DFelon - Yes, it's too short. More importantly, though, I really dislike the rhyming in this piece. It's just... bad. I didn't really expect that.
5th
bowl of oranges - Ugh. "Thug" is not poetic. Don't use words like "thug". It does seemingly get better as it goes on but man, it starts crappy. At least you ditched the storytelling approach.
4th
ITRIEDVOODOO - Sucks. "Waltz in perfect step" sounds like a Norma Jean ripoff. Your structure is horrid. Some lines simply don't make sense because you have no control of language.
8th
Disco Dragon This is really strange. In just about every stanza, I think the first line is just awful, then maybe there's some decent stuff in the next lines, then the last one is mediocre. Odd. Still not that great.
6th
Necroses - I'm not sure what to say. It's just terrible. You basically just paraphrase The Bible (and misspell words), and yet it's even less interesting than The Bible.
13th
RunAmok - The end is lame because you switch tenses for no real reason at all. The rest is lame because the vocabulary is often completely unnecessary or forced, and the imagery is either cliche or uninteresting. I just don't see what people are getting out of this song. It's subpar by your own standards.
7th
bisnotch - It was going well until I got to this:
Quote:
Men overboard swimming for freedom,
Cause survival has become so scene.
|
I dropped you a place just for saying "scene". Aside from that it's the best, but still not that good. Sad, really.
2nd
Corupt - Your rhymes make me look like this: :'(
11th
Javery - A bunch of lifeless unpoetic statements. Dull.
10th
atc - Second best song. It's decent enough. I gave it first because that other loser said "scene". Man, what a loser.
1st
puredemocracy - Haha, this is exactly like Disco's and bisnotch's combined except way crappier. That's all I can say.
9th
machinegunfunk - Way to write a Metallica song. This has all been said before, and guess what: it doesn't say anything. "Wah government is bad and unjust :'(". The reason that this sucks isn't just that it's a political song, it's because it's the most stereotypical political song I've ever seen.
15th
Dancin' Man - These Revelations songs suck. Stop writing songs about really insipid sections of The Bible. At least this is way more poetic and a tad bit more interesting than Necroses's. Still, come on. These Bible songs are lame.
3rd
zer0 - Blows. Rhyming is awful, subject matter isn't good.
14th
Crimsonpunk - You butcher quite a few common expressions here, your grammar blows, and your structure too. You're a viable triple threat. Congrats.
12th
Me - Upset that all the songs sucked.
Ugh. COME ONE YOU GUYS GET WITH IT ALREADY