Challenge 82 - Voting

smelnlykthebassist
TheTitan
RunAmokRampant
addicted_tochaos
Eleventeen
BrokenSaint
HighVoltageRockNRoll
TheACafe
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
Bigbadbob
Necroses-bass
SubtleDagger
SmackU2
pixiesfanyo
d0ped0g
k.s.e.

More people enter these now, it's gettin' crazy, methinks.

[i am the robots]

smelnlykthebassist 7/10 - 6th
TheTitan 5.5/10 - 9th
RunAmokRampant 7.5/10 -5th
addicted_tochaos 8.5/10 - 3rd
Eleventeen - power metal lol
BrokenSaint 6/10 - 8th
HighVoltageRockNRoll 3/10 -10th
TheACafe 2/10 - 11th
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger 8/10 - 4th
Bigbadbob - no song
Necroses-bass - 12th
SubtleDagger 10/10 - 1st
SmackU2 5.5/10 - 9th
pixiesfanyo 9/10 - 2nd
d0ped0g 6.5/10 - 7th
k.s.e. 6/10 - 8th

all of them wrote songs?, I've only read a few so far.'

Some were good, some were very very very lacking, mine was just cheesey

[RunAmokRampant]

Smelnykthebassist 6.5/10 7th
The title doesn’t provoke any kind of initial interest to me probably because it’s a bit generic and predictable title. The content however is more substantiated than the title suggests. A simple 4-line stanza structure is a good start for a song but a little variation would have been better. Chorus is ok but could have summarised the basis of your topic more effectively. This is an ok first effort.

TheTitan 6/10 10th
Interesting title and an ok chorus but I can’t make sense of the very first line. The sun doesn’t rise up at night. If it has some meaning to it, I don’t understand it. The way you use the challenge word isn’t too creative either. Even though it does fit well with the Albino statement, (white with pink eyes) it just doesn’t stick out too well. Actually I think the whole 4th stanza should’ve been scrapped. A bit too overused really.

Addicted_tochaos 8/10 3rd
I enjoyed reading this. Quite a different stance on the topic and set out quite differently too. The repetition of the last 3 lines I don’t like much. Repeating twice is okay but to me any more than that, it gets annoying. Especially in choruses but that doesn’t apply to you. Overall pretty decent.

Eleventeen 6.3/10 8th
A lot of improvement I see. But it seems a little too ambitious and too descriptive throughout the content. But I liked the last stanza, it’s the strongest part of your song I think as it sums up the topic effectively.

BrokenSaint 6.1/10 9th
Hmm this is the second time I’ve seen the word scarlet referring to the eyes. I’m guessing that this eva person either went crazy because of taking drugs and/or was killed. Not a bad song, would fit well with music. Is this based on a true story of yours? Flows well but lacks imagery.

HighVoltageRockNroll 5.5/10 11th
Another scarlet/eyes reference. What is happening here? I don’t particularly like the chorus in this. Sounds like Chemical Brothers techno. I don’t like techno but the rest of the song I would have to say is ok, but nothing really special leaps out. Too much of this “Gonna change the world” business. The song has too much of that in it. A little variation in the representation of topic would’ve been better too

TheACafe 5.3/10 12th
This song sounds way too forced. It’s hard to decipher what you’re trying to say hear. A song about age? This song is quite short (nothing bad about that) but the structure is stone cold. Some interesting lines though.

Mighty Morphin Power Ranger 7.8/10 5th
Quite an interesting song here. Used some strange wording in this, which can be good or bad depending whether the person reading can be bothered to concentrate. At least its short so it doesn’t stray off and the two 2 line parts make it easier to read. Even though I do get lost on your song, its phrased pretty well but lacks the emotional tug that songs IMO should have. There’s no real feeling in it.

Necroses-bass 5/10 13th
Hmm a song about a prostitute? Ok this doesn’t have too much inspiration and this line “Trees whisper their opinion” makes no sense at all regarding to the song. It sticks out and I dislike it. Your 5th stanza is the only part I though was ok. Chorus is bit shabby and overall the song isn’t that cleverly written.

SubtleDagger 8.5/10 2nd
Is this a story? It’s got quite a pirate feel to this and atmosphere is generated pretty well. It is a well written song like always but 1 thing I want to point out is that you have too many stanza beginning with and. Some variation would’ve been better but that’s just me. You work in a story within a song very well.

SmackU2 3/10 14th
This song is spread out way too much and really doesn’t live up to anything really. Not particularly clever in any form or shape. Pretty mediocre but keep trying to improve

Pixiesfanyo 7.7/10 6th
This is an okay song; I find it bit over the top in the romantic section. Some good metaphorical language though which is good and I like the 4th stanza. Overall it is good, not the best, but decent.

dOpedOg 7.9/10 4th
Quite an interesting topic, set out in an interesting way. Don’t know why the 3rd verse is italic but IMO is the strongest part. I’m thinking that probably would have been a better chorus. The last part is also good in a well thought out song.

k.s.e 9/10 1st
What can I say? Last entry was my favourite. Enjoyed it from start to finish

[DFelon204409]

Hahha nobody has voted yet and it's due tonight.

[k.s.e.]

Remember kids... its cool to vote.

smelnlykthebassist 5.8 / 5
TheTitan 5.5 / 8
RunAmokRampant 5.7 / 6
addicted_tochaos 6.2 / 2
Eleventeen 4.4 / 14
BrokenSaint 5.4 / 9
HighVoltageRockNRoll 5.3 / 10
TheACafe 5.1 / 11
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger 5.6 / 7
Necroses-bass 4.5 / 13
SubtleDagger 6.0 / 3
SmackU2 4.6 / 12
pixiesfanyo 6.3 / 1
d0ped0g 5.9 / 4

[pixiesfanyo]

From 7 - 14 should all basically be treated as shit.

I feel the same about them all.


smelnlykthebassist 12
TheTitan 13
RunAmokRampant 14
addicted_tochaos 4
Eleventeen 11
BrokenSaint 10
HighVoltageRockNRoll 8
TheACafe 9
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger 6
Necroses-bass 8
SubtleDagger 1
SmackU2 7
d0ped0g 5
k.s.e. 2

[d0ped0g]

smelnlykthebassist - 6.7/10
TheTitan - 6/10
RunAmokRampant 6.2/10
addicted_tochaos - 7.2/10
Eleventeen - 6.5/10
BrokenSaint - 6.4/10
HighVoltageRockNRoll - 5.5/10
TheACafe - 5.7/10
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger - 7/10
Necroses-bass - 5.9/10
SubtleDagger - 7.4/10
SmackU2 - 5.8/10
pixiesfanyo - 7.8/10
k.s.e. - 6.9/10


RANKINGS:
1. pixiesfanyo
2. SubtleDagger
3. addicted_tochaos
4. Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
5. k.s.e.
6. smelnlykthebassist
7. Eleventeen
8. BrokenSaint
9. RunAmokRampant
10. TheTitan
11. Necroses-bass
12. SmackU2
13. TheACafe
14. HighVoltageRockNRoll

[ATC]

smel- 3/10 -11
titan- 5/10 -9
RAR- 6/10 -6
11T- 5.5/10 -7
BS- 4.5/10 -10
HiVR&R -3/10 -12
AC- 5/10 -8
MMPR- 6/10 -4
Nec- 2/10 -13
SD- 8/10 -1
Smack- 1.5/10 -14
Pix-6/10 -5
Doped- 6.5/10 -3
kse- 7.5/10 -2

I'm in a bit of a rush or i would have critted. Might revise the lower scores cos a few of them showed a bit more promise than the scores indicate and might need a crit. If i dont do it in a day, ignore the last sentence.

[CSD & the Soul Machines]

7-Smelnyk
-Not awful, not much feeling, too distant

11-Titan
-not too bad for a first song/post...just not as good as others, keep writing though

6-RunAmok
-First two stanzas are good, then goes downhill

2-ATC
-Good stuff. Good imagery...yeah

9-11teen
-not a fan of the rhymn scheme...some lines seem forced.

13-Broken
-Sounds like a Good Charlotte song=not good

10-HighVoltage
-You can do it!

8-TheACafe
-I don't really have an opinion on this...

12-Necro
-We in the red-light district

1-Subtle
-Argh. I like ye song matey

14-SmackMe
-YoU WIn!1!11! The I used the topic word the most in my song award

3-pixie
-Pretty good. I've seen better from you. Even so, it's better than most here.

4-d0pe
-It's well-worded don't get me wrong, but I have a hard time seeing this sung
Anyways it is good.

5-kse
-Not too shabby. Liked the 3rd verse the best.

[Necroses-bass]

Subtle dagger 1
awesome

K.S.E. 2
I'm liking it

Pixiesfanyo 3
Good use of poetic devices

Addicted Tochaos 4
Interesting and some good stuff but can't get my head round the rhythm

Mighty Morphin Power Ranger 5
It's different, i like it

RunAmokRampant 6
Good ideas, but long words make the rhythm fall back to a biambic structure,
Enjambment used ok could be improved maybe split the line at a different word

Smelnykthebassist 7
that many 4 line stanza's make the reader/listener wander of a bit

The Titan 8
Powerfull ideas but they were used too early in the song

Broken saint 9
Imperfect cadence in the chorus was a bit too daring

Eleventeen 10
Hmmmmmm

SmackU2 11
Longwinded

D0ped0g 12
Czeura used ok but thats about it

The A Cafe 13
AAA rhyme scheme in a 12 bar blues structure?
(don't know if u ment it to be a 12 bar blues structure but it comes across as it)

High voltage 14
Do you like Muse, cuz if you do you should be ashamed, straight rip off from butterflies and Hurricanes

i didn't give a decent crit for everyone because i don't really have the right to speak after such a **** entry. And what i did state were things that really stuck out but there are more things which will surely be discussed by someone else.

I heavily agree with pixies, except I think basically every song I voted 5th to 14th is bad. It was near impossible to rate them.

smelynlykthebassist - 7th
No rhythm, no flow. Word choice is interesting, but structure is just not good enough.
TheTitan - 6th
Angsty, but at least it's not too much of a burden to read. Still not good.
RunAmokRampant - 8th
It's decent as far as writing goes, but an obvious idea like this doesn't need to be dragged on for so long. I got your point after the first couple lines and grew tired of it halfway through the second stanza.
atc - 9th
This song is so pretentious-sounding it's embarassing. The repeated line at the end is awful and doesn't even fit the rest of the song in any way.
Eleventeen - 10th
The rhythm you're going for is horrendously flawed. It ruins just about the entire piece.
BrokenSaint - 13th
You used "breaking down". My cardinal rule is that if I see "breaking down" anywhere in a piece, I usually drop it near the bottom of the list. Perhaps you'll break down over it. :'(
HighvoltageRocknRoll - 12th
Thanks for the inspirational babble, 3 Doors Down. Wait, I really mean that no one wants to hear your boring song, because I hear it on soft rock stations all the time, and you're not making it any better.
TheACafe - 11th
Stop rhyming. When you start searching through the alphabet for rhyming words, it's nature's way of telling you not to rhyme anything ever again.
MMPR - 2nd
Thanks for the break from all the terrible garbage.
Necroses-bass - 5th
The only reason this got 5th is because it's the only bad song that doesn't have forced rhymes, terrible rhythm or pretentious nonsense. It's still meh.
SmackU2 - 14th
Thanks for bringing us back to the terrible garbage.
pixiesfanyo - 1st
It's good.
d0ped0g - 4th
Better than most of the songs, but you reuse old words too much and rely too much on imagery.
k.s.e - 3rd
Good, I'm not a big fan of free verse but can still respect this.