Challenge 77: Voting

What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am. I never meant to be so cold.

/cries

xKONRADx
A_Perfect_Sonnet
pixiesfanyo
Disco Dragon
ta'ao
Deathapalooza
TrailOfTragedy
Eleventeen
SubtleDagger
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
Linsey
chips88
addicted_tochaos

EDIT: Remover losersk8er, he didn't use the word.

[xKONRADx]

xKONRADx - 1st yay! no.

A_Perfect_Sonnet - suprizingly good. i like the first part, though when i usually see things like that in songs, it puts me off.

pixiesfanyo - not much, good, but i think the ending wasnt as good as it could be.

Disco Dragon - guillotine? that was so like 2 or 3 challenges ago. anyway, the song was nice. i think that is the right word, nice.

ta'ao - meh, it was good. but i think its too... i dont know how to put it. plus those () parts sucked.

Deathapalooza - meh. yep. meh. not bad, but challenges should be special.

TrailOfTragedy - to be honest i didnt like the repetition, i think this could have been alot better if you reformatted it. hm but i dont know...

Eleventeen - i dont know. i didnt really like it. i suggest spending time in the S&L before your next challenge.

SubtleDagger - midway i was thinking that i wish you would use a different style of how you phrase things. but towards the end it was more appropriate. still damn good.

Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger - some parts were good. others werent (the out-doubt-out). and some didnt make sense to me( the spouting of blood) so its got potential, but needs revision.

Linsey - its good. but like i said to someone else, it should be something special. though i think this ones better than the other one i said that about.

chips88 - the intro has too many i's and it's. meh. i think if you put more time into something it would be better.

addicted_tochaos - i always like your stuff. but this seems... unlike you somehow... i dont like it compared to your other stuff, but its not last place.



xKONRADx - x
A_Perfect_Sonnet -4
pixiesfanyo -3
Disco Dragon -2
ta'ao -7
Deathapalooza -11
TrailOfTragedy -9
Eleventeen -12
SubtleDagger - 1
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger -6
Linsey - 8
chips88 -10
addicted_tochaos -5

[i am the robots]

xKONRADx
A_Perfect_Sonnet
ta'ao
Disco Dragon
pixiesfanyou
Eleventeen
Deathapalooza
TrailOfTragedy
losersk8er032
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
SubtleDagger
chips88
Linsey
addicted_tochaos

[pixiesfanyo]

xKONRADx - 1st yay!
A_Perfect_Sonnet
pixiesfanyo
Disco Dragon
ta'ao
Deathapalooza
TrailOfTragedy
losersk8er032
Eleventeen
SubtleDagger
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
Linsey
chips88
addicted_tochaos

mehr...******

[ATC]

xkonradx- intriguing. *holds breath anyway*. not poetic to be poetic, not song-y enough to be a song. but i like. in a weird way that you like avant-garde french art. or weird performance art. more grey poupon?

a perfect sonnet- i find the fast breathy whisper part to not fit the song. you should have made it a despairing look at erosion of life, values, whatever. ps: i can see the connection, just not mine. the whole 'they', 'cold' and a bunch of other images seem to suggest that. if you exclude that and look at the song itself, its sketchy with redeeming moments. i recommend you check out nevermore.
your allusion to you as a rose, nice.

pixies- short but oh so sweet. dredg to me.

disco- first off, nice use of the challenge word. very nice images, coherent. but i dunno, something missing.

ta'ao- please, please avoid scat imagery, if that was what the **** was. its a pretty interesting piece. some unnecessary elements in the first verse but it straightens out. not a universal incubus.

deathapalooza- nicely flowing piece which could very easily get to radio. my only gripe is that ts maybe too simple and easy, not that its a bad thing, but add a second layer and you're set.

trail- as spoken word, maybe. as song, not entirely.

losersk8- will vote for scotch.

eleven- hmm doesnt work for me.

subtle- good. somedays love. remember the chocolates that you dont remember cos they were great? its kinda like that. doubt the replay value on this one. still, dam'ned good.

mmpr- double homocide? i loved the verse with all the glads. absolutely loved it. its intriguing since it might even imply suicide to complete the double thing. doublethink. funky nice.
ps: you're republican with a sense of humor, arent you? say yes and i vote you last. say no and you get first.

linsey- you're not re-inventing the wheel here, but its a good attempt. could work easily, flows, structure etc. very ordered. one more layer/ an intriguing line...

chips- like you said, hurried. why would a bottle of scotch help you extract vengeance on an alcoholic? obviously, easier to fcuk, murder, whatever..but do you need it? kinda makes the use of the challenge word
seem...hmm. unless the bottle is a metaphor for your *****, in which case..
take your time, hurry up, the next challenge, the choice is yours, dont be late.

addicted_tochaos- i love myself and want to die.

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

xKONRADx
A_Perfect_Sonnet
pixiesfanyo
Disco Dragon
ta'ao
Deathapalooza
TrailOfTragedy
Eleventeen
SubtleDagger
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
Linsey
chips88
addicted_tochaos

[i am the robots]

I think konrad won for some reason...

[CSD & the Soul Machines]

xKONRADx-7th
A_Perfect_Sonnet-6th
pixiesfanyo-3rd
Disco Dragon-2nd
ta'ao-5th
Deathapalooza-8th
TrailOfTragedy-9th
Eleventeen-12th
SubtleDagger-1st
Linsey-11th
chips88-10th
addicted_tochaos-4th

If you wanna know why...Don't fucking ask me

[i am the robots]

Oopsy sorry... I'm a noob... even though I have so many posts. I have nothing better to do during the weak.

[Permanent Solution]

Originally Posted by Mighty Morphin Power Ranger

Those arent the votes. You huge dummyface.

/me gives MMPR a rep point

[chips88]

Originally Posted by Mighty Morphin Power Ranger

Those arent the votes. You huge dummyface.

being a n00b to the lyrics challenge, then what are they?

[metaliq]

Seeing this thread is going supose to be for voting only.. no posting twice... *sigh*...

Ill answer your question chips88. It seems to me that Konrad added the comment to his list of people, and people who didnt notice copied it for their list.... He was referring to the list of people I am sure anyway... (first on the list...) and I may vote... here is the list (from konrad).

xKONRADx - 1st yay!
A_Perfect_Sonnet
pixiesfanyo
Disco Dragon
ta'ao
Deathapalooza
TrailOfTragedy
losersk8er032
Eleventeen
SubtleDagger
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
Linsey
chips88
addicted_tochaos

[chips88]

xKONRADx -9-the structure of the piece didn't really do it for me. Makes it kind of drag on.
A_Perfect_Sonnet2-good word choices to create your mood
pixiesfanyo-3-you really make the rhyme scheme and the words and the syntax work for you. good job
Disco Dragon-6
ta'ao-8
Deathapalooza-7-pretty good, could be better. maybe better word choice
TrailOfTragedy-12-just doesnt work. need to polish it up more
Eleventeen-11
SubtleDagger-1-I really like the extended metaphor. good job
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger-4
Linsey-10-didnt understand why you kept saying wait. kind of redundant
chips88-me
addicted_tochaos-5

[TrailOfTragedy]

xKONRADx - 9 - I liked it a lot, actually, it just...it just didn't make a lot of sense.
A_Perfect_Sonnet - 4 - Could easily do without the first paragraph. Other than that it was good.
pixiesfanyo - 1 - Beautiful. That's all it comes down too.
Disco Dragon - 3 - Aside from the first paragraph, this was a very nice piece. I really enjoyed the 'flashbulb memories' bit.
ta'ao - 12 - Sorry but I just felt this was, well, dumb.
Deathapalooza - 5 - I really like the wording that was used and it all flowed nicely. A few simple lines here and there but overall, a good piece.
TrailOfTragedy - n/a
Eleventeen - 10 - This piece wasn't bad it just wasn't very original.
SubtleDagger - 2 - All I can say is that I wish I could tie you and pixies for first. But I flipped a coin instead and you lost, haha. Beautiful piece.
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger - 7 - Not bad, not bad at all. I really enjoyed the first part but other than that I felt you were lacking in depth and the piece just seemed limited.
Linsey - 8 - Written well but like eleventeen, I felt it wasn't very original.
chips88 - 11 - A very cliche, nu-metal angsty piece. I'm sure you can do better.
addicted_tochaos - 6 - Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Probably could be a #1 piece of others hadn't done just a littler better than you.

Rankings:

pixiesfanyo
subtledagger
Disco Dragon
A_Perfect_Sonnet
Deathapalooza
addicted_tochaos
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
Linsey
xKONRADx
Eleventeen
chips88
ta'ao

[Linsey]

sorry if my votes arent very detailed, but if i dont get them done today i probably wont have time to do them before voting closes.

NOTE :: the following ratings and crits are just my opinions, so dont get offended if i didnt like something...

13 - xKONRADx - is this supposed to be your entry? if so, i dont think it should be. no offense, but it seems like a poor attempt to be wordy and poetic.

3 - A_Perfect_Sonnet - its ok. its emotive, but although theres quite alot of metaphors ans stuff in there, i think it seems a bit too blunt in places. pretty good though.

1 - pixiesfanyo - i like it. short and sweet. it made me think... good thing :P

6 - Disco Dragon - erm... i dont know. seems like quite a good theme.. but i dont like it. it doesnt flow particularly well, and there isnt anything to really think about/picture/imagine... its a bit bland.

4 - ta'ao - it was good apart from the bracket bits.. they completely ruined it. the rest of it was very good.

2 - Deathapalooza - its ok. it is quite emotive and simple, which is good.

12 - TrailOfTragedy - meh. i didnt like it.

11 - losersk8er032 - it seems you have sacrificed a great deal of much needed flow for not very good half rhymes. makes it sound VERY forced.

10 - Eleventeen - "Do you care? - Oh never mind" i do not like that line at all. and i dont like the stanza its in either. i dont like the rhyme scheme, or the fact that you have used those dashes... why not just put it on a new line?? youve also spelt "try" wrong.. i also dont like the way you've tried to make the lines rhyme by putting the last half of it on a new line.. overall. its not great, and its an overused topic. sorry.

9 - SubtleDagger - i like the one line on its own. "but i will wake" - nice. the rest, however, is a bit bland, a bit boring, it doesnt flow very well, and seems to jump from talking about you to about a girl to about something else.. its too confusing. and the way you've split up sentecnes like ...

"The foundation does
Little to hide her complexion"

..doesnt work.. it doesnt flow at all. it would work better with "little" on the first line i think.. or "does" on the second.

7 - Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger - "My heart was scotched and drunk from spouting of blood"... doesnt make sense??

"That I couldn't be without
You Glad that we could talk this out" - im guessing you meant to put the "you" on the second line here, but i think it should be on the first..

i like the last two lines. they flow well, and the rhyming is pretty good. they also make you want to go back and read it again to see where the "double" comes from.. and then you kind of realise it.. its a brilliant ending, for a very average entry.

x - Linsey - me.

8 - chips88 - i dont really understand it.. i dont really know what else to say.

5 - addicted_tochaos - "I told them you keep your heart in a pillowcase" i LOVE this line. very beautiful. however... "I exchanged fairy tales with the king of cheese" the king of cheese??? not good.. change it to the king of something else (i dont know what..), and that would be a really good line. i do realise that the reference to cheese is there for a reason... but having it right on the ende of a line like that makes it stick out like a sore thumb, and it sounds wrong. it started quite well... and then went downhill. and ended pretty badly.

[ta'ao]

xKONRADx
A_Perfect_Sonnet
pixiesfanyo
Disco Dragon
ta'ao
Deathapalooza
TrailOfTragedy
losersk8er032
Eleventeen
SubtleDagger
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
Linsey
chips88
addicted_tochaos

[Deathapalooza04]

If I don't vote now I'll probably forget, so here it is.

4-xKONRADx:It's short and hard to understand, but I like it. Another setence or 2 and I would have liked it the best.

9-A_Perfect_Sonnet: Not bad, just not my style I guess. Fast breathy wispers killed it for me.

5-pixiesfanyo: It's good. The top 5 were all a toss-up for me.

7-Disco Dragon: It's decent, but it could have been stripped of some of the unnecessary words.

6-ta'ao: First half was good, but it fizzled. Some cute rhymes and some not-so cute rhymes.

x-Deathapalooza-your song sucks, go home.

10-TrailOfTragedy: A couple decent lines, but it seems more like a bad trip than a song.

11-Eleventeen: It rhymes good but it reads like a million other songs that I wouldn't listen to.

3-SubtleDagger:It's very good, of course. Nice metaphors and imagery.

1-Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger: I didn't really like it at first, but once I read it a few times out loud, I realized how easily it could be sung. The ending is good too, funny yet sick.

8-Linsey: I liked some of the lines, but I had trouble reading it without getting caught up on certain sentences.

12-chips88: The first sentence rhymes and then it fizzles, not bad for a song on the fly, but eh, you can tell you didn't get much time to think about it.

2-addicted_tochaos: I'm not sure why I like it, but I do. I think all of the we's make me feel included.

[i am the robots]

Linsey says mine is an over used topic.... hahahaha. How about your own bud? Cheesey love song.

Stop posting in the frigging votes thread, unless you're going to vote.

xKONRADx - 5th
A_Perfect_Sonnet - 7th
pixiesfanyo - 1st
Disco Dragon - 2nd
ta'ao - 6th
Deathapalooza - 8th
TrailOfTragedy - 10th
Eleventeen - 9th
Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger - 3rd
Linsey - 11th
chips88 - 12th
addicted_tochaos - 4th