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Maybe I should design my own card and print from home. "Mom, you're in the top half of mothers, of which I can be quite sure. It's quite plausible at least 50% of mothers have either abandoned their kids, sold them for sex, or killed them. You didn't do any of those to me, Happy Mother's Day!"
Oh wait, that would defeat the whole purpose of a special holiday to honor your mother.
Or how about, "Mom, you're better than average of all mothers! Happy Mother's Day!"
Until Hallmark starts printing something on the card I can actually agree with, I won't send them to people.
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