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Old 07-24-2006, 05:00 PM   #7455
Steerpike
Ninja Pirate... Yarr!
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zombietown, USA
Posts: 14,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shady Ultima
So, I started workin with a girl I went to high school and grade school with, but never once talked to. We talk often now, she got my msn and myspace, and we talk quite a bit. She's the total preppy girl, clean, doesn't do drugs, drinks, has the stuck up friends, and is totally gorgeous. And I want to tell her I like her, but then I look at myself. I'm a grunge rocker to the core. I have long greasy hair, a messy goatee, perma fried look, loose clothes, occasionally ripped jeans, I smoke, I drink too much, and I sing about nothing at all. And I want her to give me a chance, but I know that her friends don't like me, and we prolly wouldn't work out... But I still want to try. She's a girl, that for the first time in my life, I don't want to just have sex with. Fine, call me a sex hound, or whatever, but I just want to date her.

Like I said, problem is, I don't know how well we would interact as a couple. I mean, it couldn't be anyworse then my relationship with the last gf. If any of you remember there was 3 girls I liked, and everyone said to try the 2nd. Well, she turned out to be a crazy bitch when we were dating, and would freak out for anything I did. But ya, this girl is a really nice girl, who I get along with, but I'm not sure if she could deal with me. I'll admit I have a lot of emotional problems, hell my boss yells at me all the time because everytime I do anything I say sorry, I apologize too much and always feel bad for everything I do.

So, I don't know if I should tell this girl I like her... or just bottle it up like I usually do
Where to start...

First off, stop trying to file yourself and others into these sorts of categories. I remember not long ago reading a story about a woman making 6 figures a year who dated a dirt-poor, grungy graphic artist with a wicked sense of humor and loved him to death.

Second, you need to stop internalizing other people's perspectives of you. Whenever you walk into a room, you have to maintain the mindset that you belong there, and if someone has a problem with that, it's their fault for being on the wrong page.

If you're concerned about your greasy image, just shower. Women aren't as concerned with how much you've got as with what you do with what you have. Play up the strengths, minimize the weaknesses.

Don't let her beauty or status intimidate you. You need to maintain the attitude that good looks and money are not enough to impress you. People with those are a dime a dozen.

You need to consider every positive trait you have and develop that, hype it up. It's all about turning a strength into a virtue.

Also, stop with the guilt! Stop apologizing for everything! You're doing yourself so much harm by doing that. I used to be the same way, but I learned to stop, so it is possible.

You need to work on yourself a bit before dating will become easier for you.

One thing that will help: screw what her friends think! You're not trying to impress them, so if they don't like you, it's their problem, not yours.

You need to find ways to boost your self-esteem. Keep a journal of goals and accomplishments. List all of your positive and negative traits and detail ways to improve upon the former and minimize or eliminate the latter.

As for the girl herself, casually flirt with her, tease her a bit. But don't put your feelings on the table too quickly. Never play an ace when a deuce will do.
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