to one another and simply opt to shoot that person instead.

So.. What the hell do I know.

I got hit as a kid but I don't use violence to solve problems and nither do my friends that were hit. I had an argument with a few girls once about it, they were never smacked as kids and the amount of fights they've been in is unbelievable. As a child it was something to fear- I would get punished if I did something wrong. The fear of get a smacked hand stopped me doing wrong rather than having TV banned for a week. It hasn't done me harm.

[nowhesingsnowhesobs]

I will absolutely hit my kids. Everyone I know who was hit turned out great. It's obviously not going to be the first thing I do. I'm not going to be like "omg you're up 30 minutes past bedtime" and smack. It's when they refuse to listen that they will get hit. That doesn't mean you're teaching them violence. It just means you're showing them who's in charge. I understood that concept even when I was a little kid. I never once raised my fist against another kid.

In short, you're a moron.

Doesn't it occur to you that your personal observations might be suspect?

[DBoons Ghost]

I'm glad it worked out to your benefit.

I sorta feel the same way both of you do. I wasn't abused as a child in either school or at home. I got beatings when I deserved them. It hasn't made me a monster or anything.

Violence tends to beget violence though. Just because a select few of us who were "properly" disciplined physically understood the hows and whys doesn't mean the few that don't aren't gonna come out of an abusive household ok.

Thats what I suppose I was trying to say.

I tend to justify the really harsh beatings that way, but he didn't have to beat. A good smack is all you really need. There were times when I didn't deserve the beating I got, but I took it. It wasn't just me though. Whenever my mom did something he didn't like, he gave her the same.

So, I dunno.

[Jharaski]

Originally Posted by nowhesingsnowhesobs

In short, you're a moron.

Doesn't it occur to you that your personal observations might be suspect?

Uh kids need discipline. And getting hit is sometimes the only way to do it. Hitting =/= abuse. There's a difference between abusing your kids, such as by hitting them for accidently dropping the dishes, and hitting them for intentionally violating a rule.

[Jharaski]

Originally Posted by DBoon's Ghost

I'm glad it worked out to your benefit.

I sorta feel the same way both of you do. I wasn't abused as a child in either school or at home. I got beatings when I deserved them. It hasn't made me a monster or anything.

Violence tends to beget violence though. Just because a select few of us who were "properly" disciplined physically understood the hows and whys doesn't mean the few that don't aren't gonna come out of an abusive household ok.

Thats what I suppose I was trying to say.

I tend to justify the really harsh beatings that way, but he didn't have to beat. A good smack is all you really need. There were times when I didn't deserve the beating I got, but I took it. It wasn't just me though. Whenever my mom did something he didn't like, he gave her the same.

So, I dunno.

I think it's the other way around. MOST who are disciplined with being hit understand it and turn out ok. As I said, there's a difference between abuse and hitting.

[RouteOne]

Sometimes kids need a little slap on the butt. It does no harm when in moderation.

[FVG27]

The way I've observed and heard about (my mum is a domestic violence counsellor) when a child gets properly abused they tend to grow up into what happened to them. If a child gets disciplined, they will grow up and discipline. Think about the ones that weren't disciplined. They got away with everything they did, and every kid lashes out/looses their temper at some point. They'll just keep getting away with it and think it's fine. They're the ones that grow up to be violent, not the ones that were hit as a kid anyway. I'm not talking about lashings with a whip, just smack on the hand or the butt. That's the way I see it every day at school. And it's getting worse.

[lfantwister]

It seems that kids need to be instilled with a good sense of morals and respect, and violence isn't necessarily the right way to do this. I mean I guess it depends on the kid, but it seems to me like there's more effective ways to enforce your rules and emphasize that youre in charge than hitting them. But hell what do I know, I hate kids

[Dannyboy15]

I was hit when I was younger. I'm thankful for my parents for doing it.

It makes you think twice when you do things.

[thedeadwalk!]

Originally Posted by IdioticJester

Not always. My brother in law knew this family and the kid was a rotten spoied brat. He was babysitting him once, and the kid was being very rude and nasty, so he hit him WHAM right across the face. That kid never acted out again, even his parents said so. They asked him what he did to make it stop, and he told them.. the mom flipped, but the dad was happy SOMEONE did it.

The problem wasn't that he wasn't being spanked, he was spoiled. His parents catered to everything he wanted. What do you expect? It's not as extreme as some kinds of abuse and neglect but is detrimental to children all the same. Had he learned some life-lessons earlier in life, he wouldn't be in a position to be hit now.

[RouteOne]

Originally Posted by lfantwister

It seems that kids need to be instilled with a good sense of morals and respect, and violence isn't necessarily the right way to do this. I mean I guess it depends on the kid, but it seems to me like there's more effective ways to enforce your rules and emphasize that youre in charge than hitting them. But hell what do I know, I hate kids

Actually, a little bit of force is the most direct and simple way to teach kids not to do certain things. It sounds "mean", but occasional spankings in the end do good for the kid.

[Jharaski]

Originally Posted by thedeadwalk!

The problem wasn't that he wasn't being spanked, he was spoiled. His parents catered to everything he wanted. What do you expect? It's not as extreme as some kinds of abuse and neglect but is detrimental to children all the same. Had he learned some life-lessons earlier in life, he wouldn't be in a position to be hit now.

Spoiled, also as in he refused to ever obey what he was told to do. After being hit, he learned.

[nowhesingsnowhesobs]

Actually, a little bit of force is the most direct and simple way to teach kids not to do certain things. It sounds "mean", but occasional spankings in the end do good for the kid.

and you know this how?

[Egggo]

Originally Posted by DBoon's Ghost

That's moronic. It solved nothing then and will solve nothing now. You know what will? Decent parenting. It's not even something that requires some greater higher form of education. It's simply a matter of wanting to be somewhat involved in your child's life.


Thats all.

And I got beatings from both parents and teachers and it was the least helpful thing I can recall from those years. All it made me do was hate catholicism and hate my parents for not parenting. Everything was a beating. It didn't help at all.

I know you're half kidding. However, it's not anyone's responsibility but the parents to properly discipline and educate your child on matters of social responsibility. Respect for elders should come naturally, and kids who are decidedly going the "hoodlum" route are falling prey to MTV and the culture they are selling. It's up to parents to work those kids' brains otherwise, and it's not happening.


As a parent, I think beatings are retarded. As a child who was both beaten by parents and teachers alike, I can promise you it changed nothing. In fact, as stated, it made it worse.

Beautifully said.

Classical (and operant) conditioning might work on rats and dogs, but do you really want to compare a child to a rat or a dog?

[thedeadwalk!]

Originally Posted by IdioticJester

Spoiled, also as in he refused to ever obey what he was told to do. After being hit, he learned.

Which comes from a lack of authority of the parents, physical or not.

[RouteOne]

Originally Posted by nowhesingsnowhesobs

and you know this how?

If you're too soft with a kid and dare not touch them on occasions where they deserved to be disciplined, you're not doing your job as a parent.