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Old 06-30-2012, 10:20 AM   #1
kitsch
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inconsolable

pinch my nose right
b'tween my eyes
i've broke down crying
for the seventh time
"hey man, there's a quiet room off to the side"
"thanks, i just need to lie down"

puffy red eyes brow furrowed blindly whimpering like a child jaw shaking voice unsteadily falling its way down into cracked and broken syllables punctuated by sobs
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Old 06-30-2012, 11:23 AM   #2
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this one's gonna make you a star
 
Old 06-30-2012, 11:42 AM   #3
SugarCoatedSour
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lacrimology's selling point
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Old 06-30-2012, 02:58 PM   #4
kitsch
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it was a novel jot in the middle of a bout of remorse of loss of someone i loved

i feel so far away from this now, the contrast strikes me as comic

sugar, i had to google that

how do you know a seemingly endless supply of hyper-specialized words
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Old 06-30-2012, 03:39 PM   #5
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some sort of unrealized long standing lineage of existence.
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Old 07-04-2012, 06:22 PM   #6
foreverendeared
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SugarCoatedSour View Post
some sort of unrealized long standing lineage of existence.
lol
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Old 07-08-2012, 10:32 PM   #7
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wtf that wasnt funny
 
Old 07-09-2012, 02:16 AM   #8
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found it funny
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:00 AM   #9
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no you didnt
 
Old 07-09-2012, 09:03 AM   #10
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you didn't post this. Your persona did.
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:46 AM   #11
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nah that was straight up me
 
Old 07-09-2012, 10:55 AM   #12
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eh, I don't think so. Maybe you should really think about it and let me know after.
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Old 07-10-2012, 09:39 AM   #13
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says the dude who desperately wants to come off as the universe's third eye
 
Old 07-10-2012, 11:38 AM   #14
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you missed the boat young one. Your response has taken too long; made to gestate in the bile trap you call your mind.
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:39 AM   #15
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Short but nice
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Old 10-04-2012, 01:14 PM   #16
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"puffy red eyes brow furrowed blindly whimpering like a child jaw shaking voice unsteadily falling its way down into cracked and broken syllables punctuated by sobs"

i really like this line. very stirring imagery
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:28 AM   #17
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Fuck oath man. I was kinda in that situation just today.
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:27 AM   #18
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'oath'?
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:31 AM   #19
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Aussie slang, sorry. Means fuck yeah basically
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:41 AM   #20
kitsch
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Sweet. I like this looking back on it. I wrote it during the immediate aftermath of the breakup and during witbdrawal from opiate addiction, both of which had been a permanent fixture in my life for 2 years.

Thinking about converting this into lyrics.
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:46 AM   #21
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Only really the last line thing would need work for that, and even then not really
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Old 12-24-2012, 11:57 PM   #22
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I like it
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:08 AM   #23
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This rules! I don't know why but I don't like the words "punctuated by sobs." It seems too well thought out. I would like a little bit more rawness in the end. You are still killing it Kitsch. Keep it up!
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:06 PM   #24
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this thread is from august?!

BUMP
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