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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 63
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rate this song on a 1-10 scale, u cant use 0(for my sake)
im been searching for years
and i found myself been hidden under a paper cut all my life ive been wondering for years and i found the answer been passed from tree to tree all my life ive been running for years and now i realize theres been nobody racing me all my life ive been drivng for years and i have been lost been driving in circles all my life where were you when i was in trouble all these years ive been in a black hole dont know where im going im just a fly on the wall i have no direction but my search is over now ive been yelling for years now i hear the echo been stuck in a valley all my life ive been learning for years and now i know the answers been a grain of sand all my life ive been struggling for years and now i broke free been in a straight jacket all my life ive been searching for years and i found myself been hiding in a paper cut all my life where were you when i was in trouble all these years ive been in a black hole dont know where im going im just a fly on the wall i have no direction but my search is over now yeah my search is over now also what would be a good name for it? |
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#2 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The Great state of NC
Posts: 611
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All My Life,.... thats what Id call it. I can see this as a Dylan, Seger kind of song with jsut an acoustic. Id say 7 or 8, I liekd the verses but not the black hole part. Dont know y
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#3 |
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Walmart Security
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 306
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Verses good, the chorus could use some work. Nice structure. Nice flow. Good word usage and imagery. You have a good song going for you.
I like the "All my life" suggestion for a song. I personally heard a rolling stones song in my head. But dylan, seger was also a good suggestion. |
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#4 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 63
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this is an old post, but i had to look it up bcause i lost my lirics i originally wrote down, and i noticed somebody didnt like the black hole part. what that part meant is all these years, ive been lost and alone, and not able to escape, like getting sucked into a black hole, i coulda used quicksand, but black hole flows smoother adn rhymes.
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#5 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 9
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K, first off do not listen to Blue Light because apparently he cannot recognize good literature when he reads it.
Your Chorus is good Your Verses suck hard core.... Period I'm currently taking a philosophy class in which I have to decipher writings of Aristotle which prove easier than reading this garbage. This doesn't make sense, grammaticly and structuraly. Just read what you wrote. I'm not even going to take the time to edit this, Re-submit a non****ty version please. This is a rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough draft. |
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