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09-05-2004, 08:31 PM
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#1 |
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Sex Bomb
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,026
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Thats Life
He admits sometimes he gets more than a little pissed
Everybody knows that she slits her wrists she has more problems than he has cares but he still loves her and thats the kinda love everyone is looking for but she doesent know that and he goes unoticed And he says oooo Chorus: Thats life oooooo Thats life oooooo Thats life Tuesday was the day he would finally say he loves her Friday was the day they would go out to the movie He got in his car that friday night at 8 and he waited till i got late but she never did show oooo Chorus: Thats life ooooooo Thats life ooooooo Thats life He got out of bed to find out that his girl was dead hit and run and starting that he never did say a word again I guess he felt there was nothing really left to say though he still breathes he's not living anymore tired of being good for nothing he grabs himself a bottle and he grows old Chorus 2 Thats life ooooooo Thats life ooooooo Thats life You gotta find a way to keep on movin' It's hard I know Even some of the best take the easy way out You gotta remember Thats life ooooooo Thats life ooooooo Thats life You gotta find a way to keep on movin' Solo Gotta find a way to keep on movin... ------------------------------------------- Comments/Creative Criticsm |
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Digging: Miniature Tigers - Tell It To The Volcano 
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09-05-2004, 09:02 PM
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#2 |
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The Chosen
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Fûck Feûdalism
Posts: 1,876
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i like it. seemed like there were a few gramatical errors but the whold idea itself is good. almost reminds me of pearl jams last kiss. almost.
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09-05-2004, 09:05 PM
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#3 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Lisbon, PORTUGAL
Posts: 638
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I like the message, i think it's something new. for that congrats. i'm sorry but i have to say this...CHANGE THE CHORUS!!! it's screws everything...
He got out of bed to find out that his girl was dead hit and run and starting that he never did say a word again I guess he felt there was nothing really left to say though he still breathes he's not living anymore tired of being good for nothing he grabs himself a bottle and he grows old<-----imo this is the best stanza. so overall i think it's good and it's worth 7.5/10.....however if you change the chorus(please do) it can rise up to 8/10. it's up to you, it's your song. liked the topic tho! ------------------------ could you crit? thank you: http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=234740 |
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09-05-2004, 11:34 PM
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#4 |
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Walmart Security
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 306
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It rocked dude. I loved the message, loved the flow, even more loved the imagery.
KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK. 9.9/10 (Always room for improvement. Highest score ever given by me.) |
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09-06-2004, 12:54 AM
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#5 |
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Sex Bomb
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,026
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Yay im honored Blue Light
 Im stuck on a chorus though  i agree its not to good...any idea's |
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Digging: Miniature Tigers - Tell It To The Volcano
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09-06-2004, 12:57 AM
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#6 |
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Greyskull
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Winchester, VA
Posts: 4,039
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well if everyone loves it, then i hate it... jerk
but actually... this song ****ing rules, i wont elaborate, because words just arent enough to explain your ability to capture "extreme awesomeness" <--quote me on that-- in your lyrics, as this song does so 9.5/10 |
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09-06-2004, 12:59 AM
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#7 |
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Greyskull
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Winchester, VA
Posts: 4,039
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He admits sometimes he gets more than a little pissed
actually i did find a problem with that line, change it to: He admits sometimes he gets a little more than pissed its the same words, but see how much better that flowed?, and if you didnt then screw you and keep your old lyrics |
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09-06-2004, 01:02 AM
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#8 | |
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Sex Bomb
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,026
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Quote:
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Digging: Miniature Tigers - Tell It To The Volcano
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09-06-2004, 07:43 PM
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#9 |
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Sex Bomb
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,026
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Anyone got any chorus idea's?
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Digging: Miniature Tigers - Tell It To The Volcano
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09-21-2004, 05:30 PM
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#10 |
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Sex Bomb
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,026
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Bump
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Digging: Miniature Tigers - Tell It To The Volcano
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11-16-2004, 06:08 PM
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#11 |
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Sex Bomb
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,026
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Bump I wanna hear some more comments.
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Digging: Miniature Tigers - Tell It To The Volcano
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11-16-2004, 07:36 PM
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#12 |
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Pictoral Pontification
Supermod
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: I don't need luck
Posts: 10,999
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Title: Sounds simple enough, it obviously fits with your chorus. nothing complicated here, just standard.
Song Structure/Flow: It flows really well, probably due to the rhymes. The chorus changes up, but it is easy to see it as a song. I could definitely see this as a pop sort of song. Rhyming: really simple rhyming, but it doesn't sound bad or anything. It just comes off as being really simplistic, but I don't think this song would work any other way. Imagery: This isn't one of those songs... Its just a direct statement about your view of life, nothing wrong with that. But I'm not going to try to analyse the deep meaning of your lines, because I don't believe there is a deeper meaning. But the simple lines set a stage that can't be argued. Emotion: This, again, isn't really one of those songs. I understood what you were saying, but it didn't make me want to cry. Perhaps shrug my shoulders, tilt my head and sigh: "That's life..." at the end, but that's about it. Best Part: Everything but the chorus. REally simple but yuo convey a nice message. Worst Part: Chorus. It probably works in song form, but here, it looks terrible. But, meh. Overall: Fun to read, easy to read, no complaints. I liked it enough, certainly isn't some deep, mysterious song, but enjoyable nonetheless. Overall 8/10 |
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Digging: Taylor Swift - Fearless
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11-22-2004, 10:50 PM
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#13 |
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Sex Bomb
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,026
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Cool....I tried to do some bob dylan style writing a story.
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Digging: Miniature Tigers - Tell It To The Volcano
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