Wow, the sh
it just keeps piling up for you, sorry to hear it man
As for the situation with your lady, you know that you aren't the bad guy and so does she. And since she knows you're not a bad guy (or she wouldn't be with you.) you shouldn't take the things she says to heart. She's obviously at a bad stage aswell with her grandpa and whatnot, and good on you for being there for her but maybe she just needs time to get her act together. You've gotta believe she's pretty stressed too. Afterall, if you both like each other as much as it seems you do, you can make it work. Give her a little time to see if she is getting her emotions together, and if by then things are still the same, then you've got to take action on it.
Don't listen to your ex, what she is saying holds no water whatsoever.