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Old 02-04-2016, 09:44 AM   #1
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I Wish Mario Was Real Support Group

God Knows there is nowhere else to turn in this world. This thread is for you.
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Old 02-04-2016, 09:45 AM   #2
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I suffer every day and night because Mario is not a living man. If you have a story to share please share it.
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Old 02-04-2016, 09:49 AM   #3
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The cruelest joke is that Mario is designed like a real man you could see anywhere but never will.
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Old 02-04-2016, 10:29 AM   #4
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face it, Mario is the guy you remember as children who came into your house to fix the leaky pipe in your Mother's kitchen. He had baggy pants and his ass was laid bare and you were never the same.

That was Mario.

Sorry to break it to you, kid.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:07 AM   #5
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No, Mario is the guy from Mario. Not everybody who does a certain job is the same person. Jesus Fucking Christ.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:10 AM   #6
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The cruelest joke is that Mario is designed like a real man you could see anywhere but never will.


Well you've never been to Wal Mart at 4 in the morning then.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:12 AM   #7
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Those are different people.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:13 AM   #8
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I'm honestly not sure what the fuck you guys think you're talking about.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:13 AM   #9
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How do you know though man? How do you know?
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:15 AM   #10
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The point of this group is not to give each other hope that Mario could exist. We both know that's not going to happen. You're taking this and turning it into something it's not.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:16 AM   #11
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Implying there isn't a plumber named Mario that eats mushrooms, bangs a girl named peach, murders turtles, plays with fire, gets big and small when he wants and has a strange obsession with stars living somewhere on earth.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:20 AM   #12
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He doesn't ever bang Peach. Play the games before you run your mouth.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:21 AM   #13
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:21 AM   #14
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So you're telling me at the end castle when fireworks are going off he's not getting some? No you're right. They're playing scattergories while getting to "know" each other.

Pshaw
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:22 AM   #15
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Not Mario.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:23 AM   #16
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Well it sure as fuck isn't Luigi.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:23 AM   #17
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:24 AM   #18
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:25 AM   #19
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Just men dressed like Mario. If I gave a shit about that I wouldn't have needed to make the thread.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:26 AM   #20
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Sounds like you are confused Nazr.

That's fucking Mario.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:27 AM   #21
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So you're telling me at the end castle when fireworks are going off he's not getting some? No you're right. They're playing scattergories while getting to "know" each other.

Pshaw
The fireworks go off when the timer is displaying a certain number after you complete the level. It doesn't matter whether the princess is there or not. But thanks for your valuable contribution.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:28 AM   #22
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Doesn't matter? That's the entire premise of the fucking game dude. How would you not know that? Why would he be chasing her around if he didn't want to bone her?

You're delusional.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:31 AM   #23
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Yeah the only reason anyone would put their life in danger to try to save the life of another is because they want to bang that person. Not because they're selfless heroes who would risk anything to do what's right. That can't be it.
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:32 AM   #24
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I wish Mario was here to stomp you into a fucking paste.
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Old 02-04-2016, 01:05 PM   #25
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He's not here he's busy making a batch for princess peach and no one who isn't insane would risk their lives jumping over cliffs, dodging fireballs and cannons with mean faces to do someone a favor unless money or sex were involved and I don't recall Peach paying him one fucking penny so you know Damn well what she did for him.
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Old 02-04-2016, 05:37 PM   #26
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Someone so good and pure that they would put it all on the line to save a woman's life and ask nothing in return. I guess it's hard to understand when you're just a soulless, craven fuck. Literally more worm than human
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Old 02-04-2016, 05:38 PM   #27
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Anyway I'm sorry I was rude earlier. That's not what this group is about
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Old 02-11-2016, 09:31 PM   #28
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Aiwaz, I'd like to counter. Perhaps years ago, Mario and his old best friend, like a brother were knights of the realm. His friend dies in a sword fight and the last thing he says before he dies is , "Take care of my girl!Don't let anything happen to her!"

So when Princess Toadstool is taken by dinosaurs, Mario to honor his friend from the grave, and to save her sacred honor, goes on a homicidal dinosaur-killing spree to save the Princess.

Not likely you say? Neither is getting kidnapped by dinosaurs but I don't see you critiquing that!

But you're probably right that they're going to bang. I just wanted to provide a different take.
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Old 02-11-2016, 09:35 PM   #29
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Aiwaz is right though. You're sick, dude. If it's really eating away at you this bad, I'm pretty sure there are medications out there that could help. They can make the pain go away, although you might lose a lot of the emotional experiences good and bad, and everything becomes gray. But if you can get stabilized and live a better quality life than you're experiencing now, it's worth looking into.
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Old 06-09-2017, 09:37 PM   #30
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Aiwaz you need to answer for the fucked up things you said in here.
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