[oathfbass]

“My name may be Thom Yorke, but only I can call me Thom Yorke.” ~ Thom Yorke

"I am the greatest thing to happen to black music." ~ Thom Yorke

"Have I told you I have cancer? It's a very special kind of cancer. Cancer of the soul." ~ Thom Yorke

"I didn't ask to be Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke asked to be me." ~ Thom Yorke

"Ironically my brother died in a car accident shortly after Airbag was recorded. He's not an identical twin so I didn't care." ~ Thom Yorke

"The concept of Kid A? How about the concept of I kick your ****ing ***." ~ Thom Yorke

"The band often jokes that I stole Jonny's "H" and put it in my name. That's funny as hell mother****er I dare you not to laugh" ~ Thom Yorke

"Well actually I'm not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me." ~ Thom Yorke

"I'm not saying my fans are stupid, but I once left a cabbage onstage next to a harmonica and nobody noticed for three hours" ~ Thom Yorke

"The only thing worse than Radiohead fans is everything else except me" ~ Thom Yorke

"Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey" ~ Thom Yorke

"Look at that fat kid, in the audience. You want some pie you little fatty? I strongly dislike fat kids. Security, please remove him, that fat kid, over there, by the pies." ~ Thom Yorke

"If I could be any famous person, I'd be John Wilkes Booth, because I'd love to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the face" ~ Thom Yorke

"I've been reading a book lately. That book is Thom Yorke, and the conclusion is that he's brilliant." ~ Thom Yorke

"Trying to find my flaws is like trying to find a black person at one of our concerts" ~ Thom Yorke

"The only thing more difficult than being a God is being Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke has all these responsibilities, to save the planet. To save the world. To redeem Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"I'm celibate. It's not that I'm a religious or moral person or anything, it's just, if you aren't ****ing Thom Yorke, what's the point? Actually, just kidding, Thom Yorke and I **** all the time. Hehehe. Had you." ~ Thom Yorke

"One person can't change the world. But Thom Yorke can, because he's two people. Both of them are Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified." ~ Thom Yorke

"When I was born, my mother didn't know what to name me. Eventually she named me after Thom Yorke." ~Thom Yorke

"I wear lampshades on my head and stand in people's living rooms. They're like 'Billy can you go turn on the light?' and I whisper 'you mean turn on the thom yorke' *chortle*" ~ Thom Yorke

"Cellphones give you cancer? I give you cancer." ~ Thom Yorke

"I often steal sandwiches, eat them, and put the container's back., with a signed autograph of my self in its place. It's my way of giving back to society." ~ Thom Yorke

"If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"Kid A is about an abortion. An abortion of the soul. *Begins to cry, holds up air quotes* Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"I recently enrolled at an elementary school and they accepted me. I am finally going to get revenge on those kids that beat me up as a boy, assuming they are still attending." ~ Thom Yorke

"If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior." ~ Thom Yorke

“I don't think I have a superiority complex. I have a "you're not Thom Yorke" complex.” ~ Thom Yorke

"Hungry Hungry Hippos is so depressing. You continuously chomp away at those balls and you are alone and it's your birthday.'" ~ Thom Yorke

"My parents mistook me for a sack of potatoes so I sat in the corner of the kitchen for the first 13 years of my life. My birth name is Thom Potatoes *laughs*." ~ Thom Potatoes

"I love listening to music with my mate. We don't do it often, but when we do we'll just sit there and lose our heads in it. Sooner or later he'll start saying something to the effect of "Hey, Thom, can you put in something else now?" but I'll just nod coldly and respond "not just yet". But after awhile, I'll finally budge. And that's when I crack a big smile and take out The Bends and put in Kid A. My friend just sighs and leaves the room, and I can't blame him. He's not ready for that leap yet." - Thom Yorke

"You know, it's never easy to understand why I do what I do. For other people, I mean." - Thom Yorke

"I don't eat food, I Thom Yorke it. What's the difference? When normal people "eat" food, they first chew it with their "teeth" until it's small enough to go through their "esophagus" and then be broken down in their "stomach" and absorbed. When I Thom Yorke food, I chew it with my Thom Yorkes until it's small enough to go through my Yorke tube. It's then broken down in my Thomach, where if I eat too much sweets, I get a mean Thommy ache! But it's okay because Jonny's usually there to rub the pain out." - Thom Yorke