Challenge 76: Voting

Vote Kerry or I stab your pets.

6495
pixiesfanyo
A_Perfect_Sonnet
hotcod32
Disco Dragon
zeppelinfan2k3
ta'ao
addicted_tochaos
DFelon204009
sketchyjoe
green day punk
SubtleDagger

[DFelon204409]

Ratings:

6495 - 5.1 - You didn't even bother to spell "through" out properly, which is representative of the rest of the half baked crap in here. You jump around from weak image to weak image. Pick a strong topic and actually focus on writing decent imagery.

pixiesfanyo - 7.1 - All of the words are very careful and deliberate. They are also in interesting conformations. Wow! It's possible to do a Cedric Bixler while having your own voice!

A_Perfect_Sonnet - 6.0 - You are really chained to the word as you don't have an original use for the word pious. That's boring. it's very predictable. Not terribly written but there's nothing that elicits excitement from the reader either.

hotcod32 - 6.6 - This is suprisingly enjoyable considering your lame line break/punctuation system. It falls to cliché at the end but it was okay while it lasted.

Disco Dragon - 6.9 - This had some cool/interesting moments. I don't like the subject matter as it criticizes my being omniscient but what can you do? Keep up the good work excepting the window line because it's too much like the one found in "Romeo a Go-Go" by Every Time I Die.

zeppelinfan2k3 - 5.9 - Lame sauce. Each line reads like a nugget of poop left by the deer that eat my mom's roses. They're too individualized. I want cohesion and significance. It's lame. God poems have been over done, especially ones criticizing him. Ones who write it think they're clever when in reality they're not. Also, you're a slave to the word "pious."

ta'ao - 7.3 - A little too obvious and blatant but it flows unlike any of the other lyrics and I just plain old enjoyed it. People often get to convoluted and drown in a pile of too many good ideas that fester and spoil under their own weight. I like how this doesn't esteem to be anything greater than an enjoyable sex sonnet. Good.

addicted_tochaos - 6.4 - Myeh. it's okay. Nothing amazing or terrible.

DFelon204009 - No

sketchyjoe - 4.5 - Yours is a worse version of zeppelin's.

green day punk - .01 - Buck futter. Worst lyrics I've read in a long time.

SubtleDagger - 6.7 - I know you know this is not your best poem. Props to the word Halcyon though. I have used it before and I really really love it.

Rankings:
1. ta'ao
2. pixiesfanyo
3. discodragon
4. subtledagger
5. hotcod
6. addictedtochaos
7. zep
8. APS
9. 6495
10. sketchsterjow
11. green day sucks

[Permanent Solution]

That remark'll cost you a point felon

6495 - I didn't overly enjoy this piece, anytime I felt like I had the flow you killed it again. Clearly a song, so lack of flow is not good.
pixiesfanyo - I am lost as to the meaning of the first two lines, they are written in horrible English. Interesting, with spurts of both greatness and inferiority.
A_Perfect_Sonnet - Rhyming was real sketchy frequently, which is not ok in this piece. Not overly impressive.
hotcod32 - Meh, not too original, all the strong diction you used seems out of place in such a simplistic piece. Really formulaic = too much repetition.
Disco Dragon - Pretty good. A few topics are discussed in a cliche way, but pulled off nicely nonetheless.
zeppelinfan2k3 - Me.
ta'ao - Very impressively done, mayne good things here, however, you lack the flow that is trademark of great sonnets, which hurts it quite a bit.
addicted_tochaos - A few generic/cliche descriptions bring this down a lot, they stick out like a sore thumb.
DFelon204009 - Solid piece, I liked it. The only problem is I don't know why I do...
sketchyjoe - A few weaker rhymes. Fitting to the style of music described, but that style is not very appreciated here, too simplistic. You also overused fuck, and it lost any power it should have had.
green day punk - Cliche.
SubtleDagger - Interesting rhyme sceme. Solid piece, A few cliche lines and images bring it down.

1.DFelon
2.Disco Dragon
3.ta'ao
4.SubtleDagger
5.pixies
6.sketchyjoe
7.atc
8.aps
9.6945
10.hotcod
11.green day punk

[pixiesfanyo]

Voting comments are for large bundle of stickss. :-*

6495
Interesting enough. It had some cliche metaphors and some interesting metaphors. Not really a winning piece but I guess it's a decent effort.
6.2/10 - 5

A_Perfect_Sonnet
This reminded me of something by Bright Eyes. I really really really dislike Bright Eyes. They are incredibly annoying in my eyes (ha, pun). Yeah, so not really my thing.
4.3/10 - 9

hotcod32
...I could tell from your avatar this was going to be pretty bad. Sorry but I'm not really into power pop.
3.3/10 - 10

Disco Dragon
You might of gone a little overboard on the langauge, but isn't that something we are all guilty of. This was a nice piece, much better than your recent stuff. I liked the line "Squirm for your spoils".. It was interesting but I think you should've followed it up with a stronger piece.
7.4/10 - 4

zeppelinfan2k3
You lost me on the meaning for this..sorry but I wasn't a big fan.
5.7/10 - 6

ta'ao
Very Jim Morrisonish. I digged it nice work newbie.
7.8/10 - 3

addicted_tochaos
Er...Not your best to say the least.
4.4/10 - 8

DFelon204009
Your writing has been getting alot more poetic as of late, more based on ideas over rhythm, I like it alot. You should win this one.
8.6/10 - 1

sketchyjoe
Reminds me of 25th Hour. See it and You'll see what I mean.
5.0/10 - 7

green day punk
....
1.0/10 - 11

SubtleDagger
It's good but it has some overused ideas. Oh well. Nice writing.
7.9/10 - 2

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

i calls em as i see em

6495 - 3
pixiesfanyo - 5
hotcod32 - 8
Disco Dragon - 2
zeppelinfan2k3 - 7
ta'ao - 4
addicted_tochaos - 6
DFelon204009 - 9
sketchyjoe - 10
green day punk - 11
SubtleDagger - 1

[ATC]

GOT WOOD? -W

6945- Very RHCP...sounds like something off Blood,sugar,sex,magic. Gotta love them. Funk is very under-done here. 1

pixies - Intriguing. Nice structure. Insectifuge= insect+centrifuge? Nice words, vague theme, generally pretty good. 3

perfectsonnet- A nice closer, the last bit. The first bit would, to me, be unclear without the music. I dont generally listen to much FATA beyond the songs where the girl sings. Autumn monologue, i think. Still good. 6

hotcod - Sound and fury. Not good enough yet. The whole 'girl that lied' theme has run its course, in the music scene as well as everywhere else. Branch out. Reach up and Reach beyond. 11

disco- decidedly average coming from you. ps: nice fetish. 8

zepfan - Cheesy intro. I'd take points off for using a religious theme in a challenge with 'pious' but you're the first yet, so tis alrite, i think. To answer your question in the replies thread, its not vague at all. For a zep fan, this seems punk-ish. Any rate, its average. I'd say make it shorter with a hook. That might be self-defeating in this case, so i'll just shut up. 10

ta'ao - Fuck me, Satan, that's a poem. I could swear i've read that somewhere. My dying bride? Romantic era poetry? Assuming thats an original, its pretty good. You made sex seem like a thesis. 4

addicted_tochaos- me...how do i love me? let me count the ways. whoops,a kitten just died.

dman -An interesting piece. I'd love to know how you'll turn this into a song without sounding like FATA or a very hardcore Taking Back Sunday. ps: How would you have John<3 sara sung?aside from these basic questions, its very fricken good, even if emo. 5

sketchyjoe- Punkrawka!! While i agree with the tirade, I like songs that have layers instead of it all thrown bare. It's hard hitting. Recommend me some songs in that genre. 9

Green day punk- Maybe its your name, but i can definitely see green day here. Reminds me of something off warning. 2

subtledagger- too many pronouns in the first and third person plural. What are you? Karl Marx? You sound like Linkin park with an education or a socially conscious Manowar.
Its alrite. For a god from the machine. 7

Somebody leave a light on, just in case i like the dancing, i remember where i go.

I make comments before I vote.

6495 - There's some nice vocab, and then there are some extremely generic lines. Half the time you sound pretty good, the other half you sound like Linkin Park.
Rank: 6th

pixiesfanyo - It's alright, some decent imagery, nice little metaphors. "Insectifuge" felt like a bit much. Pretty good.
Rank: 2nd

A_Perfect_Sonnet - I think if you're going to attempt a rhyme scheme, you better make sure everything has a semblance of rhyming and a good flow. This has neither, really. Some nice imagery, and nothing too special past that.
Rank: 8th

hotcod32 - Nothing that felt worthy of reading. It may work in song format, but it does not work lyrically.
Rank: 10th

Disco Dragon - Pretty good, but I think the third stanza just feels uber-lame. Nothing overly spectacular, some pretty good lines once in a while, though.
Rank: 3rd

zeppelinfan2k3 - It's alright, a lot of it feels like too blunt of a message. The first lines of stanzas feel pretty silly in the present tense, and with no room to elaborate. I guess it's pretty good, it just feels a bit too typical for this sort of song.
Rank: 5th

ta'ao - Good, but too short and lacking in anything I haven't seen done a million times. The last time somebody did a soonet, it was like this, except worse. I still am seriously tired of this method of writing, though.
Rank: 4th

addicted_tochaos - Feels like an Evanescance song. Too many damn pronouns for most of the piece, to the point that you're not really saying anything profound most of the time. I guess some of the metaphors are alright, but they're just thrown out there for no real reason.
Rank: 7th

DFelon204409 - Wow, this is good. It's obvious that about half of this is just boring storytelling, but you manage to use that to your advantage. The message is just perfect, it sort of transcends all the angsty stuff I have to read.
Rank: 1st

sketchyjoe - May work as a song, not lyrically significant in any way. The forced rhyming grates on my nerves, too.
Rank: 9th

green day punker - Hahaha. Typical high school poetry. Nothing special or of worth.
Rank: 11th

And me, I'm the best.

[Dancin' Man]

I heart your comments.

[sketchyjoe]

6495: Your song starts well and you get your point accross. The rhyme scheme works well but after this he song goes downhill. The chorus seems a bit boring and you seem to be putting phrases in just because you think they sound cool. 7th
pixiesfanyo: I liked this song. The imagery is good and the cyclical structure works well. 4th
A_Perfect_Sonnet: Your message comes across well but some of the images are a bit stale. The song suffers in the middle from the change in rhyme scheme but at the end it picks up again. 8th
hotcod32: I didn't like this. It was just too repetitive and the subject didn't really do it for me. 11th
Disco Dragon: I liked this song as well. There is a lot of alliteration that works well. The song has a good progression and the vocabulary and imagery is very evocative. 3rd
zeppelinfan2k3: This song was good. There was a lot of good alliteration and vocabulary. The rhyme scheme worked really well as well. 2nd
ta'ao: You stick to your chosen form well but the Shakespearean sonnet with an Iambic Pentameter is just too overdone in my opinion. The subject matter isn't particularly inspiring either. 9th
addicted_tochaos: I really liked some sections of this but others weren't so good. The subject matter is well-worn but you still manage to find some original things to say about it. 5th
DFelon204009: Great. A really original song that conjures up a clear image of the situation you're describing. The use of humour and asides work brilliantly as well. 1st
sketchyjoe: Well I liked it.
green day punk: It's pretty standard stuff and some of your metaphors are very cheesy. 10th
SubtleDagger: The imagery and repetition worked well but this song just didn't do it for me. 6th

[thedeadwalk!]

6495 - (5.2/10)
pixiesfanyo - (5/10)
A_Perfect_Sonnet - (4/10)
hotcod32 - (5.4/10)
Disco Dragon - (5.8/10)
zeppelinfan2k3 - (5.3/10)
ta'ao - (6/10)
addicted_tochaos - (7.5/10)
DFelon204009 - (7/10)
sketchyjoe - (5.1/10)
green day punk - (4.8/10)
SubtleDagger - (5.9/10)

[6945]

6495
7/10 pixiesfanyo -4th
9/10 A_Perfect_Sonnet -1st
7.4/10 hotcod32 -2nd
6.8/10 Disco Dragon -7th
7.2/10 zeppelinfan2k3 -3rd
7/10 ta'ao -6th
6.5/10 addicted_tochaos -9th
6/10 DFelon204009 -10th
7/10 sketchyjoe -5th
5/10 green day punk -11th
6.8/10 SubtleDagger -8th

[pixiesfanyo]

Green day punk- Maybe its your name, but i can definitely see green day here. Reminds me of something off warning. 2

What the fuck....

[green day punk]

6495
Rank: 6th

pixiesfanyo
Rank: 12th

A_Perfect_Sonnet
Rank: 8th

hotcod32
Rank: 10th

Disco Dragon
Rank: 3rd

zeppelinfan2k3
Rank: 5th

ta'ao
Rank: 4th

addicted_tochaos
Rank: 7th

DFelon204409
Rank: 1st

sketchyjoe
Rank: 9th

green day punk
Rank: 11th

SubtleDagger
Rank:2nd

[pixiesfanyo]

^ Aw. He got mad at me because I made fun of him. I'd like justification of my score.

[Nightvision]

6495 - seems like a case of style over substance - not all bad though... 6.8/10

pixiesfanyo - not the best I've read by you, but by no means the worst. 7.3/10

A_Perfect_Sonnet - see above - not your best, not your worst. 7.0/10

hotcod32 - Didn't quite hit the spot for me, but not an awful song... 6.2/10

Disco Dragon - Didn't enjoy this as much as I usually enjoy your stuff, although it was sprinkled with some very good lines. 7.2/10

zeppelinfan2k3 - Really liked this - you have some major beef with god... 8.0/10

ta'ao - Don't know quite why, but I enjoyed this... very... different. 7.1/10

addicted_tochaos - hamstrung by a bit of a dodgy subject matter, and some pretty rough lines, but I still thought it was ok. 6.3/10

DFelon204009 - Very enjoyable, but I wish I knew why I enjoyed it so much... 8.1/10

sketchyjoe - My pet hate is forced rhyming - you had lots of that, and I really didn't enjoy it. 5.0/10

green day punk - For a first song, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever read - but I think it'd be ludicrous to suggest you were going to finish anywhere but last here... sorry dude. 4.8/10

SubtleDagger - I was either going to love this or hate it - fortunately, I loved it. Really, really, really enjoyed this. 8.5/10


Rankings:
Subtledagger = 1st
DFelon = 2nd
Zepfan = 3rd
Pixiesfanyo = 4th
Disco Dragon = 5th
Ta'ao = 6th
Sonnet = 7th
6495 = 8th
addictedtochaos = 9th
hodcod = 10th
Sketchyjoe = 11th
Green Day Punk = 12th

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

cough... green day ranked himself... cough

You just had to tell him, didn't you?

Now if he comes back, fixes it, and gives pixies a reason for his rank, they count.

(Not that it matters to me, I'm in 2nd )

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

well, i can delete my post
[/sneakier]

[Disco Dragon]

If anybody wants a justification of their rank, just let me know.

1) SubtleDagger
2) ta’ao
3) 6495
4) Dfelon
5) pixiesfanyo
6) zeppelinfan
7) addicted_tochaos
8) A Perfect Sonnet
9) hotcod
10) sketchyjoe
11) green day punk