Contradict

CofDdrums12 · 11-05-2004, 07:51 PM

Hm...the meaning of the song is too weird to explain, but not too hard to figure out I guess. I dunno, make up your own meaning I guess. And crit. please b/c I'll crit. yours

----------------
I go from crazy to just plain ordinary
Changing so much, I must admit it scares me
But I don’t mind as long as you care
Besides, in my mind, it adds a little flair
You say I’m a pain like it’s a decree
You try so hard to explain and define me
Nothing can, so stop thinking you will
You need to drop it; be like me and chill
You constantly tell me that I drive you insane
And always dwell on what’s inside my brain
You’ve got me caught, ‘cause I’m not even sure
Sometimes my thoughts spin into a blur
And I love the fact that you can’t figure me out
I change my act just to give you more doubt
But I’m cautious enough to plan out my diction
Leaving you nauseous and without a depiction

This is how I’ve always been
Why do you act so surprised?
Just cause I’m alive within
And keep it so well disguised
Maybe you could learn from me
And not be so concerned
Simply return to being free
There’s lots you’ve yet to learn

There are so many words you’ve thrown my way
Is there anything you have yet to say?
I’ve heard it all, most of it coming from you
You can’t make me fall, so why do what you do?
Isn’t it obvious I purposely contradict?
You get so furious that I’m hard to predict
But this how I always wanted it to be
Excitement strays when you’re constant constantly

This is how I’ve always been
Why do you act so surprised?
Just cause I’m alive within
And keep it so well disguised
Maybe you could learn from me
And not be so concerned
Simply return to being free
There’s lots you’ve yet to learn
----------------
Later for you.

CofDdrums12 · 11-05-2004, 09:09 PM

Bump.

CofDdrums12 · 11-06-2004, 11:51 AM

Bump.

Come on, someone's gotta crit. it

You know I'll crit. yours.
Later for you.

CofDdrums12 · 11-06-2004, 05:54 PM

Bump!
K@#$%!

PbEknight777 · 11-06-2004, 07:23 PM

dude nice fvcking rhymes, every line

i am sincerely amazed....

PbEknight777 · 11-06-2004, 07:34 PM

i edited my newest song, can you take a look at it

sparkylp2002 · 11-06-2004, 08:02 PM

I think this is a good song, the flow of the song is good. The things i didnt like are: the line "changing so much I must admit it scares me" it seems a bit cliché. Also I dont like

"This is how I’ve always been
Why do you act so surprised?
Just cause I’m alive within
And keep it so well disguised
Maybe you could learn from me
And not be so concerned
Simply return to being free
There’s lots you’ve yet to learn"

That part just sounds a bit weak compared to the rest of the song. Besides those two thing the song is good.

Here is a link to my song
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=261357

CrashingDown213 · 11-06-2004, 08:18 PM

Dude, I think this is really good, especially the first introductory stanza, very well written with some very good rhymes.
These were my favorite lines in the song:

Quote:

I go from crazy to just plain ordinary
Changing so much, I must admit it scares me
But I don’t mind as long as you care
Besides, in my mind, it adds a little flair

Even though the chorus wasn't really too bad, it just seemed boring compared to the rest of the song, although I have no suggestions on how to change it.
Overall, nice work man, 8/10
Keep Writing
Please Crit: http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=261505

Disco Dragon · 11-06-2004, 10:59 PM

I think that you have some good ideas in this song, but they just aren't expressed as well as they could be. I think what is really limiting you is the rhyming structure. Generally, and this can't be said for ALL songs, but most of them that use this type of rhyming tend to sound forced and meaningless. Yours doesn't neccessarily sound meaningless, but it does sound forced in a lot of parts. Especially with lines like "Nothing can, so stop thinking you will/You need to drop it; be like me and chill". You're sacrificing for the sake of rhyming, which is never a good thing.

But as I said, you do have some good ideas in here that are waiting to be brought out and shown in a better light. Lines like "Excitement strays when you’re constant constantly" are little rays of hope that I see in this song.

My suggestion to you would be to go back and write this song without any sort of rhyme structure at all. See if you still have the same meaning by the time you're done with it. If not, then you probably didn't really say what you wanted to say the first time. Just a suggestion, but hopefully it will help.

factor46 · 11-07-2004, 06:08 AM

I like the way you wrote this song. Except for all the rhyming. The wording and structurization was great, and the flow seemed to be on the money.

The first verse was very nicely written, although it had a little bit of slang in there. I don't like that in songs. ex:

"chill"
...yeah.

The chorus was alright, but a little boring and cliche.

But overall, this song is good. I'd give it a 6.8/10

Thanks for critiquing my song too by the way.

11-05-2004, 07:51 PM	#1
CofDdrums12 Some guy Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 304	Contradict Hm...the meaning of the song is too weird to explain, but not too hard to figure out I guess. I dunno, make up your own meaning I guess. And crit. please b/c I'll crit. yours ---------------- I go from crazy to just plain ordinary Changing so much, I must admit it scares me But I don’t mind as long as you care Besides, in my mind, it adds a little flair You say I’m a pain like it’s a decree You try so hard to explain and define me Nothing can, so stop thinking you will You need to drop it; be like me and chill You constantly tell me that I drive you insane And always dwell on what’s inside my brain You’ve got me caught, ‘cause I’m not even sure Sometimes my thoughts spin into a blur And I love the fact that you can’t figure me out I change my act just to give you more doubt But I’m cautious enough to plan out my diction Leaving you nauseous and without a depiction This is how I’ve always been Why do you act so surprised? Just cause I’m alive within And keep it so well disguised Maybe you could learn from me And not be so concerned Simply return to being free There’s lots you’ve yet to learn There are so many words you’ve thrown my way Is there anything you have yet to say? I’ve heard it all, most of it coming from you You can’t make me fall, so why do what you do? Isn’t it obvious I purposely contradict? You get so furious that I’m hard to predict But this how I always wanted it to be Excitement strays when you’re constant constantly This is how I’ve always been Why do you act so surprised? Just cause I’m alive within And keep it so well disguised Maybe you could learn from me And not be so concerned Simply return to being free There’s lots you’ve yet to learn ---------------- Later for you.

11-06-2004, 07:23 PM	#5
PbEknight777 -53 rep points yay! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Zimmerman, Minnesota Posts: 158	dude nice fvcking rhymes, every line i am sincerely amazed.... Last edited by PbEknight777; 11-06-2004 at 07:29 PM.

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11-05-2004, 09:09 PM	#2
CofDdrums12 Some guy Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 304	Bump.

11-06-2004, 11:51 AM	#3
CofDdrums12 Some guy Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 304	Bump. Come on, someone's gotta crit. it You know I'll crit. yours. Later for you.

11-06-2004, 05:54 PM	#4
CofDdrums12 Some guy Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 304	Bump! K@#$%!

11-06-2004, 07:34 PM	#6
PbEknight777 -53 rep points yay! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Zimmerman, Minnesota Posts: 158	i edited my newest song, can you take a look at it

11-06-2004, 08:02 PM	#7
sparkylp2002 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 662	I think this is a good song, the flow of the song is good. The things i didnt like are: the line "changing so much I must admit it scares me" it seems a bit cliché. Also I dont like "This is how I’ve always been Why do you act so surprised? Just cause I’m alive within And keep it so well disguised Maybe you could learn from me And not be so concerned Simply return to being free There’s lots you’ve yet to learn" That part just sounds a bit weak compared to the rest of the song. Besides those two thing the song is good. Here is a link to my song http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=261357

11-06-2004, 10:59 PM	#9
Disco Dragon Bananas in pajamas... Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Iowa Posts: 561	I think that you have some good ideas in this song, but they just aren't expressed as well as they could be. I think what is really limiting you is the rhyming structure. Generally, and this can't be said for ALL songs, but most of them that use this type of rhyming tend to sound forced and meaningless. Yours doesn't neccessarily sound meaningless, but it does sound forced in a lot of parts. Especially with lines like "Nothing can, so stop thinking you will/You need to drop it; be like me and chill". You're sacrificing for the sake of rhyming, which is never a good thing. But as I said, you do have some good ideas in here that are waiting to be brought out and shown in a better light. Lines like "Excitement strays when you’re constant constantly" are little rays of hope that I see in this song. My suggestion to you would be to go back and write this song without any sort of rhyme structure at all. See if you still have the same meaning by the time you're done with it. If not, then you probably didn't really say what you wanted to say the first time. Just a suggestion, but hopefully it will help.

11-07-2004, 06:08 AM	#10
factor46 faces on. Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: North Port, Florida. Posts: 1,342	I like the way you wrote this song. Except for all the rhyming. The wording and structurization was great, and the flow seemed to be on the money. The first verse was very nicely written, although it had a little bit of slang in there. I don't like that in songs. ex: "chill" ...yeah. The chorus was alright, but a little boring and cliche. But overall, this song is good. I'd give it a 6.8/10 Thanks for critiquing my song too by the way.