|
||||||||
|
|
|
#1 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 202
|
State of Catalepsy, looking for opinions
White lies
Cast upon us Cover our eyes, slit our throats, and lay us down to rest Indulged In fake perceptions Of what they say, that's so untrue, why can't we think for ourselves It's the same cycle We're still going nowhere Running in place from an evil enemy Let the media instill our views for us We're mindless ****s infront of our T.V.s ...Just sit and stare Leave it Cause it's not going to get better Just move on Look forward to brighter days ahead Put on a fake disguise And act as if you don't realize What's going on around us everyday Take these Words of wisdom Slam them down with disregard as if you know what's best Make up Senseless theories To explain why we live in a state of catalepsy It's the same cycle We're still going nowhere Running in place from an evil enemy Self-awareness lost its presence in us Our minds drift away once again ...But who cares Leave it Cause it's not going to get better Just move on Look forward to brighter days ahead Put on a fake disguise And act as if you don't realize What's going on around us everyday Last edited by perkeyset; 01-22-2005 at 03:03 AM. |
|
|
|
|
|
#2 |
|
funkrocker
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: charelston, SC
Posts: 91
|
dam man thats really good. its got a good kinda rgid feel to it but in a good way. could get some good syncopated guitar in there. keep it up tho 8.5/10
|
|
|
|
|
|
#3 |
|
rock et le roll
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where you live
Posts: 416
|
Leave it
Cause it’s not going to get better Just move on Look forward to brighter days ahead Put on a fake disguise And act as if you don’t realize What’s going on around us everyday - good, i like that.... 7.8/10 |
|
|
|
|
|
#4 |
|
Fairies Wear Boots
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 801
|
very cynical but alrmingly reflective i think !
Very much along the lines of being resigned to what we seem to have no control over..i'd love to say you're wrong but ya know..i think ya right |
|
|
|
|
|
#5 | |
|
myspace.com/shagramusic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Toronto
Posts: 442
|
nice. not the standard angsty emo stuff i've been reading.
Quote:
apart from that, i enjoyed it. 8/10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#6 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 202
|
I touched the song up a little, truthfull opinions would be much appreciated. thanks
|
|
|
|
|
|
#7 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 202
|
please give me some input
|
|
|
|
|
|
#8 |
|
I'm a squirrel.
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: the Fool's hill.
Posts: 934
|
its awesome i like the line about the media,... so true
9/10 |
|
|
|
|
|
#9 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 92
|
The first two verses are my favorite, i like the syllable counting for first line, second line, third line is duplicated from one verse to the other
|
|
|
|
|
|
#10 |
|
I Am The Walrus
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: C'wood, ON
Posts: 341
|
I love this piece, it's creative. It's written well and it flows well. Good job. I wouldn't change anything. 9/10
Also could you crit my song, On The Other Side Of The Wall? http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=291272 |
|
|
|
|
|
#11 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: po-town,ny
Posts: 44
|
just wow,really amazing..i suggest
<i>Leave it,Just move on Cause it's not going to get better Look forward to brighter days ahead Put on a fake disguise,as if you don't realize What's going on around us everyday</i> |
|
|
|
![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
| Rate This Thread | |
|
|